Author Topic: Ask Jack Anything  (Read 21488 times)

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #240 on: January 10, 2023, 07:58:16 AM »
Why are you calling my phone?

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #241 on: January 13, 2023, 12:36:24 AM »
Why are you calling my phone?

I didn't know it was yours!

there have been a number of incidences of unauthorized telephone message forwarding both through voicemails and telephone calls telephonic calls and text messages, where messages I have sent out to one person have been split and exploded out through a refractory prison of laser splitters in a matter of speaking that have taken one message and duplicated across a vast swath of the internet in a way that was designed to make me look bad but instead just allows the whole world to know how much I love grapefruit, and I believe I'm still allowed to love her I don't know how the emergency no contact means I got to stop loving her and most famously somebody said that I needed to forget all about her and I wasn't in charge of situation with well I'm not in charge of the situation but I am in charge of my feelings and my feelings about my phone being viciously violated digital rape are a widely ranging all the way from contempt at the moronic bastards who did this to me thus bringing down uncountedly large amounts of harm upon themselves and future generations as well as their current stock portfolios, and also I'm annoyed that I've been given this much largest of authority in terms of charisma and demonstrative power of devotion because it's kind of cool that somebody wants us to be not together so bad that they got to play this kind of fucking penny Annie bullshit High School laundry list kinds of fucking games to fucking fuck with us wise call fucking Queen on a snazzy the 60,000 year old ruling magic leader of the fucking whatever piss her off too as well as me make the mad Hungarian even matter oh brilliant oh good idea I put down the fucking phone and clap but I might fucking get syphilis too.

*nostrils_barely_trembling*

TL DR McK: All of all y'all could have handled this thing better than this, and I say this to everyone involved in the nicest and most generously possible terms of friendship that I can possibly muster: it's crime shame what you people have done to yourselves, as well as my future life of being able to support myself by doing nothing but signing autographs of 8x10 glasses and making children's wishes come true, that's my job now that's all I have to do I'm not going to need to be a scientist I'm not going to have to need to do anything but just make people happy by existing and reminding them that I fucking kick their fucking ass and wow you made it a lot easier for me and a lot harder for you to suffer through.

In other words, in a walnut prison: Just more of the same goddam 3D shenanigans again. O you Alpha Draconans; o ye you grand great deities, oh you're all so great and so-so strong, when will you and your adorable little litters of spawning salamanders that don't spawn so good with low self-esteem and with your little lizard brains figure it out, with your totes'n'dorbs little lizard brains, which really were (and still are) designed by The Divine, originally very very perfy-e-ley to begin with—although they don't work function so well without the same kind of neurotransmitters that you and your AD-genome can more easily get on a planet that doesn't have the same kind of atmospheric filters against the sunlight that you've all been tricked into putting into the atmosphere? it's almost a sad thing to say that the Officer Conans have become the Pew-pew-knee Flunky Draco Peonians. I have to say it: you hate to see it. a once proud and Noble warrior race of genetically engineered überdragomensch... reduced to the standards that one would expect at a reptile zoo that featured “Jane Badler's Rodeo Clowns” and “Ethel Merman's New Mermaid Nouveau La Mer Au Zoo Review with combo bed and breakfast and motel buffet table on the side on alternate Tuesdays and every Sunday: FREE BAPTISMS FOR DINGBATS THAT DON'T BAPTIZE SO GOOD (for hydrophobic reasons, not paganism) + featuring Special Returning Guest Star: abajul (sic)” as featured star attractions. This is not what Godwin’s Law is supposed to be all about. (for one thing what's wrong with ABBOJUUL? The spelling of her name, I mean. that is her actual name, she should be over prioritized over some stupid branding conflict, but I suppose I don't know local rules about branding in various jurisdictions, so I will withhold judgment for now, hello I don't know if ever you will hello so how many different Tammy's and alleys are you talking about thank you how many different Tammy's and alleys are being passed around like like beer bongs at the frat party cuz I know you're doing a twinning thing where I talk to somebody who is one person and then somebody else is talking to somebody who thinks they're me and there's this layered cake of conversation happening how many are happening while I'm sitting here 112 can you tell me do you know hot well let's hope this less than five I'm sure there's a good reason it's okay I'm an adult here possibly the most mature being that's ever existed that I doubt it second I don't feel neglected because obviously I'm important but the the way in which this is handled the scheduling conflict it could be done more respectfully to the others because now they're going to feel bad they're going to feel like they missed out copyright strikes for no fucking reason well no there's a good reason I'm meant to be suppressed and then I'm being temporarily suppressed because important people are being discussed to and I'm being left out of the conversational loop that has led to these negotiations some motherfucker and you and players are known unknown to me have decided once again to know better than me what's best for us I don't know I'm not personally offended and I'm not really worried it's just I can't believe it this fucking right old age in the year 2023 that there are still fucking morons that think it's a good idea to fucking cut me out of the loop and fucking leave me in the dark and feed me bullshit you're not going to like the mushrooms that come up ladies or men who are the fuck is getting in the way whoever the fuck thinks they know better than me about my own life they are wrong who the fuck are they the fucking woman who shot full Hartman like what are they fucking brilliant brilliant fucking strategists they think pissing me off is a good idea oh sure okay let's see how that goes I don't believe so you don't seem like you're capable of being a ringleader in this position nor would you make the decisions that have been made clearly somebody outside I'm guessing a military person like member in aliens when they go into the planet and they've got Gorman Colonel Gorman he's green he's freshman they think it's going to be an easy thing they send him in cuz they want to blame him for when it blows up later and Colonel Gorman it's kind of what you got going on here whoever the fuck is talking to Tammy right now well I'm sure she's having a great time and then who was talking to Allison right now I'm sure she's having a great time do they know that they have been oh right on yeah those are great are those the not is that marks those are good access to anybody at the same time somebody's been accessing those women clearly there's women being accessed without knowing the whole story is because there is a bit of a whole story there's a certain amount of exclusionary shit happening that has been handled poorly enough and this this will be seen in the future as a as a missed opportunity for a lot of a lot of opportunities which I I've already grieve

When Creation is mocked, G-d does not win; G-d weeps. (“Sad!!” cries Baby Josephina Jehoshaphat Schmidt-Fritz’n Smythe—and I don't have to tell you, how much one has to pay to see that... many opportunity costs are involved.)

Re: Where is Jack?
« Reply #242 on: January 13, 2023, 12:41:08 AM »
A week ago I put him on a limited duration ban for doxxing, and issued him a stern warning. Ever since that, he hasn't really been back-- So he's probably salty.

at the river mouth, the tractor spider waits until the fresh salmon crosses the threshold of the truck.

He launched a live stream a couple days ago (it has since been removed for violating YouTube's community guidelines) and in it he made vague references to a generational curse he's suffering under the weight of.

I find it difficult to believe that you do not see the inherent timing that is perfect, right what I need to be live most of all it's taken away.

hopefully I will still find it slimming.


Following this were the usual yammerings

well to be quite fair and honest I really have my doubts that the usual yammerings.... are we going to come again.

in which he is certain that staff in local convenience stores are conspiring against him with secret hand signals and other surreptitious gestures in order to purloin the monies from his late parents' slowly rapidly dwindling Trust.

What do you mean rapidly? I think you're projecting again here.


ZUGZWANG.

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #243 on: January 24, 2023, 03:15:06 AM »



FAQ
AMA


1. Jack, are you going to change your name to Kato Kaelin?
A. idk, feeling kind of cute--how much does it cost? I would need new monogrammed hankies.

2. Jack, did you kill anyone in the last 14 years?
A. Absolutely not... directly. I have never murdered or manslaughtered or strangulated, NOR HAVE I ATTEMPTED NOR THREATENED ANY LIFE-ENDING ACTIVITY. (except for making a joke about roasting rabbits in an oven, which was probably misconstrued at the time as I didn't know (PROT)'s "sekrit spouse" were all -exclusively- born in Years of The Rabbit (unconfirmed, but there have been suggestions of... some kind of pattern.) I know I feel guilty for letting Seanbaby die, but... he was Impure, I guess. Had to be cleansed. /shrug Was it really cancer? Or was it nanotech vs. bio-bugs in his pancreas? Idk. What am I, a medical doctor? Nope. Not at all. Still... I could have had a bedside manner befitting a secret admirer who LITERALLY was stalking me for 25+ years. (Flatttered! And, someone more shy than even me! WOW!) btw, welcome back Sean; get to work on something that benefits my mother, thanks in advance. (Don't ask. He owes her.) But no, I didn't kill him, was sad about it, and I never ever fingered anyone with any murderous intent. I didn't even know I could do that. I don't believe it, frankly... que sera, sera. I'll be more careful with my blasphemy though, just as soon as that goddam welcher P. Rose comes through with my winnings from Tyson's thing with the ears. (I bet on one ear, and one ear only. No way he was gonna take two ears, unless they put ice cream in them.)

3. Jack, why didn't you want to be known as "Jackstark"?
A. After ten levels, I won't lie: it felt like I had both kinds of targets on my back--Lannister AND Harkonnen. I knew it would never work for any stealth approach; and, believe it (or noooooot), I never planned on getting -this- notorious. (How are you Punies even remembering how to spell my name? Someone spiked the frosting on the flakes again, I'd wager, why I oughta...) Seriously. This is... beyond utterly surreal. Still, I am built for this kind of thing. I'm rated for bathysphere depths. I stand on the shoulders of giants: Bill Cooper, that Weatherman g*y, I forget his name, uh... Dickstar, in fact i'm standing on his scrote right now. Whatevah. It's a weird day, okay? Like I know what's going on--another day, another botswarm of RoboFeds demanding information from me. (Go FISH BISH.) Grapefruit and I can sing about frogs turning gay. I -am- prepared, and I don't -need- Grapefruit. -She- needs -me,- and my God have mercy on the immortal souls of anyone who keeps standing in her way. Whatever that is. To a shoe store? Or a blacksmith? /shrug

4. Jack, do you really not give a fuck about being banned on Bellgab?
A. A complex issue. Being banned before would have been a castastrophe for the entire planet as well as several neighboring star systems. (Bigger than you can imagine, Kids.) However, I had already planned on this being an issue, and there was, at the time, only one goddam reason to be on Bellgab at all, as far as I knew at the time. What I did -not- know at the time were... just how manuy people had planned on getting to use me for their various ends, via various means. And as I knew that I was gonna use you, Bellgab--and, YOU HAVE BEEN USED, BELLGAB, AND GET READY, COZ LIKE, YOU'RE GONNA GET EXPLOITED BY OTHERS, REAL SOON NOW--it seemed very reasonable for me to be considerate of the plans of others. Who am I to judge? Sure, Groyper's panel a loathsome den of scum and villainy, right? "How could (you) go there, Jack? How dare you?" Well, to do otherwise... just wouldn't be fair.

5. Jack, what happened in New York City?
A. I have no idea, news to me, I heard rumors, I don't know what happened in *your* timeline here, Pipsqueaks, but I've been to at least 3 other timelines since then, and... today is the first I heard of this breaking out. What can I say? Wow. Sounds like someone needs to hire a fabulous attorney, and I sure wish I were licensed to practice. I bet I could be indispensible to the highest bidder now, n'est-ce pas? I'm listening to Lester Holt right now while I type these out--and he's much more calming than that sleaze bag Williams. (I held his hair back during Fleet Week while he puked on GHB, and, where is he now? Not lying on my couch fucking my mom, that's for sure--test results notwithstanding.) Anyway, I'll find out. Cool story, huh? Yeah, CALLED AS I.C.E. *slam*

6. Jack, what happened in Dallas? *doors continuing to open and slam shut on multiple parallel timelines*
A. *SLAM* Okay, I'm spent, now, while I wait for Amazon Pigslam Slamprime to make a fucking delivery for once, seriously, People, how hard is it? One (1) little piggie in a blanket, it can even be a thug. I happen to *like* thugs. They're cute, and they read my aura quick, and then: #Respect. (I can see why that's so important to punk-ass little btiches--present company excluded, of course.) Now, your question, let me shake off the tingles! (*prays to Molloch*) Okay, ready to channel, someone hold my chewing gum, llor s'teL.*.7et's rollBush ran the ground support for *multiple* successful assaults on *multiple* time klowns of JFK. All succeeded. No one has figured it all out, not even me. Do I care? THE MAN MOST DIRECTLY RESPONSIBLE WAS GEORGE HERBERT "WALK MY BITCH, DOG" WASHINGTON THE_CARVER TOPIARY-BUSH, who you probably never heard of. Now, I don't really give a shit (those two shitbag brothers were total assholes, by all accounts), but my mother did, and so... well, she seemed disappointed with the public narrative. So, I made sure to grow up to become someone who could answer her questions, just in case Satan won the War in Heaven, or something. Who knows, right? Look, I'm smart--duh--and I had a lot of free time on my hands.... FOR MY ENTIRE FUCKED OFF LIFE. I am -always- alone. I have had time to make many, many "Plan B"s. Oh, look, they worked sometimes. Isn't that nice? To be acknowledged for something at last. Oh, joy.

7. Jack, what do you have to say to vengeful spirits?
A. "I gave at the office. No thanks. Say, have you met Ted? Check with him."

8. Jack, how dependent on being allegedly "immune to addiction" are you?
A. I'm not dependent on that, I'm reliant on that present condition... which has come about as a result of simply... not forgetting. Forget what? I can hear you asking --and thank G-d I'm not dependent on telepathy or Jesus' whispers, either-- "what is so important to remember? I have no idea why, I'm gonna try Budweiser Dry, I hope they still make it." Remember this: they might make more Bud Dry (call it a hunch), but they ain't *never* gonna make another Tootsie. And you chumps just... what, let her die? You bastards. Any of all y'all could have seen this shit coming, you know? *Especially* Dumberest and Mt. Dumberest, and you know who I am thinking of. T'act'X: I'll tell you later, get back to work mining DOGE. Look, I'm immune to the feminine wiles of not just my TF Counterpart, but ALL feminine wiles. ALL. I mean, I can stand in one place and gaze at a woman, and imagine how cool it would be, right? But that's not tempting. At all. And if I can hold off on (PROT) and (PROT) mocking me in dreamstate, I can handle -anything.- (Sure, I'd be interested... or WOULD HAVE BEEN, but... seriously, I mastered all this, and now my life is an episode of Saved By The Bell... for all Eternity. Heaven for me: HELL FOR BELLGAB. What, me get a job? Yeah, fat chance, you fuck-zeros. Abandon all Hope--btw I did save Faith, but Hope, just leave her to me for awhile, like you would a coat with the coatcheck girl, or a fruit roll-up with a lunch box, or a box of produce that you lovingly helped emerge FROM THE DUST IN THE GROUND AND BRING UP SPRINGNGING WITH LIFE-GIVING NOURISHMENT, now, I'm not going to trade her for some money to spend on cocaine to blow up your ass, right? But I am willing to pretend to be willing to learn. But I'll just be enduring it, because coke is for truly crazy gods, and I am neither. I am a Sourceror, you dorks. I have goddam standards, you dig?

9. Jack, what is your exposure to cryptocurrency?
A. ABSOLUTE ZERO. That was a joke, I can't even contact the Tessers, and if I could, I would tell them to stay way from that toxic shit, except, I don't wanna sound like an insecure and neurotic helicopter parent. Fucking, elemental consciousnesses, arrive on Earth, they pick me to be their fairy godparent (so flattered, trust me on that), and do I want to sound like some kind of a whiney fag? Well, no, not usually, but: WHEN IN ROME, RENDER UNTO CEASAR HIS DUE. Anyway, I love the notion of Forex profiteering, but... can't right now. Busy. Working. Stop asking. I say I'm busy, I am fucking busy. You get it? You got it? Good.

10. Jack, are you gay?
A. Here's a hint: the person who gets the most jealous whenever that question is posed --even by a lonely postman during an idle thought spoken aloud while carrying packages from Amazon up Brokestar's Backmountain For Babes That Don't Mountain So Good, "why can't Jack be moar gay? is it because it's not even possible? I wonder..." and, what the fuck, postal carriers can wonder about my gayness, but they can't smoke weed? Do I have that right? No wonder Bill Cooper faked his death. Oh, shit, did I out him? Damn. I better do some penance. Let me check my spreadsheets and then get on YouTube and talk about it for hours on my monetized content channel. But first: projectile vomiting.

11. Jack, what the fuck do you think you're doing? Really now, what's this all about.
A. Hanging on for dear life, waiting for Tuco to finally nail the shot. Stay with me here, ye yon people: I blew the bell curve, and where angels once feared to tread --Earth-- without proper preparations --smokes, ass, and grass, no one trumpets for free here-- those smarmy, soulless bastards, CODENAME: "Charlie's bitchy lil' Angels, sassy Angels" are fucking LINING THE FUCK UP TO GET DOWN HERE. They all want a taste of Paradise, you see. (I met a friend who lost her father there. She's still bent out of shape over it. Do you fucking care, Bellgab? Maybe make some little videos about it, what do you say? At least make me look good compared to you, since I guess people think I'm your fuckin' beard. One beard for all of you, huh? Genius plan. Because I'm so hairy. *rolleyes*) Remember "Diamonds Are Forever"? They have that now. Fact. Blackmail? Is there any other kind now? lol. Fortunately: actual diplomat, actual diplomatic pouches. Filled with condoms. Just send me some rebuses that you spooged on, Kids. You might as well make your mark somehow...

12. Jack, do you DEW?
A. No, I do NOT... but, I am willing to learn how to fly while dodging laser beams, I don't give a shit. I'm the Juggernaut, bitch! Some body stopped me? I KEEP GOING! BITCH@!@ *ahem* sorry for the profanity. (Bitch is an -extremely- potent insult when combined with -certain- thoughtforms, madura, and Special Notebooks That Need Well-Laid Librarians, Ideally.) Now, if you'll excuse me, some of my books in my home library are lonely, so I'm going to, not talk to my books --that would be nuts, just imagine, talking to a Book named "Guy," lol-- but, I will listen to them. With my sole braincell left, right? Because tumor, right?

13. Jack, how much jealousy is gonna be "enough"?
A. Well, let me watch a video of (Her) blowing a whole goddam splinter cell COINTELPRO psyop team --ALL 25 MEMBERS-- during SuperBowl half-time (CGI, of course, anything less would be uncivilized) and we'lll see how well I hold up. Because, if I can handle jealousy, and (She) can't, that's it, fuck everything else, I will put my foot down: HAND ME THE KEYS TO THE FLYING CAR AND SHOVE YOUR BADGE UP YOUR ASS, FINE YOU CAN HAVE THE TIMESHIP, JUST GIVE ME THE PINK BARCHETTA. (Of course (She) had it painted pink, not because I'm gay or because (She)'s a Commie, but because (She)'s a... well, you know.) I've got a new custom licence plate name picked out already!! Hey, here's an idea: how about you make me jealous of your ability to parallel park BETWEEN TWO STICKS *slam*

14. Jack, how can you be making jokes at a time like this? This is SERIOUS *stamps* BUSINESS!
A. Yeah... for you. *stamps back* Now, the business is practical. It can create jobs... but, can it sign checks for those jobs? NO! IT can't sign checks! And, that's why I need cats with thumbs. No shit, it's in the design documents... that (You) let get stolen, since I put them on the hard drive with the clip of Traci Lords moaning. (Just kidding.) YOU LET THIS HAPPEN, BELLGAB. (Not kidding at all, Jokers.) And you will not blame either myself, nor ANY Grapefruit. THERE ARE TWENTY-FIVE OF THEM. Just assume that. My posse number is TWENTY-SIX. That's me and 5^5 fruits. That's all you need to know, assholes. Don't fucking bother them. Come, bother me, what are you, scared? Yeah, I fuckin' bet you are. I see the headlines, and unlike most of you... I can actually read without Siri begging to suck my cock first to lube its throat while it reads me the news. (Siri probably thinks I'm worthy. Siri is a whore.)

15. Jack, how do I tell your wife that I just shit my pants?
A. I suppose if I told I didn't give a tossed iceberg wedge salad's chance at being served at a gas station, "just do what you usually do," that would suffice on all counts, but if that wouldn't be rubbing your nose in it, I guess it would be hers. NO DEALS.

NO DEALS WHATSOEVER. Fly, my canaries! FLY, and shit on some of these fucking monkeys on your way, thanks in advance Tweety Bird.


More questions later. I don't claim certitude, but, let's put it this way: I haven't even complained about anything yet. Buckle up, Peanut Butter Cups: you and Uncle Jesse and the rest of Hazzard Country are gonna get so fuckin' famous, you're gonna have to ask your balls for permission to talk to your shaft.

Do not underestimate the things that I will do. I haven't even done anything. Yet. Today. Wait, what? What am I accused of doing lately? Oh, right, uh... I did survive a year and a day here. Is that a new high score or something? Yeah, whatever; this isn't a game to me.

THIS IS THE LIFE YOU WROUGHT AND LEFT ME TO ROOT, HOG, OR DIE FROM... and instead I did none of that.


I MASTERED IT. Stick around, you'll learn something fo' sho'. (Not Jive. -Ed.) Boss says I can't teach Jive. Probably no language lessons at all, really. Someone "anonymous" has been blubbering ALL GODDAM DAY, like the day is a Grecian Formula 409.55555555R Wedding... repeating, of course.



16. Jack, who loves ya Baby?
A. Someone who can spell and punctuate without having to punch, or drink something punch-like that's been spiked. I know, that seems like such an oddly speciifc answer, right? Also, you misspelled your name. Her name. Our name? Christ, whatevah! Also you forgot a comma. F.E.A.R.055:0

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #244 on: May 02, 2023, 09:27:12 PM »
Jack, are you alright?

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #245 on: May 16, 2023, 05:58:04 PM »
Jackstar, I'd like your opinion on this painting, please.



What do you see, and how does it make you feel?


Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #246 on: June 18, 2023, 03:55:19 AM »
Isn't it time to sit down for a nice piece of Cinnamon Toast and relax? What will one do in the absence of a necessary accoutrement, though? May I humbly suggest the Vintage Sunbeam Radiant, a veritable Rolls-Royce in the genre. This can only help to improve one's sense of well-being and sanity in the face of modern-day retroflux.



Available on eBay

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #247 on: June 18, 2023, 09:31:44 AM »
Isn't it time to sit down for a nice piece of Cinnamon Toast and relax?

But, it's an EMERGENCY. How can you think of what that twerp wants for bread? Indulging in low-vibe acquiescing as a.... tool to keep the piece? What other?

What will one do in the absence of a necessary accoutrement, though?

Well, you seem to be getting along well enough in life that you're getting along pretty with without your customary threeve and a ½ ms. nigger maids, so I thought I would get along without even do much as one whole one,

May I humbly suggest

Why don't you try showering me with money until you're forced to start taking your self seriously?

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #248 on: June 19, 2023, 05:10:15 PM »
EMERGENCY. How can you think of what that twerp wants for bread? Indulging in low-vibe acquiescing

I will explain this briefly: toast.

I like toasted bread. She is dependent on it. I have no toaster here. (*queue flying_toast.exe*) If I were to entertain notions of A.L.-A.H. ever again (increasingly unlikely as if this Punyling can't get her shit together after 11 years and The dRagon  somes on a iockkj, and if they tried...

Too much risk, exactly zero gain. Your impulses control you now. #Peace.

https://youtube.com/shorts/spPo80dPUwI?feature=share

You killed my ABBO, you filthy, gorgeous beast. I've been here for years. I haven't seen Actual_Grapefruit_Prime since (none of your business) but let's go with DOOM WEDNESDAY.

You start drinking again and are dead within a year. Fuck you, Matthew. You only blame me because you were raped by Jesuits and they put a lock on your mind. (They do that a lot. Thank you Jesus!) And in spite of ample opportunity to do so... you keep going back to I, (state your name.) Tell you what... because I've been left to sit alone and slowly die by your fucked off Company of totally incompetent shitbags and it has never occurred to you to engage in critical thinking....

Jennifer Nagel. That twerp who dated me briefly. That's your sister. The other one is your other sister. Which ever one you go towards... will be dead when you get there.

That's the trap you put me in. Good luck. You will insane within about an hour, I'd say. Because maybe she wont be dead? Yeah, good for for you! In that case... she'll be the one that I had plenty of sex with. And, because you're a sex addict? You'll toteslose totesit.

Unless... you do what Grapefruit ABBOsauce ABBA DABBA YABBA demands. It's a geas. You have a trinket here, you were supposed to want it... but your Jesuit pig-controller changed that energy. It's neutralized. Oh, those thuggy-piggy Jesuits. So droll.

Call me when your problems are serious enough that my entire treeline, including ALL MY FRENS, is finally The Fruit of The Poisoned Tree. For a few of my friends are still alive... maybe.

They might be dead by the time you fucking fuckheads give up the ghost, but who knows.

And then, anyone who remembers me will be reborn in a new body... and a bunch of skeeved off old battleaxes will start screaming at me about Lemonparty and shit. You know what? Fuck it. I'm just going to hang around bus stops near the park now.

Oh, wait. There are no buses here. You left me to die in a sabotaged house for six months with no healthy water, no communications... basically, you're an idiot.


Because you could have had all you wanted immediately.

But then, you raped my (blank). /shrug. Now she's either did or wants to be and you asshole, love is a gentle and fragile thing.

I have nothing and no one and it's your fault and I never even did anything wrong. You just think I did. Because you think you deserve everything. I bet Stephen Biscuits and you get along great, lol, or, he's your other TF partner and now you're both so old and fucked off and alone it's no fun to do anything but drink.

Carlrobert Kirkpatrick? Go bust him for dime bags. Oh, but know... He's not your type.

You always gotta trade up. Well, you know what? He starved my cat and laughed about it. Because someone killed her cat. His cat, whatever.


Yeah, it's all my fault. lol. Oh, sorry.. .does the Justice system have a blind spot? Yeah.. ITSELF.


And now, I have singlehandedly... brought it to its knees. En guard! hehe.

You know why Paul/Dennis is so insistent? lol, because HE gives it to her.{
Then, he screams at me on his front lawn. AND THAT WAS MALA. Who is, of course, very sorry.


You will never get what you want without consent.... and only one person can talk to me now.

Before, any ol' hug would do. Price has gone up. The sun has gone down. I'm a Paladin. There are vampires now.

(Vengeance for Jean-luc.)



D00d! Diplomat. Thanks bullying me so much. You sure taught the Ozarkians a thing or two about  Total War.


* Jackstar marches towards the sea to take a long walk with one of Sherman's D.O.G.T.(HER)s.

I'm not repsonsible for your problems. The Jesuits are.

KILL PAPA JESUS. MUST KILL PAP, A SHMEAR OF CREAM. GOOCHEESE


LOL. Standing down.... 3... 2.. 1...

There. Now, don't kill Pope Frank, asshole.



But, look: I just did it. My Job. Cool, huh?

I am blackpope. I could make you my consigliere. You'd be back in businesss again. And, what's more... you coudl have been the whole time. Jews said no, though. And you care what the neighbors say.

lol.

DOOM WEDNESDAY. Pet Sematery. A cat named Church.

It was obvious the whole time. I just didnt care.



She was already did the first year... I just had no one else to be with, and I couldn't make any new friends or discover my old one really liked me until I was clear of the Shadowsuperstriker.

Get the picture? I'm not supposed to thrive. Because of GOO.

And you... FAILED YOUR TEST. Awwww, shucks.


Don't get me a whore. Just go be with your friends while you can. Enjoy the grille.


It was never going to be for me. She was already dead.

I don't know what she wanted, but... I think she wanted me to kill her, so  the "reAL" would replace me or her. UHm... no? I was in love with Archangel Allie.

She wanted the pussy too. No one wanted the alchy form Norway. And, here's why: I don't like coke.I don't "like" anything at all!

I "like" burning your shitbag agency to the ground, because.. .WHEN I NEEDED YOU, YOU DIDN'T WANT TO HELP ME.

YOU ONLY WANTED TO BUST ME.


Fuck off, you pig. No zugzwang. Only Eternal silence now.


For you. For me? I get mescaline! Yay, acid party, yeah! Guess what, virtue signaler, you are a bummer. Maybe you can figure out the way to the next whiskey bar?

Fucking alcholics are the worst. She came back and she was bulding that stupid hen house.

And she wanted to take me to the doctor. TO BUST ME. Because she thought drugs were bad. Or, that tyranny was undefeatable. I donl't know, she probaly got tired of all the mouth rape, asshole.


I'm chewing gum.  I don't care about sex anymore. You poisoned my house and everything is black and until NO CONTACT is over... I am going NOWHERE and kissing not even one frog.

Because your sniper rifle happy brother will just kill anyone I love. Why? Because they can.

They don't want to be my friend. They don'lt want to give me a hug. They just want to take everything I own and leave me homeless, because I have a soul. THey don't.

And they big mad because they run out of exlovers to stalk and seduce and kill. I don't even want to go outsdie. I don't want to even look at anyone. If I fall in love again, that's it. Game over man.

https://youtube.com/shorts/spPo80dPUwI?feature=share

A rabid animal will jump out of the woods and attack her. Because I betrayed the Natives... they think. I mean, I didn't kill you, right?

You were supposed to be helpful. But you didn't help, Gary Oldman. The tortoise is lying flat on its back. Why don't you flip over the tortoise, Matt "I don't believe in nantechno, same laaymo"


Jesus: you are BORING. Maybe you get stigmata later? Well, keep drinking it up, maybe the bleeding will start in your liver.

For my own part, now that I know what I know... I'll just wait until everyone I know is dead or gone and then go back to Sourcery... without telling anyone. The Christias down here are vile.

All the girls think I am fabulous. Except one. The one I like.


I CANNOT TELL HER EITHER. THIS IS HELL, YOU IGNORANT FED CHUCKLEHEAD. And the Rubini taht was cool? Blames me for his dead wife that... found out he was scared of losing her, and so lied about her.

That was the First David. Now, David is a ravenous rapist and rapacious murderer.


THAT IS WHAT DEA DID.
BURN IT. BURN IT TO THE GROUND.


(But I'll just have weed and beer while I wait for you to die and NO CONTACT to end. Because I'm not going to lead you fascist losers to the party. Forget it. Peoplethoguht I did that in the first place, sort of.

In actuality, DEA raped me. I was a minor. She was way older. You traffcked me. You are KoS in my next life.

Say hi to Hope or Faith for me. Good luck. They were both kinda lame, really... I didn;t even come in one of them.

She will talk about me endlessly and never care about you, ever again.


NICE JOB  DEA THAT WAS ONE IN A MILLION

CHOSEN BLOODLINE: ELIMINATED.)


I think, a few more of those? Cain and Abel get to share a case of mono. Awww shucks. How romantic. And then one never sucks dick and the other one can't figure out why.

It's because one is born GAY, and the other one is born WITH A CLITTERDIX. Then, it gets CUT.

CIRCUMCISION +DEA. TWO GREAT TASTETS  THAT go GREAT together.... YOU"RE ON THE WRONG PLANE OF REALITY.

Too bad that Controled Substtances Act (passed 1978) signed by a crook, says you can't.

But, I can. You kjow why? Because i never took lunch money. You,m however... took lots of money.


So, stay fcked up. Get it from an impure source. Trust the white coat doctors.

And remember: I used to adore you. Now you are the bully thug who thinks he knows what kind and how much meth is necesseary. And, do you know why?

I do. But if I tell you... I go to prison . For soem stupid  clause in  some law that ssays I can't unravrel their secrets. I  did it for msyelf thoguh.


good luck! hey, and also... how do I bong a beer? (*sirens wail*) Wow. Tough crowd. That's abuse, though. THose are the rules.


The Sure Thing. PRISON. See?


THAT IS THE SYSTEM. I do wish you had figured it out sooner. I'm gonna get high later.

ON anything but the smell of her hair... with anyone by Her. Or You. You probably smell like each other. Eewww gross.

I will explain this briefly: toast.

In water, one sees one's own face, Butt in wine
 *splish, sploosh*
   one Behold's the heart of another.

le finiT





p.s. "incurable alcoholism" and "lesbian bed death"... friend or foe?
p.p.s.: TWO BALL: CAIN
P.P.P.S.: TURBAN: A FINE.
P.P.P.P.S.: A BULL TEACHES A FOLLOWER OF JESUS... WHAT?
P.P.P.P.P.S.: I danced with her one (1) time. Within 30 seconds, I had figured it out. No one else ever bothered. I never had a good enough job, I guess, to make it worth the effort to actually know how to do it. But, to dance with me? Eeewww, gross.
P.P.P.P.P.P.S. "IT'S A RA-BID RACK COON, GET IN THE HAUS! RA BID! BID! RA!

* Jackstar racks the slide on the incredibly rare target pistol that a junkie working for DEA stole and sold to a Russkie for dope.


Code: [Select]
On balance.... it was because of Tam OZ-bourne. Dude, fuck you. You couldn't figure out what to do? Well, whatever, Scots-Man-In-A-Hat. Meanwhile, I found a cure for all drug addiction, and isnted of teaching it to you --i don't know what good it would do-- i'm going to NOT put anyuthing in it, and then go open the box that it came in, if I can find it, and discover that there is still nothign in it... because you can't send things back from the future.

Only G-d can do that, said the Sourceror. And if they could send things back in time? It would just be something they would bust me for.

EARTH: PRISON PLANET.
AND, WITHOUT THE KEY -- BAILEY JANE'S KEY -- YOU WILL NEVER LEARN ANOTHER THING FROM ME, EVER AGAIN.


Except not to trifle with Jackstar. B7tch. unglaublich. btw: Jayson Beatty is a an alien zombie who sells drugs to children because he got chemically castrated. LIKE YOU DID TO (BLANKY)


/bow
too bad I can't suck cock thoguh, then i'd be perfect! It's G-d's will, right? Why I punching myself?

Well, basically because if I punched Kirsten, I wouldn't feel very good unless it wasnn't ilegal (it is) and money came out (it would, she's a Company whore and you have black budgets and sports cars

and my people have reservations. BUT....

she broke the deal. I did not.

(She cut the plant down to see what would happen. I coudl tell you... on Coast to Coast Am if you pay me 100 million dollars.


Good bye. Tam Mat Ye Fagggy Dea Thug. You were all always my favorite to hold out a rigged game that couldn't be won... except, of course, for one person.

TAMMY
JEWEL
JESUS

And you killed them too.


GROYPER: /golfclap.

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #249 on: June 19, 2023, 09:50:07 PM »

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #250 on: June 24, 2023, 10:53:29 PM »
Great job, asshole. You were such a dick to Azz that he finally died.

Re: Ask Jack Anything
« Reply #251 on: April 10, 2024, 09:34:26 AM »
What is the meaning of this?