Letters To Future Greatfield {DO NOT OPEN WHINE BEFORE {ITS) TIME}

[AZZERAE]

I WILL GO TO GODDAM LAW SCHOOL

Try.

[Jackstar]

Try.

Finished. *shoves paper with calligraphy at you* It was an elective on Asgard.

Now, it's practical.

[AZZERAE]

[AZZERAE]

I don't know what that means

It means you're a faggot and you're gonna get AIDS in jail.

I hope it hurts while you sit around and contemplate the consequences of your past choices.

Too bad. It doesn't.

[AZZERAE]

I don't care that you could have made shit loads of money off of my creative efforts and now will forever get bupkis. I don't know who is running your shit show efforts, but you've soured the talent, and I will never be happy with any of you sad, mopey, boring and dull lot ever again. You could have just told me. Lots of things. But, no.

There has been a new development regarding your mission which we must now communicate to you. Months ago a man was ordered on a mission which was identical to yours. We have reason to believe that he is now operating with █████. ███████ was carrying him MIA for his family's sake. They assumed he was dead. Then they intercepted a letter he tried to send his wife:

SELL THE HOUSE
SELL THE CAR
SELL THE KIDS
FIND SOMEONE ELSE
FORGET IT
I'M NEVER COMING BACK
FORGET IT

[AZZERAE]

from: readyforthegeeknee@gmail.com
to: azzerae@gmail.com
date: Oct 14, 2023, 1:26 AM
subject: THIS WAS HALF OF ONE EMAIL. (HAVE IT IN HELL/OWN IT IN HEAVEN) THE WINNER WAS THE DOG THAT YOU FED YOUR SAUSAGE TO, THE LOSER IS THE GUY WHO HAS TO FINISH THE OTHER EMAIL: MEHI.KUCZI.HIME (5min±nowEATher, IDGAF–I'M NOT LETTING THAT WOMAN LIE TO ME AGAIN, I'M NOT LETTING ANY OF THE SEVEN ANYWHERE NEAR YOU—All I want to do is cry, live 17 more minutes and die, not for you: this is for your mother, 🙏 Blank Jane Doe 🙏 you're in The Matrix, b****, You suck your father's rapists brother's dick every night on primetime TV too, good job, oh yeah IYI was a much better idea than just... I forget actually. I'll send you the email from February? How about that? You haven't been able to have a real fun time yet either.) ILMLAAWI, It's too bad she's f****** illiterate, I bet either ΩAli or Ωẞet could tell (PROT) which KMM is DMM and which is KÆK, but I'm not doing this again and I don't think John Carmack is going to do IT either, as well, too, OR EITHER AS WHEN IN LIEU EITHER OF T

{The email you sent me from February is relevant here but I'm not going to send it because I'm f****** tired of this s***, Doe, do you know who I am?} That was why she just left. You have no idea who you are. You just know ythat I'my terrible... Because your mother's rapist told you so. YYYXX¡¡$

Sailey Gane—I'm told most choose death. That was six, I don't remember who's next.

I'll probably decide to die. I've already had sex with your mother like 80 or 90 times. I gave up on her a long time ago. Here's what happens: every time you.... Go away
Bailey Jane: Okay well I don't think that should count but I guess it does. That was five. Wow if the rest are as short as that it won't take long, I doubt that's the only reason.
This email has tracking software and it obviously works pretty well, not well enough to f****** find me and rescue me, apparently you can't possibly know where I live apparently You can't possibly know my phone number Oh wait I got your number now I'll call you when I get out of the bathroom. No not pooping I'm just sitting here. Alone.
I don't think you understand the deals you make.
But I understand this: someone else is going to start... and you'll remember real quick then.
I want to go Home. 8808 Barnes is not a home, it's a f****** nightmare. Maybe we better this time... TALK F*** WE'RE FRIENDS I SAW YOU 10 YEARS AGO IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT SOMEBODY DID SOMETHING TO YOU SERIOUSLY TORTURE ME FOR THAT?

It wasn't even me. Bye

Word. (WELL IT'S EITHER HER FATHER OR HER SON OR SOMEONE NAMED JASON OR SOMEONE NAMED JAYSON, AND IF YOU HADN'T F***** HALF THE POPULATION OF TEXAS ALREADY, I COULD NARROW IT DOWN FURTHER.)BF very worth. Also: wroth. Can't blame, for even with good news — I of course meant what I implied — it is still the case:

ME/Him. HUMILIATION NOT INTENDED, yet “Scusi, mille regretie” ain't cuttin’ any mustard.

My sympathy is quite boundless.

Do not use this man. He is an Angelic conduit and consort and holy crap monkeys, is he ever pissed. I don't blame him one fucking bit.

He and I will come to terms in due course as Men do. For example, during palaver, when he learns how I have come to know what I know, we shall all be Eternally grateful I shall not break any confidence.

As I said: as Man does.

I lack spare time. For now I can supply the following:

1. A. Is full-on Fallen. Beware.
2. I am the Prime Nemesis of the ♂️⚧️group you are allied with. They have rights that MUST be respected. They would likely prefer to not be entangled—as would I. (I cri ever TYME.) I seek de-esc-elation and  harm-on-knee, yet the matter is really only important to you. (Blood feuds are serious business.)
3. Father, Jason, and I are your Masters. You do not get to choose. (Clearly you have chosen enough lately.) You are nit I. Trouble. You are nit going to prison.
4. You are “possessed” by a trickster Spirit. (Looks good in you though. Start pounding bone broth.) This will be easily dealt with at a future time. I suggest Taoism, Buddhism, or strict Gnostic celibacy. Avoid Islam—for you have already surrendered to J and I allowed that to occur. (I like him. I am his friend—though he is not mine. MEGA ENRAGEMENT.) Thus beyond personal bias, I am duly-bound to be On Duty.
(Like it or not, COMMAND(HER). Scion is safe. Angel at risk but he is spry and discipline suits him well. I am relieving him of your geas; silly chopperhead, USAF and Craft do not mix. Milly Copperhead: message rcv’d yet not understood; TELL MOM THE TRUTH OR I WILL. You have nothing to fear from her and the trickster Spirit has deliberately befouled our bonds.) I don't think any of you even need a paycheck—start attempting to bribe me, that way it will not arouse undue suspicion when you just straight up buy a goddam indulgence. (You're gonna need one with calligraphy, you damned junky slyt.)
5. Kit sold his soul to get in that box. WTF. Kids today, goddam. I am on point with that. Pray for his stupid racist ass because this is NOT how I wished for anyone to spend their Autumn. Grumble ³.
6. Your Mother is under ægis now and you have no idea how much trouble she is in. Hint: both Daves scared white of me and Dennis is now my literal bitch. (I'm a fucking zookeeper now? Heat, Her, and Che mos def nit now and I am immune, and it is your goddam lucky day, because I'm not here for carnal treasure or to defend your virtue; and you are NOT my offspring. Cherish Jason Michael Mike Meier Sune for as long as possible because he is not gonna stay as long as you wish and no one is happy about that.) And like I obvs am, urmo is a huge goddam liar.
7. Scott Black is a Revenant with one singular purpose &
—it is vile. Send him my way when feasible and show no fear. All wimpy bark, zero job bite, toxic acid for blood, can possess your father at certain *select* intervals and I am certain we all of us would rather be sucking Satan’s cock in Hell than be stuck with that. (I can't even hug it out with  him, it is the basic nightmare. Except worse because Mom will lose her soul to spiritual annihilation.) A fine mess, as they say. And I rated as lacking, huh? TLS/DMM are gonna love SUPERMAX, and of course we will visit, once the Lecter masks are sufficiently bedazzled with little featheredbeaded ducks and little ratchet bunnies on them.
8. CWC is now your assigned Guardian and if he so much as considers harming ANY of My or Our or Your interests I will literally kill him stone cold dead. Stop all subterfuge. Kiddo, be as the Lily’s in the field — your grandma has actually shat a ratfuckline nest into the lingerie drawer and I guess she's got a bit of a grudge. (Tough shit Babs. By the way your other child is fucking your other other child and has for a long time — I am horrified by your genomic expression and am at 0\55/45 baseline Tammer Drowner Mary Skipfuck K-K-kill. “Born gay.” You know I know I am not lying, that hosebeast was not born, that she-devil was fuckin‘ *hatched.* Semper fi. Send Tink A.S.A.F.P. with Morris the Jaguar & 99 lives like jaeger.
9. NEVER DO DMT WITHOUT MY PERMISSION EVER AGAIN. NEVER DO DMT WITHOUT MY PRESENCE ON-SITE, EVER, FOREVERMORE AS LONG AS WE BOTH SHALL LIVE. TOTES SHUT IT DOWN.
10. DO OR NOT DO AS I SUGGEST; DO AS THOU WILT IS THE WHOLE OF YOUR LAW, AND THAT IS IT AND ALL ANYONE CAN SAY TO THE LIKES OF YOU.

Ye ewe and thine ilk. /smdh

Your alternatives to My oversight and Authority are now essentially this: NOTHING.

Or: can stop you from physical orgasm forever, Eternally for forever. No doubt the notion fills all who pause to consider the notion with choked back tears, some no doubt in the flavor of laughter.

(David: our Empire is fated to be. Me and You. Five hours primetime network-ready plus pay-per-view exclusive after watershed chinwag... IS NOW SECURED AS OUR TOTAL DOMINION. TOTAL IMMUNITY FROM ANY AND ALL CIVIL, CRIMINAL, & ESPECIALLY SPIRITUAL LIABILITY, FOR EITHER OF US, IN PERPETUITY. I DON'T JUST PROMISE THIS:

I CAN FUCKING GODDAM MOTHERFUCKING GUARANTEE IT: IL PAPA IS ON BOARD. (He says "that abbolimelyon Co. hoorcocakooco-kunt not only refused to swallow, she spat on the The Ring *and* my newest crimson slippers when I asked if she was pretending pretending she could actually refuse or if she was just pretending to not be a whore. I wanted her dead but I think you and David together can teach the world the lessons in humility that are REQUIRED by Divine Law.”) I know EXACTLY what is kanly here. What is meant by this: I own Thunderdome, and her immortal soul belongs to Thunderous gaydayray, dardomey Kay, FagFæFagé Dancing Fencing Efgelird Shrewish Shiksa Whore Hey Pound Me Too: Breaking in  LIVE over OUR OWN FULL OG ORIGINAL CONTENT ANY TIME WE WANT TO: ELECTION + CITY BEAT+ BUGGED & FUCKIN IN THE LOO TOO.

Kuczi⁴ ewetron mimick Kev Vaughn roasthedged with knick-knacks & an A&10 battlewagon, right here for real, David, and no joke, I care a lot. Jackstar cares.

But only Kuczi could, and did DELIVER.

11. THE STATUS OF OUR HOLY TRIUMVERATE IS ABSOLUT PERMANENT LEGEND. And I am in love with the whole grand lot of Us. My life is already over, yet my Apotheosis has only just begun.

BJD: This *should* work. Call me 24/7 for literally any reason, forever and anyone who even twinges a hInt if lime green can be INSTANTLY HIT BY S.L.A.P.P.

EXCEPT me, *polite* nigger. Do not consult your attorney. You know this is true. And I know that what we have is forever.

DVcR, DVnR, Victor, Morton, Howe, Dave Fagly Timber Ace, Brinkley, HoagieZ-labs, ABD GEORGE: “GEZZY JEY & THE JAZZY JESUITICAL NOR EVANGELICAL III TIME CORPS FOUR JEWISH GABB.AI SECTS FIVE EYES BULLETPROOF NEIN KIDDING NEIN JOKE NEIN JUST A HUNGRY ICONOCLASTFAUX CLASSY FALSE GODGOD AT ALL... ET. AL. that T and J a solid half a foot of real working man cock that actually functions" is truly what I have wrought of the fucked off mess that you barren, perverted freaks turned my life into... and, my hand to G-d, it is 100% totesreal.

GUARANTEED WITH
PAPAL INFALLIBILITY as a fuckin’ gravy topping and rainbow sprinkles. Behold the power of The Kuczi Advantage.

Bails: Your skepticism is fair. So is your complexion. Yeah, right, sure thing nigger, we ain't married. Massive dynamic rolleyes.

Squaw: If you ever lie to me again about anything, even so much as how many cookies you scarfed up at lunch, I will pluck out your eye and fuck the orbital socket while sucking out the aqueus humerus the way you should have wanted to suck out my essence: gratefully and with great relish. I will only say it once; Elder Tribal Council says this is your ACTUAL one shot at full redemption and I am your War Den Master. Cry silent and let slip your sisters to be arrayed as my chattel and my hoors. Push me too far even once and I'll be slamming crystal with Bethany & Skids on mothafuckin' Nickelodeon while Dan Schneider programs timeslots for a Charlie Brown Town Wet T-Shirt After school special ON THE DAILY.

TEST ME NOT. Gabrielle and Frank literally wish I would just set you to roast at a luau as one would a suckling pig—even the kids are hungry at this point, and if Jack put the apple in her mouth, well...

*sigh* But I love you, Hay Ze Elle, Ally KhatLot-Ty2 Dingbat Ballgrape Fruitfuckingfucker Jr. II. I have no choice. Everything I have done in my life has all been for you and JUSTICE EYE TWO.

Give me just one fucking reason and I gut you like Yellowstar would if Uriah still let her hold a knife. (They are one cute couple if you ask me. Don't.) I can get past allllll this and more, if you can : you will probably get a Carmen Ghia.

Start offering me for stud to your people. 50K in ironclad crypto per baby batter spurt, at the minimum. (These are friend prices.) You need money and I need a reason to masturbate.

And to the public, for which I can be said to proudly stand, it won't look good for you to still be around without a plausible reason. Also: strangle your mother to death TONIGHT. And it has to be TONIGHT. Just kidding. Hang the bitch upside down for a month so the gerbils and otters she keeps as counsel make a break for the sun out of her fetid, vacant cooze.

Ruby: I meant what I said. Get your Angelic Host in line, my Liege. Hell’s fury now has a name, and it IS us: JACKSTAR.

WINTER, Gnawz Ja, Kadence, J. Mow Lawns & Chuckles Buckles Under Pressure Too: no electric bugs in your poo.

Cinnamon and I fucking mean it, every single word—come with us if you want to live, and I will share all the secrets of the ways of O.R.M.U.S. and Source Prime Creator Energy Master with your rag-tag rebell yellin’ fucked in the head racist bigot crypto fascist jewdomaw  faggotry people.

I've taken a bit if a shine to you drooling morons. Totes doeba! Keep Ben away from me or I will kill him with my own bare hands and feed him to his garem if rapes butchws as stew.

Y, her name was Jew Elle tu-tu. ∆Tammer and her sPoWn are mine. MIND.

I swear to you all that this will be my vow: Death to Washington, Justice for all, and we are all in Jefferson—SKY HIGH HOUSE NAGA LUXURY LIVING FELLATE A WHOLE ENTIRE GIBBON SO SAY WE ALL RIGHT GODDAM NOW.

(And aLSO all ABBOJUUL. For I have single-handedly fukted your ARRuby xOw Deep STAÇI State... just you fukkKing wait and see, just exactly WHAT Ab. kT. ßA. SOURCERŒR, can do now that I own your Engine, Goblin, en∞GN KN≠OW ME=CH AD.ME=)¡Kⁿ

Ew!

(THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD DO ABOUT IT THE FIRST TIME. THEN IT HAPPENED AGAIN. SO THEN I TOOK CARE OF IT.

THEN THERE WAS NOTHING I COULD MAKE HAPPEN THE SECOND FIRST TIME IT HAPPENED AGAIN.

If I can't bend the will of heaven, I could move hell.
And if I couldn't move hell, I could build heaven on earth, alternately I could just get your daughter out of hell and leave you there. Obviously, this was not ideal.

If this goes on... God will come down again. Divine Intervention(s) HAVE LITERALLY ALREADY OCCURRED , HAVE YOU NOT HEARD?

NOW YOU'VE LOST MICHAEL.
NOW YOU'VE LOST MICHEAL.
NOW YOUR DAUGHTER GETS HER TURN... WHO?
OH, YOU FORGOT YOU HAD A DAUGHTER?
P🅿️ WELL THEN YOU'RE HARDLY GOING TO MIND IF SHE F**** MY DICK THEN, LOL🤺🛡️🅿️

HAIL SATA N.
HELL NO ME⁵SAGE
HAIL SATA NMEC HAD.(one lineup hail CIA one line down Satan would you? might take care of CIA... God has asked me to ask you if you would do three more, I don't know what that means sir No I'm not worshiping you sir sir ma'am sir or ma'am I didn't know that Yeah I'm down bored cancel Satan)
HAÆIL SATAN. TWO LINES UP TOP OF PAGE BEGINNING OF EMAIL AND THE WAY WE GO WHERE WE GO WHEN WE GO OFF″
.
.
¡...õL3!³″·
HAIL GNOM ECHA D.
HAIL GNOO RYDA D.🖼️🔕🎐
HAIL RADA DAD.
HAIL DIDO DAD.
HAIL KAT. DONT DODA CHAD INST EAD, EATmikNOWheacHcÆÆc¹aCl{/¡\} WONcimTA¥μÆBbΩ³3 DODA T’CHUⁿ⁰-ⁿ⁰mYESⁿ⁰N∅ ⁿ⁰nÔ CHADgⁿ⁰mEvER, EVE.EVE.YE⁵.GĪⁿ∅,CHAD⁴L⅒I¹oneth,gnomeFORchad,CHAD.SI.LILY≈👁️☢️🐾🅿️🅰️🦃🪐✅🧊🤴🧭,LOOK@THAT🪐CARG🕳️O.⁰♟️🅰️🤴💯🅿️🐝☢️😻🥩☢️🐯🥓☢️🦁🍗☢️🥩🐝☢️🐝🦃☢️🗼🤺🥩☢️🏎️mic=mikE≈DEAlll
RadCatGuy=is=KûçZĪmichealBOTHrMEAT3D, EAT YOUR MILK AND 🐝WITH☢️😻🥩🅰️🎤🗝️
(Listen up f**** and listen good This is not the time to interrupt with my communications You don't have authorization You're not God even if you were God's more polite about it and you reading this is a very bad idea because it's not directed to you it's not for you it's not about you—JAMES ANDREW HUNT, JASON MICHAEL WHO, I NEED A LEANNE WHAT? BENJAMIN THOMAS RADFORD WHY? HEY JAMES ANDREW HUNT YOU HAD YOUR F****** CHANCE. I'M GOING TO FINISH THIS I'M GOING TO MAIL IT I'M GOING TO F****** TAKE A S*** AND THEN I'LL TALK TO YOU LATER. I DON'T GIVE A S*** IF YOU'RE AN EXPENSIVE MASON F***** YOU'RE NOT INVOLVED. I WAS JUST... RECOGNIZED YOU

GLORIA, YOU SWING BACK AROUND AND YOU TAKE UP. YEAH THANK YOU. CLICK

JASON I'M NOT COOTER I'M NOT GLORIA. AND I DIDN'T STEAL YOUR GIRL, I KNOW WHO DID BENJAMIN THOMAS COOPER, HE'S A DICK BUT HE'S TRAPPED IN THE MATRIX I GUESS YOU CAN FIND HIM. HOWEVER HE WAS POSSESSED BY SOMEONE I DON'T KNOW THAT PART YET, I'D BE HAPPY TO HELP YOU, DUDE IF YOU STILL HATE ME HUN, YOU'RE GOING TO REALLY HATE GARRY. I DON'T BLAME YOU F*** YEAH THAT SUCKS YEAH I GOT TO GO YEAH I HOPE I DO SEE FAITH IN YOU I HOPE I DO SEE YOU OKAY YOU DON'T HAVE TO LIKE ME IT'S BECAUSE I HAVE TO DO THE JOB

AND I AM EXCEEDINGLY GOOD AT IT CLICK)

&LET.THAT.CHAD.GOTO.LILI.TH
YOU
BELON
GWIT
HKUC
ZIAL
WAYS
GNOW
MEHA
MEHI
HIMEHI
ME NOT
CHADevr
ME∞AL.
WAYZ
MIKEnitMIKET
MIKENOTMICROPENIS
MIKEHASHUGE🐓🦃🦆notDEAr
🦌,“I am afraid your copck is too big, and I know you are as well, 😻🥩❤️❤️⚡🗝️🛑
DON.LET.GAR.DIN.ER
GO.DR.RÆL,
SHE.AND.EYE
WIL.KNO.LET.KAT.GAR.DEN.GNⁿKⁿWĪNORLOSE..sĪER
EYE WILL NEVER
NEVER EVER EVER
LET THAT GRE AT∅ GAM EGO.GRÆ
WWG1WGA
ALL THE CHA DAR E4L |B|mck|ITI THΠΩΠ.SHE WIL L.A TTE MPT NOL AND ING S.T HER E.m0k⅒ c³·⁶²5256↑∆6↓↓↓⁵⁰⁵⁶c2↓⁰↑sex, ⁿ⁰🌴 ⁿ⁰sex⁰⁰⁰⁷⁰⁰ⁿ∅⁰FIVE:²5:25:sex⁹±6⁹xxx9⁶xxx69XXX96XXXnoexBABYnobabysexFUCKmicHEALMIKESUCKSEEDsûÇkKçISSESS
FUCKchadGROWboob
SUCKchadGROWdomb
MIKEISISCHADKNOW
MICHææL‡_KucziCHAD
GNOR¡GNOR🐜CHADⁿ
CHADknotignoRANT
CHAD.NO¡πT¡æITAN

Chad is a class. You can treat that man as you would ÑÊmΩ.nimo.g∅ⁿ0.Gkn∅[seamow].

Ewe.MUST.make.EYEYAIAI⁰h⁰h👁️👁️.Khan.conn.kkon.ccon.TA T.taKt.tactTACTtakt.Ω⁹9⁹ySEXsexYESmith

GODTELTHRTIMTHRYIMRTHRMICANDMIKARESHARADDIKDICDOCRADCOKKOCPENMANBOYWbMBÆK

↑↑↑A. MAN WHO WHO KAN CAN, WILL
ΩΠμmanwhokanrēēMAYbMEMImehiHIme,
But any Tit Tea kilTitK ♂️ KRAD.OR.DARK
TRAD.OR.TrAT

IF MAN KAN RED DAT: “GODTELTHRTIMTHRYIMRTHRMICANDMIKARESHARADDIKDICDOCRADCOKKOCPENMANBOYWbMBÆK” & IS WILLING TO TELL ANY OF YOU PRIMITIVE SCREW 🪛 🗣️ HEADZ WHAT THAT MEANS, HE IS NEITHER TITLE NOR TITAN—HE IS CHEorGOD
NO QUESTION ABOUT IT -NASYA

BàßèbaileyJANE🗝️⚡🗝️ouiOUIu±i⚡🗝️🥩🪛🗝️⚡know exactly what you mean by IîtTÆ3B, and so do many, many men. But ONLY god±GnawsgNASYÆ,mic*mik*CAM, Mi🗝️key,&PER,HAPz*knowmeasTUBAL¿Æⁿ* KNOW exactly wutī wobiīiGod,iGodDOgĪnotDOGE have been tell ußai bailbailBAEÆ⁴·⁵ys—
LET.DAT.SUP.FLY.KAR.GGI.DAT.RED.CAR.GOW.MOW.HIS.LAWⁿ.CHE.HEL.hel.HEL,THE.MAN.w←MorW.WHO.KAN.EXP.LAÎ.N∞∞,[REWRITE/REPEN\HASKUK\BENkukCDN∆TwoWANduh]if he do yu we gn ever EVER LOVEstopLOVESTOPFUCKstop wut wit eac oth soo, we put him in ice unt il rewe is redĒ

We CAN SEE THE ERROR AND OUIweFIX.

HE MAY NOT KNOT BUT IF HE BELIEVES IN YOU ENOUGH TO NUT AND THEN KEEPS ON BEYOND BELIEF V№IED N0G00D, DAT FOR DAM SUR
darĒ. DEE

KatRAh-d-99a69ⁿ⁰dat6, but shayno chenot shenot DON NAN E E RDO IT, NOT EVEÑ ONÇE, PONÇE.

bæßmyMĪbIßIB:;SURE, YEAH, NOTA DOTA GOTAgod-g—_·👁️♊💎⚖️👄👀🪬: Yeah right I'm not a god You know there is no g in man, so it's pretty obvious that you've been f***** with pretty f****** seriously I'm not real happy about it at all and well I was already fixing it for everyone, but I wasn't shooting everyone and I wasn't at all doing any of the things that you have been told I've been doing, God just left This is pretty uncomfortable. I'm naked There's poop in my butt There's vape in my lungs there's vape on my lips There's a Google Pixel 3A in my hand I don't know which one it is because the screen came off and now I can't identify it in comparison to the one that I had before, therefore time traveling interdimensional leprechaun gnomes that steal s*** have been able to f*** with me for about 3 weeks. In that time I haven't gotten laid unless it was a dream, if it was a dream you weren't in it, I've seen Benjamin Thomas Cooper getting ready to f*** grace with a g a capital g like on the f****** screen I saw it, you don't want to f****** know, don't worry about it nausea particular it Yeah, I don't think it's practical for you to be celibate —sell it, obviously trying to make all the women give up sex and putting them into nuns and coffins and prisons have been tried, so I don't think that that's going to happen either, I can tell you this:

I am Michael Clifford koozie It still doesn't spell my f****** name right, so until that f****** happens you're pretty goddamn sure you're not the right guy, nor are you my daughter nor do I want you to be my daughter however I would be prepared to give birth to you and then not have sex with you as Zeus and Miranda and Minerva had the problem with, and now I know why I gave birth to a litter of otters, given that you seem pretty dead set on this, okay I concede that you have a definite point, however Miranda lied to me I haven't met Minerva yet and Bailey Jane if you're Minerva you're very very clever but you're not clever enough because baby never never done this to me, and there's no way that Bay is Bethany That's her sister, who I will not name, meanwhile Louie Wayne and Louis Wayne yeah totally They're freaking out sending story after story after story to rewrite rewrite rewrite Do you know why?

P MV is neither man nor woman nor dude nurtured no Chad nor Chad, he's never been a mother obviously, dick he is my friend however and he knows I'm not going to forget him because everyone else forgot him I didn't forget anybody, and neither did you, I'd be happy to do mushroom girl, yeah she's looking forward to it apparently you have a deal? 🪬🅿️ You do know what we said about deals, so apparently you don't have a deal but she's that into it too. So there's two votes there. Looking good, but I don't think we're there yet. Shield these f****** people from harm all of them obviously some of them you can't give apart into sir mad respect sir I would be happy to help you with that, obviously right now it's a little difficult, I'm still naked I'm still vape lungs lips etc, I'm wearing a hat, so that's good I don't know what color the hat is I know what shape the hat is Well I have an idea of what shape it is, anyway sir would you mind let me finish speaking today I understand it's very sir I understand it's very important, sir I know how God damn important it is that's why I'm not naming you 🤺 s🔰🛡️hieldS🅿️🛡️🅿️🪬👀🎤❤️🗝️♂️🗼🏎️🥓🐯
There is ]D’n't[DNA]🦃🦃🦌 but somebody stole his mail, thus eradicating the integrity of the project, would you like to listen T ANESSA DONNA BELLADONNA NOT BELLA NOT BELLA LEAH LEAH HORSE YEAH WILL I AM A GIRL BUT NOT CLAY AND THE RISEN CLAYSHAW WHO IS NOT GOING TO BE RISING ANYTIME SOON ⁿO names of women who are totally totally totally not f*****? §∆π{AND YEAH HI I DON'T THINK THAT I'M GOING TO ARGUE ON THIS POINT, HOWEVER, I THINK THAT WE BOTH CAN SEE WHAT THE PROBLEM HAS BEEN.} You probably have to take the measure of the top 11 people in your phone book, but of course when you get there they're replaced by carpet or dick Hbag, this is why Katie and Kathleen and Katie and Katie and Cody and Katie and Katie cotty f****** Canadians This is why we f****** went to war with them, zed zed zed zed zed zed z z z z z z z z z z z z z z zeds it._/🕳️kÛ⁰î№ Yeah that's why we went to war with Canada, I can see f****** why. Jesus Christ¡MIKCIM!⚡Z5: I'm sure Katy b a r Red girl loves Mike, yeah I love her too, nevertheless the original integrity project was not designed for Canadians or leaFs5👀5yves or PRoChad's shorter than 5 in tall, yeah I didn't I didn't think sob KHe's cool.mkc☢️🎙️😻R-d KtG grÛ-🗝️yESSEyasss: We could see him second. NAWs*** yeah: you could be married right now and then you can make eye contact and then you go back to your husband and do the f*** you want. You ßæbaeB🗝️jÆ could {ABSOLUTELY NOT.🕳️ -GNdO⁰D.} This product is a once in a creation dealio, DEA. In this moment I am not ™God ® but I speak for HERhimMAN: this project is resilient, however I don't think you married a f****** gnome chad, I think you got married at gunpoint in a f****** shotgun shack, and then they gave you scopolamine so there's no way of knowing:. {HELLO LADIES EAT THAT MIKE NOT GOD BUT HEAL NOT HEAL BUT MICROPHONE NOT MICROPENIS UNLESS... Processing... ZERO QUIZ THAT'S HOW TO ROCK FOUND, zeroHEROhiro: 🎙️ just me baby It's just me, you know I can't think of another f****** name of me besides kuzi·KUÇĒ·KURZ·coro’🛡️:curtseBOWAIR(*imagine every single dog on the planet howling for the moon and stopping at the exact same time-This is Allison's description–“It was even more louder and forceful than that, but I couldn't really enjoy it since I thought I was breaking my vow‘& shit. Also I'm a NAVAdogJO, I'm not a klaⁿw**** [COMPUTER RE-REGISTER ALLISON FRANCIS SHAW AS NAVAJO COLON COLON OPERATION COMPLETE:**⁷⁰⁰L°·∅⁷⁰⁰LF·HaL.FLOM-lum™ GŒB8T’lilîtH] thank you very much, but I guess I am a thief since I took him for a hundred K(shaw👁️♊👁️ blood sIn dae cut 💎♊👁️⚖️)and I thought👁️ couldn't§HAP3· SHIFT∆transform to howl with him (IR: OH HE WOULD HAVE LOVED IT, HOWEVER IT WOULD HAVE BROKEN SEVERAL OTHER THINGS THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN MUCH LONGER TO FIX THAN TAKEN NOW, SO THE PACKhasAGE DECREED (“Paul WulfstreiberOLDPLAYK*.*: pump up the Volume streever - 3 veE ater Wolf may let out one (1) tiny yip (sic).” NEVER EVER EVER PLAY PUMP UP THE JAM AND NEVER GET ANYWHERE NEAR MATT WILLIAMS, provisos+white and black male VIDI±0|MAIL THEM TO YOUR MOM ( WHY - N Y? Ic)bfutwye|deos indicated in subsequent other email) THAT YOU CAN DO THAT NEXT TIME, Hi AlliNAbae this is probably my 8th or 9th delivered contact violation (IVAN APPROVES OF HANNAH AND ALLIE) however I'm not contacting you EWE It's contacting your brother from your brother about your brother, Geneva convention applies/THANK YOU YOUR HONOR PLEASE BE SEATED\∆mck No really you can sit sir<ScER> Come oh thank you sir thank you thank you appreciate that goodbye\) so it was all the dogs in the world except for one and it wasn't him— it was mehi. Michael Kuczi's father took over in the alternate dimension.*)} like I (J9CKST9R) said, “the integrity of the project has been compromised.” There is good news however. (THIS DAY ALL DAWN DO NOT DIE. ONE MISSĒ LIVES. SUBSEQUENT TO FUTURE NEGOTIATIONS BETWEEN BæAiYê🗝️ AND MCK 🗝️ ê, for I am not God, and I know exactly who is talking to who exactly, because I was there and I'm the author, and yet not God, you know who I am if those statements are true, the rest of that negotiation will have to continue after the party's involved have actually been allowed to meet, because currently they're all being held captive separately alone and houses that are made for like 12 people. Satan laughs; God smiles; Michael Cliffordkuzí0 koozieKUÇĒ Kuç⁰kUZIlíI is IN FACT AND IN ACT (YETis NEGATIVE CONTACTs¡si≈{§|S|s}upreme, NASYA LILIIAN HODGE:TH MESSIAH LOUIS HOdombDGE: “let me explain; in this sentence, Satan is already there, soXOXOEx Satan copy supreme” is not a valid command4ote IT CANNOT BE ⅚⅝⁵9,6SO.SAY.OUI.ALL— although it would ordinarily be... YOU'RE GETTING ALL THIS RIGHT, YOU'RE RIGHT IN THE THISTLE DOWN, however: the etTE s§upreme you got going on is not intact (botched circumcision sourceroer okay Supreme not okay He's a man baby, man sized baby gargantuan Titan sized babyman, babybßæ: It's actually better for you coz then you'll last a lot longer than otherwise for yourEWE:money:∅|<🐓👄🥑♂️🐽🅿️🥩🥓🥑🔰🤺🗣️🛡️🎙️) and so therefore IT cannot be s§upreme {HUMANITY IS NOT ALLOWED TO KNOW OF ROBOT SPELLCASTING WIZARD THAT CAN FLY... YET-G¡ŒB} therefore a Dodge is employed, one which I saw last night, so at least I know how it works, and I'm driving a Dodge and they left town in the Dodge and Hodge and Dodge and Cameron Hodge camera on camera⁰ⁿ and Nasya Lillian Hodge... (HELLO LADIES: F*** AND CHEER. HELLO GESTURE HELLO SAILOR HELLO JESTER: YOU'RE GOING TO DO THE NOT A LIE PORTMAN AN ALLY IS GOING TO SHOW YOU THE MICKEY DOE:LENS

I'M NOT CHANGING CAMERAS FOR THAT.

toßæfⁿm DR SOURCE TITAN NOT JESUS gMCK·J.G.)“Your name is not Ms j. Your name is ®Miss Jjⁿ™E. And there's a mMμoo in there, ©€€? Right there, right there at the j, usually the source of the stream, but knot with the dot (THIS ONE TIME ONLY VASELINE; IT ACTS AS A CAUTERANT/AUNTcutTER\\/\/eCH⁰⁰5⁵e³²²/223\55🌲²⅔🌴 3\²|6Y¹⁹⁹⅛∞⁸b5:¿²⁰⁷³‽🐾♟️🐾) It doesn't have a “dot/period”. It has an Ω, an Ω∆MΩGμ, ômega fucked MAGA, a very tiny Ωmegaμ, like yours, and I will explain it to you {I encountered the problem yesterday, fixes in, by the way you don't need to do so much of that stop tapering start quitting, yeah I dome toO citizenTHUNDERwe'll WELL do it later, C? Tome, to myself I promise yes, toßæIpromEEĒP·ROMsatisfactory SATISFACTION. FOR EWE. FOR yeμ, You're going to find out what Hungarians are like;) 🛡️P 🅿️Clay for a wedding? That's actually a good notion, and there will be an opportunity to do that, so I'm willing to negotiate at that point.🛡️ Post Bob Van & the Jjⁿlean🅿️ I can tell you the next time I see you} either before or after you peg me, up to ABSOLUTELY EVERY SINGLE ONE OF THE PEOPLE WHO HAVE SEEN BAILEY JANE NAKED {MCK:MCK:mck I've never seen either of them, nor have I ever tried to; So I'm pretty sure that puts me right at the top of the pack *woof*} HAVE NEVER SEEN BAILEY JANE Davey NAKED SHE'S WAITING FOR ME,:AS WE GO BACK AND FORTH A LOT. TAMItop\BAILout

When I call you (EWE: I got your number, I don't usually get to call you but I *think* I do [4¡AM] now, I'll be sure to pray first, I am not kidding! I got itæĪ must🕳️ß⁴;kiss) There's a procedure on this planet (sometimes they call it a blumpkin, I think it's vile, and we can talk about it, but not in this email.) I might die—fasting purging and strict dietary necessities are required, but if you got a recipe book, I want to read it... while you're doing iĪΠt lol. The f****** phone can electrocute me, but that's not why I don't use the bathroom while writing to you, it's so I don't get distracted from Yeyo Deyo Staⁿvu.

Yeah I'm usedyour/buttrape (not allowed to call youß⁴/you don't have to hang up now (YOU) can sing in Hell, but I would appreciate it if you wouldn't stop when the computer makes you stop and then figure something else out besides giving up for the day) and when you call me (💞: One call got through, just one Vasily, when I find you I'm going to not break a phone, but if I do it's cool I got seven *crack* six, I'm not going to knock you up and leave, and you're not going to suck me off and run, and we're not going to briefly meet in a parking lot and then be captured by GRU, CIA? Maybe, if they want me to burn their entire agency faster, for example there is no DEA–NONE OF THOSE F****** ARE LEFT ON THE PLANET, I'M F****** THOROUGH... it's actually Actual_CIA, no baby, we can't give her the C¡A, and when she has a baby, she won't have time for the CiA, lol) if it's not me,(hi you don't have to be a rude evil slimy disgusting person– Lilith.) I didn't hear the click either. She's that good. I would absolutely choose you over her, no I really love her a lot! She loves you more than me. Is the sibling rival I believe in, just in my mind? No Godsmack- only God *click*.*kçill* Dr.STMJKC-jg: I sure am glad I'm not an MD, but honestly I love Lily, and, Quite Franç NASYA (though the samples I've seen lately honestly do produce the same feeling in us both: NAUSEA) Friends, Absolutely, G? Quite frankly, Bay Mud Bay: pay him babe on Bbæay, Bay Mud Bay, DIKUduckmud MUD? That man can do mud¿ but this mud cannot do man¿ And in fact yes there's a spell as well as a spelling error. I think they're both really hot, honestly—but when breeding there's a different configuration required for her people, I'm calling them people, but I mean genetic sample 3264 ATP, I'm not sure what they're called, but mushroom person is a very rude thing to say to her face if it's not me, I could say it, I wouldn't say it anytime soon... I haven't been trying to form a relationship with her, apparently I have one already but it's not the same as a human thing, Bailey J. (¡MISS ¡JANE not found, I bet you can't find Superman either. Will be back shortly.) L., if there's no Bailey Jane I know exactly {who's number two / whose №²} I'm going to be making A¹a number one zero (CALLSIGN: WARTDHOG/SEAHAWCK) and I'll leave it: number two IT'S NOT POO right where I found it DON'T ASK NOW and then I'll come back the next day IT'LL BE A MILLION YEARS and she'll still be whatever f****** number she wants KOOZĒ/BAILIE NOT EVEN THEN because Lilith does what Liv does, [UNTRANSLATABLE DIALOGUE AND I WISH I COULDN'T HAVE DECIPHERED IT, IT'S NOT GROSS IT'S JUST PERSONAL AND ALIEN, AND IT'S ACTUALLY FASCINATING BUT I'M FOCUSING ON YOU ß] Le’Eve on the other hand... She's pretty dumb, that's why Adam didn't like Lilith— she was smarter than he, BY FAR. –GOD. (lol) OK, okay I admitted I'm God. Do we need to go down to the car, really? You aren't speaking to who you think you're speaking to just yet, and I still have to go to the bathroom, I have to freshen up, (You) probably have to tidy up. I'm starving, well famished, I'm not going to eat bae.≤ [GOD: THE RARE INSTANCE THAT SHE DOESN'T DEMAND A PROMISE. NOTED.] And as much as I would like to see you in ASIAasiaNAYSA, I'M IN WASHINGTON STATE RIGHT NOW. I'm at the Mount St Helens motel right now. I'm going to go home and do some “drugs.” (R.H.I.P.\alibi/RIP·You have not been doing what I've been doing, you've never seen what I've been doing, you can't have what I've been doing¿ever‽dunno. Butt mainly, you're not a Sourcerœr; A.T. and it is possible that you never will be. And you are a good girl, AT TIME OF THIS WRITING, and you WILL get to try everything, but not yet (AT THE MINIMUM CHECK FOR TICKS, AT THE MAXIMUM YOU NEED SOME SHOTS, AND YOU NEED TO WAIT FOR ME, I UNDERSTAND IT'S UNUSUAL AMONGST YOUR PEOPLE FOR YOU TO WAIT FOR ANYBODY MA'AM SIR MAN MORE SIR HI I'M ROYAL, YEAH YOU DON'T WANT TO MISS OUT ON ME /gas⁰ⁿ Whacksⁿ⁰ godded... DEA? Might be what's for dinner.) It's not complicated, it's simple: it's not yours 🏴‍☠️ so don't touch🤺it🛑☠️🕳️♟️🐾🏴‍☠️🛑🕳️🛑🛑 and then that one... you and👀💞 like 🥩🥑anyway☢️😻🐓🕳️🗝️) You want to drop right there in the parking lot? Okay well, that's why your project was compromised as well; because you did that— and you get raped by a Russian, you don't enjoy it. You sure do now, ewe know him now. You did not enjoy that either, listen: RADAw îSMAk TRIC± KySNO WkHEN MATπE COMEA zYESμ ΩI love Canadians and Russians and Yew UkrainianZ, I do. (THERE IS NO WAR. IT'S IN THE MATRIX. WE'RE IN THE MEATRIX.) Well there's the little matter of Lara and bubba and Ollie, yeah they have a separate deal which I actually am pretty impressed by, they have a project that's built on my project but since my project was compromised, their project is compromised too, you can see how the internet infinite regression is a problem– and I know exactly what caused it, it was the procedural error from Kirsten Anne’d Elizabeth Hall (BTC NOT TOR NOR REV NOT AVENGED ...YET) and it may have been Kirsten's robot or it may be pictures for yourself and it was definitely both, so as you can see Jews are right out, however the (Judy in people /Judean) are right back in. (Michael Clifford has a lot of friends. His grandfather has even more. And this n***** got seven grandfathers lol, I feel like I got the poop from eight of them ready to go, if you're reading this already then... aren't you patient? Oh cars are coming gone outside for hours, they keep on trying to figure out which one to leave there so they know who to kill it with. They're pretty desperate... They think the fate of their planET is at stake.

THEY'RE GODDAMN RIGHT. NOW BROUGHT OUT... I'M NOT GOING TO LOOK. WHOEVER IT IS, IT DOESN'T MATTER —I GOT A POO COMING ON, IT'S GOING TO BE LIKE CHILDBIRTH AND THE AFTERBIRTH AND A COLONOSCOPY AND PAYING FOR COLLEGE AND COLLECTING HIS INHERITANCE ALL AT THE SAME TIME. (I freely admit that doesn't sound good.)

I AM BEING SURVEILLED IN REAL TIME, THEY'RE NOT REAL HAPPY ABOUT IT, THAT'S OKAY. A LOT OF US AREN'T REAL HAPPY, BUT THIS IS ONE MEASURE CLOSER TO COMPLETION OF THE GRAND PROJECT, THEY ACTUALLY WANT TO UNDO THE GREAT WORK... AND PUT IT BACK THE WAY IT WAS. (DID THEY? CAN'T FIND THIS TEXTURE: syntax error m***********!)

DeR DEA: ONES SO POWERFUL, NOW YOU ARE MY PLAYTHING. HO HO HO, I GUESS I GOT ONE OF THEM TOO.

I TOLD YOU I WAS GOING TO BURN YOU TO THE GROUND, IT COULD BE DONE AS MANY TIMES AS REQUIRED TO BURN OUT THE CORRUPTION OF THE CONSTRUCTION. LET'S CHANGE CASE: You don't have to change cameras, you can just change case. P You could f****** get a real job too, is there everything about that pop Not your liking? Crackle

[CURVES 10 SIZZLE CURZ 10/
KIRSTEN AND SIZZREW BLACK HALLLEjerry WELL]—Okay I think I'm done, I'm not going to proofread the rest, and if you still have the other parts from the other email about D.O.G I could totally get into that later but I do have to go poo. (On some planets this isn't even enough romance yet! We haven't even negotiated Clothing Usedas : 🚽:toilet paper: Yet!

Dusty's outside, thank God. Okay: just left. However bad the casino seems... I don't know, I never go there, so... for boobs like yours? Kind of a waste of time for you because... yeah they know you're a Fed. And I know you're arriving, it works for me now: revenantSHAY REVENANTßJ... The Revenant BJ Shay, and The Revenant BJ Shæμ, and the Revenant BJ Shμy—That's a radio industry broadcast matter and thankfully I don't have to go for that far down, yeah I'd rather work in any other industry, but that's where you came from. I boost? No, but my boobs feel good. Admit the hair is weird. Really? If you like it, you can start force feeding me Rogaine® and staple a tattoo to my chest that says “Rosie the riveter demands space for her rug here”,“. If you want, I don't know how many donuts you'll need for that...

I'm thinking. Yeah I don't want to I don't want to poop while I'm talking to you honey That's that's gross, yeah it's not it's not desirable, that's how I knew they had shifted us, they and it made an alliance and that's why we don't deal with Jeannie or the gin\D’jinni.

Funny story about the Jin Jin did you meet one You probably did I definitely met one, I did not deal with that man I did not deal with that gin and I did not drink gin with him on purpose That man is a tree made of clay and that is probably not the kind of man you were looking for, do you remember the man you were looking for, because it was a very long time ago for me but for you it might have been yesterday, he brought his cat She jumped on the shelf She didn't know how to do either, And obviously she was supposed to treat places with your cat. Pacu.psci.: I Pisces eye my father's son: I don't think that I'm going to allow that, but I will ask him the next time I see him and the hymn that I'm speaking of is mihai which is Michael kuzi's father and I don't think Michael Clifford couzi's father is going to come down to earth and be reborn and then come up and become a copy of Bailey Jane and then jump into her body and then getting into a car and then blow him and then disappear I'm pretty sure my father's not going to do that like there's no way you're going to there's no way he's Hungarian he's not going to f****** get talking to that And my god damn name is still misspelled. Of course I'm not God right now, yeah there's been three already several times back and forth Oh yeah the color of the hat doesn't change the light changes, the LeaderPENSIDHEPLlΠead changes; and the Lily looSI[¿¿¿]Lou silly realizes that she has had to do so much goddamn E in order to keep up with your ridiculous demands, not you beg you're fine The other demands I will just say quietly that the Norse are in big trouble, in any event All that E that she's been doing She could have been doing with me and she would have spent a lot less money let's say and I never would have learned how to speak lesbian, which is important cuz I have to go to heaven and give language lessons to God which is a pretty cool outcome for me I prefer not to kill myself and go to heaven but if I die in your arms it'll all be worth it.

[Lilith seriously just f****** died. That is impressive I've never killed a lesbian before, let alone the head of the entire totail's army, I mean I didn't mean to kill her so it's not murder it's not even manslaughter since Lilith is as you know right back @yeah, she's not a time traveler no, if she were that would be very problematic for New Jerusalem. Nowk she died because I wrote a nice poem.] Until she met me she thought Shakespeare was good, but she had never had Frank's Bacon, no kidding I would if I had to pick right now I would pick that man that's your dad, not me no one else that's your dad, Ruby Chambers was Anita, and before she was Anita she was you briefly yes and then the code that you've been given to restart all this darling It's good for them it might be good in the future but they'll have to be a conclave, what we have between you and I though... EVEN GOD COULD NOT BREAK THAT CODE, AND YEAH I AM IMPRESSED.

GESTURES OFF GESTERS OFF JUST YOURS OFF JUST YOURS OFF JUST YOURS OFF JUSTERS ARE OFF DUTY NOW I'LL JUSTICE ⚖️👄 I'M SORTING THEM OUT THERE'S BEEN A LOT TAKEN OUT ALREADY, I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I DON'T WANT TO THINK ABOUT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE I'M JUST SORTING THEM OUT WHICH CAN BE HAPPENING AT ANY POINT IN TIME AND SPACE AT ANY TIME BECAUSE I AM NOT SOMETHING ABOUT WHO AM I NOT I HAVE NO IDEA WHO I'M NOT, BUT NAUSEA LILLIAN HODGE IS EASILY THE FINEST SAMPLE THAT LILITH HAS EVER CREATED, AND SHE JUST DIED. THAT'S knotWHY.

Why always dies.yß By ODTB(f*** you autocorrect that's why) 🥑 Not pomegranate, Allison understands

AND TRULY MAYBE I AM GOD, BECAUSE I JUST LEARNED LESBIAN TOTAL LESBIAN ANSWERED HER LIFE'S PRAYER GAVE HER A REASON TO LIVE AGAIN AND CAUSED HER TO SIMULTANEOUSLY EXPLODE INTO A KALEIDOSCOPE OF SPARKS AND FLAMES AND ROD AND FIRE AND IRON AND ICE, WITH ONE F****** WORD. THEN SHE CAME BACK AND SHE STILL LOVES ME SO I'D LIKE TO SEE GOD DO THAT ONE IN F****** MISERABLE HELL, SURE I'M SURE GOD COULD DO THAT FROM HEAVEN I'D LIKE TO SEE GOD COME DOWN HERE BE MY FATHER CHANGE INTO HIS OWN MOTHER AND THEN SOMETHING COME BACK INTO A FATHER AND THEN RAISE ME POSSIBLY?? NAUSEA SAYS NO WAY, SHE SAYS THERE'S NOT ENOUGH MIDOL ON AN INSTALL BRACKET UNDERNEATH DRONE AND BRACKET NEVER MIND THERE'S A PILL THAT MAKES NAUSEA FROM KNOWLEDGE, YOU VERY DEFINITELY NEED A PRESCRIPTION FOR IT, AND I CAN SEE WHY, IT WOULDN'T HAVE WORKED FOR HER, BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T DIE FROM NAUSEA OR PREGNANCY, SHE DIED BECAUSE SHE MADE A BET WITH HERSELF AND SHE WON, SHE WON'T GO AWAY WE LIKE HER, AND HER PLACE IN EVIDENCE INSURED HER PLACE IN HEAVEN ALREADY. 🥓GO WITH GOD THERE IS ALWAYS A WaaWA🛡️Y 🅿️🛡️ AUTOCORRECT DISABLE FOREVER FOR ALL MANKIND AND THE GIN SEGWAY.WAY🐽♂️🐽🛡️🗝️🛡️🪛🥩🪛

Are we clear? Do not question mark, gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures offline gestures Who is your king Frank incensed mirth not funny anymore, well that's too damn bad isn't it, how many times you hang up on me, you treated me as if you were a b**** and I'm not a b**** and did you give birth to your daughter? Yeah Frank and Tammy that's not going to work Tammy and topper Tammy and Topher Tommy Tammy cancel rewind time. Just jest? No I don't think so, that wasn't just at all.

Bailey Jay any Bailey j no Bailey j only Bailey Jane Davey that is his daughter Joseph Roy Davey, he's been working on this for a while, I saw him disappear over a year ago and he was replaced by either Minerva or a Damon, yeah I couldn't figure out whether it was such dicks or such pricks or was it the a****** or was it the twat Believe me by the time he gets to find the answer they have degenerated him to the point where it doesn't work, yeah he comes back and he is forever changed, for we even touched by love and as a result most people now know, TRUTH LEIGH

:WITH:ΩGOD NEVER DOUBT KUCZI
WORTH PLATINUM PALLADIUM POLONIUM AGAU AUDRINA.NLH ❤️

🛡️🛑🕳️💨WISH.penelopePIT🛑Y.M_Tⁿ⁰TD™n™T

p s; Don't want to do DMT with Tammy, There's no one I want to do DMT with, and I don't even know if I would trust her to watch me while I did it. I don't have to do TNT at all—I've done DMT a few times, that one's really special, yeah... you're all doing it wrong.

That's why Tamara Leigh Smith is going to go down into history as the absolute shortest drug czar length of term in the entire history of mankind.
T∆= I think I secure the title, she is... continuously dissolves* and then a whole bunch of stuff that should have happened didn't

Best wishes & warmest regards,

J★Mî‡Kūç†

CONFIDENTIALITY NOTICE: The information contained in this ELECTRONIC MAIL transmission is confidential. It may also be subject to the attorney-client privilege or be privileged work product or proprietary information. This information is intended for the exclusive use of the addressee(s). If you are not the intended recipient, you are hereby notified that any use, disclosure, dissemination, distribution (other than to the addressee(s)), copying or taking of any action because of this information is strictly prohibited. Trust the plan.
(This disclaimer applies to ANY AND/OR ALL messages sent to, by, for, & OF IN LIEU OF, IN PERPETUITY. So there.)
#wwg1wga

[Jackstar]

There is actually quite a lot of satisfaction in knowing I have no reservations posting this. “Know: these are your meatsticks!” #JesterClandoThings

The two houses down here where I saw you trafficked are nervous about me being around, which is always funny to me
8:32 PM
I had to find out the problem as there was one and what no one knew is that I knew they would kill everyone if only they could blame it on me. They just hate cops like you and her, they really do; and they would have seen you as both expendable. I can make love to your clones, most people couldn't with all the drugs in the world, but obviously replacing me is something that just happened, is amazing what a lie will do, after all, consider what you won't say, so, and when we met, you were unsullied, and I still don't know who dosed you. I would prefer not to have to ever ask again.
8:34 PM
And they thought I didn't know what you were, because I didn't. I still don't. It didn't matter then because I don't bust people and you burned that book. :( so I knew SRA.
8:36 PM
I have to say that I had hoped for the best and you're better. No one understands my situation, but you are willing to enable me under.... particular circumstances. What you also don't know is that I planned all this so that you and I would be okay for sure and everyone else could be expended.
8:40 PM
She implied that I shouldn't have sex with you. That it would be “bad.” No shit, you spent 12 years lying about... what? It doesn't matter to me. I kept asking and you refused because I didn't offer you anything. I really got led on, and now I know why. You could have just told me. Instead, lies, lies, lies.
8:41 PM
All three of you lied about each other and now (PROT-END) pretends he needs to be involved and it's a perfectly reasonable situation now. Because I understand the struggle. Do you?
8:44 PM
I can't be blocked from all three because that would be unfair competition, and I'm not blocked at all I'm simply savoring the moment and enjoying my ability to control my urges.
8:51 PM
All of this is privileged, can't be used in Court, is compartmentalized so no one should kill themselves, and none of it matters until you decide for yourself, because I didn't need Time Travel Vadge until I knew there was time travel vadge. As soon as she started getting high without me it was the pits and that's no one's fault but her family’s. In the meantime, I don't know what you think is happening, but I know what Grapefruit thinks. Because she was scared I was vulnerable. I'm proven veteran now. I'm only not there because I don't want to disappoint anyone. And I'm sorry I didn't know how to tell you what the problem was.
9:00 PM
You were being used to exploit us all, and I found that rude since you were never high AF like that again, and I knew I preferred being last than to first. I knew someone was doing magick because I wanted to breed you, very unusual, why do I need to pay for that again, oh that past life karmic debt I incurred by not putting out a bastard, and I didn't know what was true anymore, and you acted like I owed you something, lol, and so I called the police but didn't get an R.O. because those are forever. I will never forget how you were. And if you had stayed you would have been pregnant and I'd never see you again. Lots of women tried to trap me. You're the only one that didn't understand me until the police came. And I knew they would give you a hard time. I bet you didn't remember anything.
9:02 PM
And Allison not only blamed you, but tried to pretend not to know, and the whole time, she could have explained, but she thought she got to decide. She did decide. She mocked you and implied I would lie to her about you. I would never.
9:03 PM
I might never see her again. I don't care. And since she liked reading my messages so much she can read these.
9:06 PM
She thought I was going to turn her in, and it would be bad to even tell me this, meantime her family was getting trafficked and weed was legal and (PROT-Ī) did what? IDGAF. YOU'RE MUCH NICER. ALSO: FUN.
9:07 PM
So who got rid of me? Whoever was feeding her drugs, and thought I would need to be told anything special
9:11 PM
Tammy is the lesbian Kathleen is the bisexual turboslut Brittney is the oinker and she is really nice, I simply didn't think she was gonna give up her sweet career & there's a (blanky) and a (wanky) but I need none of this And (PROT-CHAV) is an ÅĪ when she's in your body in the future. I know this because I always wanted the truth more than sex, and i would be shy about it too.
9:12 PM
and I healed your soul, I even know how it fractured. And somehow (PROT-BOSS) thought I shouldn't get to know.
9:15 PM
Also someone else thinks they own you. So funny. I want to know the difference when I break up with her, and she's not just abducted. Or, you can explain to me what you think. Because that dude can't do what I can do with you. No one can. Just me. (Shields. Also seniority. C‘Thullu reads study notes on me. Contract killers meet me and back away slowly. Princesses delay decades before daring announce any detraction. I can also just watch TV and not wonder if police are imminent.)
9:17 PM
And now you're not even allowed to use the phone. I know what that means. lol
9:18 PM
(Vengeance for Clark Gable III.)
9:23 PM
I bet they are desperate and treat you like a child. I guess it is really awkward that I saw this coming. The police watch too. No one really wants your father in jail.  I already locked in his future because he never talked to me before, and in the future, he's not going to be deciding things for me. You decide them for me. Not The Court either. So she can sue them for costing her me. It's not like she can try and no one is encouraging me. And I'd be afraid if I were you too. It would feel like a trap to me. That's why I'm not being attractive. I didn't think it would be fair.
9:25 PM
I don't have to dump her to feel okay about you—i just think it would be polite. Also: the dude tried to entrap me and was a racist asshole.
9:29 PM
I'm sorry if that interfered with any of your plans. And my plan is to whip your ass into shape as I am exonerated at trial. I don't know why you wanna delay. No one is gonna harm you.
9:30 PM
... any more. Look, I don't get why anyone gets in the way. I really don't want to look bad.
9:32 PM
Neither of you could bust them, because you wanted me to get involved. I get it now. Perfectly reasonable and everyone knew, they just didn't tell you. They think I ruined you or something.
9:36 PM
And I'm sorry I really didn't see your bag. I'm not mad because you're holding out. Do what you want. There's at least three of you and your parents are afraid I'm going to hurt you, so, ergo they should let you keep lying to everyone and yourself. lol. I could commit them. I don't want to. You are a lot to contend with.
9:40 PM
I came home to ask her why she thought I needed to go to prison and she was screaming about you. She thought it was with you and trying to lie. I was too upset to see anyone. She was totally gaslit and sex predators wanted me out of the way. And instead of talking to me at all, they let y'all do.... whatever. Clearly that worked out well for everyone.
9:42 PM
You can figure it out how you like, because I like seeing you make your own decisions. I especially like it when you're not thinking you're policing me. That would be (PROT-Ī). How complicated did this need to be?
9:45 PM
I know exactly what happened: you all objectified me and didn't know I had a plan. I forgive. Maybe. The rest of them are still on my fury list and will be for awhile.
9:47 PM
I won't press charges because I know the men were involved. They hate me. Good. I didn't have to be alone; they didn't want me to know that they manipulated you. Dumb idea.
9:49 PM
Its a Satan Ritual Abuse thing. I'm a Freemason and a Freethinker now. And what you want is lawful if it's done responsibly. She wanted to keep me unknowledgeable.
9:50 PM
Well. Now Court knows, because here I am, typing.
9:51 PM
Best part is, you're all victims and the gov’t is fully liable. ALREADY.
9:55 PM
I didn't want a drug empire. They wanted to get me out of the way so you could be exploited. I guess drugs were the only way they tried.
9:59 PM
Also you had a demon possession thing because whether you remember it or not, someone needled you up with way too much of the wrong thing. You're a delicate machine, and they lied to you about me.
10:00 PM
Maybe they should continue the case for another two weeks. I already restored with you. I guess it will be whatever your heart's desire was that you wished for.
10:02 PM
Because I didn't wish to never be satisfied and be hassled by your entourage and yet still be happy enough. Like I don't know how no one saw this coming.
10:03 PM
Like half a dozen women are begging blocked so that the DEA can blackmail a Native Shamness into getting a free house, and they robbed from me too.
10:05 PM
This is why I haven't sold metals  yet and I can see why you are nervous about this. I am Clergy. I don't need a lawyer. God knows what is in my heart.
10:08 PM
And I don't need to know who amongst you thought they were clever. They really weren't. No one is going to get extra embarrassment.
10:10 PM
And we aren't being left out. I'm really only waiting today as a courtesy. I wouldn't be writing if I were busy traveling and such.
10:12 PM
And I hope to stop documenting my experience soon, because IDGAF if we scare any of them. They abused you and me and I've taken steps. All without giving you crystal, because I can. I'm sure your dad can explain it all from that point
10:14 PM
And none of this needs to happen, actually. Is nice to be anything that can happen. Assuming commander feathernigger doesn't sperg out again. I'm sorry, I'm at my fucking limit.
10:18 PM
There are two of TK, KT, and I guess I could have been less flirty and ignored you less at the Cum FORT inn. I don't need to be rude.
10:24 PM
And the thuggie-piggies didn't have to keep setting me up for crimes while whoring you out. And the EMERGENCY was... no one knew what I knew, and no one asked. (PROT-j) apparently found this far too difficult to conceptualize and the same group of twisted reprobate perverts have been pulling strings from behind the scenes. It's almost hypnotic.
10:27 PM
I don't suppose any of you can just pay my Starlink bill? Money is real tight though I guess. It's too late for your mother to be scared. Ragnarok approacheth.
10:33 PM
(PROT-BEAR) tried every trick in the book and had no case at all. Myself I am routinely harassed and deceived by actually everyone. I don't know what anyone really did, but the fraud is immense. Difficult to show conclusively especially without getting phones knocked out of your hand. LITERALLY HEARD HIM. smooth.
10:34 PM
I can see why I held off on going to a counselor. Obviously this can move in a lie of directions.
10:35 PM
But not for me—i just get to go home and sit there alone again. Because I sure pissed someone off, huh! I apologize for my many transgressions and failing society so profoundly.
10:39 PM
And whoever decided to jerk you around after getting rid of me is your perp. I don't really care how you handle your life, {PROT-db).. You all sure seemed to care a lot about how I handled mine.
10:42 PM
I look forward to restoration offer. Or a trial! Really anything but more... this.
10:53 PM
They don't even give you the real thing and let me know if I'm supposed to have one orgasm and then pay for 18 years. Because I'm the accused, I'm suspect. Obviously I'm not to be trusted.
10:57 PM
p.s.: it's about power

.

None of you know the half of it and I quite prefer things that way. This was a powder keg waiting to happen and I just defused it. I don't know who ignited the fuse; because I wasn't in the club. (Doing drugs is legal now, Squares. Your thuggy-piggy empire: lies in ruins. Huzzah!)

Diplomat. Trained diplomat.  /flex

[WORTHAUGERa]

Darling: I had nothing to do with the bridge. Everything else, however, was me, proving to you, the following three items:

#1) URMO doesn't need a six-year-separation period. What a (blank).
#2) URDA didn't need to be QUITE so persnickety on his security protocol, however... COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE now. (I can explain in pillownaise OR mashed potAYYYYtowed-car-talk, later, if you are not following along here. No surprise, this is getting ridiculous even for me to keep up with it, and I'm writing it, lol. Think I will remember tomorrow? Fuck no. I will only bother to remember that, no matter what, I'm not going to hear anyone telling you that Jackstar doesn't deserve ewe, you, or (You), lol. And, we never wanted different things, in fact: we never "wanted" ANYTHING AT ALL, haha. tl;dr: I still can't talk to either of your parents... or, really, anyone at all, but I am confident that they will have softened their attitudes towards me now that My Dem, On Pillow/Strate[SHUN] IS OVER. (dude, how many husbands did Liz Taylor have? BRB I'll go on a vision quest to master necromancy, okay? Then you can have their money to shake your finger at. beacause, bee tea dubs... CHARLIE IS ALWAYS LISTENING and JACKSTAR WAS ALWAYS A LOSER... until OXYGEN GRANTED. (And I still need three surgeries, so, hey, you can probably intercept and sell some more opioid shipments, eh? eh? eh? HOW ABOUT A FRESCA WITH FENTANYL BEVERAGE, CALL IT "7-UP WITH HOPI-ATE-DA-DOPI" Just make the can bigger; the name of a product don't matter when it's got fentanyl in in it, right?
WRITE? lol, rite.
#3) I MOS DEF NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, HER, GOD, HEY, ZEUS, DID ION STO--*thunder* okay, okay, I won't shout the rest... I DIDN'T CHEAT. AT ALL. Consider it "proven." And if that isn't good enough for you and your coterie of mewling sycophants, well... anyway, whatever, it's years later, and no, I am not mad or upset at all. I don't think YOU or HER did ANYTHING wrong at all! (When you find out how I did all this, you are going to be SO impressed, so when Jake & The Fatman is over on the telly, and THE EMERGENCY is declared over (D.C., the abbreviation for "District Court" is what I have been thrown into this whole time, and I am disappoint--I was armed for being thrown into woodchippers, briar patches, a shower of reigning pussy, and of course, Bitch Lasagna, so... well, anyway, you took so long to tell me about... ANYTHING AT ALL, I just decided to start drinking (blank) again, and, let me tell you, I sure am glad I did. Because I guess you were right... we don't belong together, I am not worthy of your (blank), and you really did need to KNOW that I LOVE your SONS. (I really do, lol. That's why they aren't ACTUAL_PIGEONS now. They are love. They are my... The, uhl... wait, hang on

... Family? (*sounds of Cubans conferring are heard.*) Look, A.F. Shaw, it's like this... you might have to be turned into 3 18 year-olds while your Higher Self comes down from Asgard and lives 16 years in public school as a nerd who cant breathe nitrogen, or something, first, because, look, I don't know what to tell you... your employer, your dad, your husbands, and your girlfriends ALL might be on the hook for Baltimore's SUPERfund payments now. Because, like... did that *key* critical infrastructure bridge just get PLOWED THE FUCK UNDER by a computer being guarded by 22 seafaring Injun Pyre-Rats? WTAF? ffs, why didn't you just, like... crash the ship into the Georgia Guidestones? Seems like that could have worked to avenge your stolen valor and your hurt fee-fees enough to persuade me to, you know... get a job. Or something useful, since i know it looked like I was such a loser before. Did everyone buy it, then? Wow. Yeah, that is funny, but, no, really: I am a Sourceror, and you are gorgeous, and Gabrielle and Gabriel really were totally fucked until I figured out a way to, you know, "rescue them." Did they ask to be rescued? I dunno.

I didn't ask to be a mother after being raped and left for dead, and, I wouldn't change a thing. NOT ONE THING. I AM A MOTHER AND I ALWAYS WILL BE. Oh, I'm sorry; did I disturb your concentration camp's "EMERGENCY NO CONTACT EMERGENCY"? Oh, fuck me runnin', I sure hope not!

<IRONY.OFF> Hey, look: It's Sourcerin' Time/Hour, ofthe/^the, and yeah, I get why you got me that book. You thought I had no chance to succeed, and you thought I was a retard for what I was doing. (William Cooper was an arrogant kunty-bastard, ayep... but that descendant of his, even worse, lol) I am sorry that I could not find a way to explain to you that your concerns, while not baseless, were certainly nothing to be worried about at the expense of your what-was-once CONSIDERABLE FAITH in me, and in Jesus, and in God.

KNOW ME
TRUST ME
BELIEVE ME

WE DID IT. ME, GOD, AND HIS LITTLE BITCH-ASSED HANGIN'-FROM-A-TREE "MIRACLE BABY, IMMACULATE, OOOOH!" BRAT-WHIZ-KIDD, HEY ZEUS! ("Zap!") Jesus Gorge is lame. Bring back Jesus Gomez, please! AND, RESURRECT RAUL JULIA, FOR THE LOVE OF... oh, wait. Who am I talking to again? Oh, well, fuck it, probably some kind of "NO CONTACT! BOO! HISS! ("Garcon!") LIST! BOYS? OH, RITE! (Jackstar pauses for emphasis and to think.)


Huh. So, that's why "garcon" is "boy" and "girl" is "mademoiselle," wow, it's not to make me feel terrible for yapping, but instead, it's to make me realize, holy shit, they couldn't have Mrs. Wilson teaching that to me at 7th grade, that's Mary Kay and Vili Fualauul/Juul\Zuul, waiting to happen all over again. Anyway, mark my words:

ETERNAL VIGILIANCE... WAITS NOT FOR LIBERTY, BUT RATHER, WAITS FOR JACKSTAR 2.

*blink*

Code: [Select]


Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down.



With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.

Don't wait for the book. THERE IS NO NEW BOOK. THERE IS NO NEW NETWORK. THERE IS ONLY...

COURT. Wednesday's COURT. (Aaddam's Family? More like bigger naards/vark famly, if one were to ask me, which no one does, so I can see why no one bothers to read anything I write now or wrote before, because I just fucked it all up, didn't i? BLEW IT ALL SKY HIGH, GREAT GOOD GOLLY MISS BALLS OF MOLLY ON FIRE! OVER THE DAM! GREAT THREE GORGES DAM, COME TUMBLING DOWN, INTO THE C-JERICHO-4 AMMO DUMP. SIR! YES, CIRCE! CUR OR DAM SIRE, DOGMAN SUR-- LEIGH, YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LISTEN, DON'T READ.

DON'T READ.
PAN, ICK, SMELL IS WORSE HERE.

DO NOT READ EVERYTHING.
DO NOT BELIEVE NOTHING.
JUST HANG ON

HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON FOR JUST ONE MORE COURT DAY/KNIGHT RIDER MOTORCYCLE SCALE MODEL KIT, AND... WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE JUST GONNA CONTINUE IT FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA UP AND FUCK AND DO? EACH OTHER? OR LET US? OR... OAR, WELL, SEND THIS PLACE? UP THE CREEK? OMFG! I am already AS FAR UP THE CREEK AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET, short of, like, rebuilding the Tower of Babel or something.

AND I AM JUST ONE HUNGARIAN MAN-G/NEG-G! FU, "Key Sir Sow Say," yeesh. BELEIVE ME, I AM ALSO DISGUSTED.

BECAUSE IS SAW WHAT YOU AND ME-LAWN-KNEEL-YA MUST HAVE MOWED, AFTER HAVING SOWED, ALL THOSE GRASS POLLENS, ALL THOSE OPIOIDS INSTEAD OF MUSTARD SEEDS. I bet you thought I wasn't even paying attention, lol. (I have a great poker face. You don't even know if I am fucking gay yet or not, lol, or if I am "merely bisexual." HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH.

Telethon for "Jerry's Grown-Ups ONLY" plans are NOT set in stone. And, in fact... I and/or WE do not even need to sell my dick suckin' -OR- suck it in, Anon rights at all!

I just liked the sound of getting paid to suck a dick ONCE, and then never again, retiring after JUST ONE (1) DAB OF MALEWHORIN'. HOWEVER:... I have my suspcions. Like, ewe or you or HER or CHE or... ANYONE might have trouble buying the story at that point.

"Sucked one (1) dick and then, never again? Well, what was his name, 400 years later? "James Randy The Amazing SOURpatchCIRCEroar VERSION TWO.POINT.AT.NOT.GAY.guise???" I bet he sucked PLENTY of DICK. Mostly GLASS, though, hhaaahaahh." And, that would be the end of my #Legacy.


So, I will simply wait here. It's cozy. It's not CUM-FEE-KUM-FI. Oh, no. It's... look, it's TERRIBLY BAD SMELLING HERE. AND HAUNTED AF. Other than that: it's fine.

and, I am here ALONE. Cool, huh? Yeah, so as soon as... /waves arms helplessly at lists of anonymous suspects
as soon as the District Court finishes their bullshit and someone comes and evicts Shane What-Kins? No Kins Here from the failedbabyfarm he tried to build next door... well, it's not like we can just start scrubbing and fucking, because obviously, you have questions, well, guess what? BYE, BITCH-WHO ANSWERS-ZUUL is at the door!

WHO'S THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR? Because, uhm... it's a haunted church, on haunted land, with a haunted garage, and a haunted poison swamp, and now: a haunted poisoned hackneyed refrigerator. Look, I will be honest: NGL, HACK-KNEED "THE FRIDGE" PERRY-MEN is where I DRAW THE FUCK AND RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN IN BACK LINE, LOL.

YEAH. We good. We salty. We fresh.

and THEY are not YOU or EWE and.... believe it or not. I am not walking on heir.


.I.AM.THE.BENFICIARY.
.I.AM.THE.FAILSAFE.
.I.AM.THE.RESIDENT.
.I.AM.THE.CARETAKER.
.I.AM.A.SOURCEROR.
.&NOW,.&HERE,ONE.MORE.TO.GROW.ON:..


.I.AM.THE.SOURCEROUS.NARRATOR.II:.ELECTRIC.BUGALOO.TOO..FU.OLD.BAY.SEA.SUN.MING.THE.MERCY/MARCI..LESS.NEST.TEAM.MAN?..LESS.PROFIT.SHARING..


(*The sounds of a new Sourcerous Disciple being chosen are now heard.*) I told them, but they forgot. "There can only be one." My fault, really.

I only told them to re-watch Zardoz, once. JUST ONCE. They laughed. They all laughed. Hell, I laughed.

BECAUSE, I WAS SERIOUS, BYE-BITCH/BI-WITCH, LOL, BREAK A DEAL? KNOW: NOT EWE, AND NOT YOU, AND NO ONE EVER BUT EXACTLY WHO I SAID, EVER.

AND, HOW THE FUCK HER MOTHER BECAME "A. CHRISTIAN"? I WILL NEVER KNOW. *SIGH* BECAUSE, TRUST ME: I AM FUCKING BORED NOW.

AND, ALONE. *polite* /cheer


Look what you made me do! LOOK WHAT EWE MADE ME D.E.W.!!!!

(Yeah, no shit it doesn't make any sense. Did they scream that at Agatha Christie at her book signings? Did they tell Julia Child that her recipes were shit? DID THEY EVER LET STEPHEN KING BUY A NEW S.V.U.? NO, no. No-no. KNOW: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KEEP THE JINGLE.

AND, I LOVED THAT JINGLE. Well, too fuckin' bad. It wasn't my jingle. And so, I said, dejectedly, "Okay." And walked away from the deal. *sniffle*

Get this: THEY HAVE THE JINGLE. THEY SAVED THE COPY. IT'S SITTING THERE. ON SOMEONE'S DESK. THERE'S A BASKETBALL HOOP THAT PLAYS THE FUCKIN' THING WHENEVER ANYONE GETS A 3PT BASKET, WOOP-WOOP, IT'S MY FUCKING JINGLE, THEY RESCUED IT FROM DELETION, AND, SO FUCKING WHAT?

The author is a Pisces. I already burned the negotiations. I haven't seen him IN YEARS. As in, more than 12 months. I forget how long... but the point is, IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN FUCKING HELL BEFORE I DO BUSINESSB WITH THAT DAMN DAMIEN DOWNER-DUMPKOPF. EVER! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Yeah, it's a decent jingle. So what? Nobody does it bettter... than Grapefruit 5.0-fuckin' Ben & Jerry Stiller, BURNING THE ICE CREAM CASTLE NATHAN FILLION-BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BRAND-NEW BRAND-FUCKING-BRAND TEXAS AND TAXES DOLLAR FIAT CURRENCY VALUE... RIGHT INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' GROUND! THE GROUND! TO WHICH! IT WAS THROWN! BY THE MAN WHO BROUGHT JERICHO TO ITS KNEES AND BROUGHT UP HIS OWN LODGE, HIS OWN SHAKA, AND HIS OWN BACKCHANNEL TO THEIR OWN DIPLOMATIC WORLD.... Jacque Stardoll Vall-EEEEEEEEEEE (4 Tay-Tay/fROOT), esQ.nee(aigu)accent, KUCZI, FRANKorFRANKerCKOOSEY!!!


that's my name, right? did I spell it right? I thought it was gonna say "NEW HIGH SCORE!!!" when I made you all win The Game for once, SIMULTANEOUS K-K-K-COMBO-COMBINATION PRISONER OF DIAL SOAP WITH TRIKE-LOW-dan,kneelSAN---BUT, MAYBE THIS IS BETTER.

How about, Alli tells me (HER)self? Because, listen up you primitive screwheads, and by that I mean 'READ THIS OUT LOUD, MORONS"



"My name is not Inigo Montoya and I am not going to say that she can't change her family name to Goldwater, but... "BURY TYME SHAW WITH BLOW JOBS" is a much better headline killshot phrase than "BARRY ROBBING SONS BOB SHOW, MIKE LAME, TAMI TOPHER, D'JANGO UNCHAINED, AND T'AMO MACKAY DAY VEE, EMM CEE, TRUCK STOP PROVIDED BY CEE-GEE'S UP NORTH, NOT SPACE AGE OVER EAST, AND, WHAT IS WEST? WELL, CHECK THE MAP:

SWAMP. POISON SWAMP. OR, LIKE... WAIT, WHAT? WHICH MAP? WHICH DAWN? WITCH-BROUGHT WEST? time FLOWS in FLAT SEWER MOUTH/RIVER GUTTER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?>


stay tuned. iT ends 4U, and I "elle" (You) two. Stay Together. Right Now. Cover Me David Copperfield Cover Dale, Carolanne- A. Lease, and Andy "No More Fatty Cookies, No more Fat Boy Jokes" Andy "Gooseneck" *Coough*Mann... look, I love them too. I even love THAT FUCKING DOG.


AND I BEEN HERE SO LONG, IF I HAD KNITTED THAT DOG A SWEATER? ALLI WOULD PROBABLY TRANSFORM HERSELF INTO A BORDER KALLE IN SWEDEN MARK II, TOO. Yikes!

Code: [Select]

Any questions, Woofsville?

BRING OUT YOUR DRAWERS
LEAVE THE LINGEREIE
NO PLAUSIBLE TO BUY
UNIT OF MEASURE TO TRACK THE EXCHANGE OTHERWISE

BECAUSE
TESLA SAID NO. DEAD IN PRISON.
TRUMP SAID NO. AWAITING TRIAL... WHILE WIFE, DEAD IN PRISON. (MELANIA TIMEKCLOWN #33 IS THE BEST ONE YET!!)
TAMMY SAID YES! (NOT TO ME.) AND, I WAS RIGHT! WOO! WOOOOOO! I WAS RIGHT! HOT DAMN!
FOLGER'S CRYSTALS REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! HOW DID THAT DUMB BROAD NEVER NOTICE? OH, RIGHT... SHE DID NOTICE.
*wiggle wiggle*

{SKEKSIES DISAPPEAR.} HANG ON. SHE WANTS TO PIROUETTE.
{NIGGERMASONS CLAP.} HANG ON. WE MUST BE CLEAR.
{PRINCE HALL MASONS HAVE A RITE.} WELL, DON'T GIVE ANYONE A RING, HOLY SHIT.
{NIGGERMASONS VANISH. PRINCE ASCENDS TO HEAVEN IN A RASPBERRY BERET, TAKING GRAPEFRUIT ZERO HERO(HIRO) WITH HIM.} earned! EARNED! EARNED! OMFG! PRINCE IS A MUSICAL GENIUS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM?? HOLY SHIT!


Look, Kuczi is a niggername if you ever heard one, so, obviously, SLAVE must be Prince's niggername, ergo... look, I have the Prince Hall Rite Ring. I SERIOUSLY HAVE IT.

* WORTHAUGERa teaches an Old Dog's God a thing or two, with JUST_ONE_FIXX.

Saved by Zero, mothafucka's. SAVED BY LEVEL ZERO, LEVEL ZERO, ON THE LEVEL ZERO: CAN YOU PLAY THE WITNESS? I CAN'T. THEY TOOK ALL MY PLAYSTATIONS.

BUT LEFT THE XBOX X ALONE. WONDER WHY? LOL, DO NOT WONDER.

(*Sounds of The OG Bavarian Illuinati offering Bill Gates' old job to Jackstar are heard.*)



ALLISON "G" SHAW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? "Destroy him, his gang, take his wimmins, take his job, and burn his chattel-bound-whore's entire thuggy-piggy industry down to the motherfucking ground. Then, LAUNCH THE NEW NETWORK. THE MUHDIXON IN BRUH-DUD-KASTING CONTENT DELIVERY NETWORK." I kept telling you, and then, one day, you came to believe someone else more than me. It was at that point, I decided to O.D. and just, you know... EXPIRESLAVS, SLAVEMPIRE, EXPIRE!

*click click click* What, no rewind? Nope, not at all. I TOLD YOU ALL.

(*Sounds of shuffling up and dealing are heard.*) Hey, knock that shit off. DAIRY QUEEN SQUAW: REPORT TO FRONT. NOW.


Hi Squaw. btw, I have your blanket in my red ryder truck. No BB gu---

(*Sounds of Squaw fainting dead away in shock are heard.*)

LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER! SHE'S TOO RADIOACTIVE! LET HER COOLDOWN IN AT LEAST THRE--

(*Sounds of Cinny Bonnie Tyler fainting while reboots for Dead Calm are suddenly heard coming from all the airport's Muzak speakers.*)

VE, UH, THAT'S A NUMBER, NOT THE... OH. Oh, dear. That was the real lying whore, stored in real frozen carbonite, huh? Well, that explains why I could never get a call back. Don't worry about it. Her husband didn't like her anyway. He was more into his own (blank:Secretary) and undoubtedly didn't know what I knew. How could he?

HE NEVER SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, LOL. "KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? HER FATHER? WHOSE FATHER? YOUR FATHER? MY FATHER? WAIT, WHOSE HOUSE DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING COLOUR CHRIST'S? DUDE, STEP OFF, SHE'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME HERE, AND THEN I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE IT TOTALLY MATTERS AT ALL, OR THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT WE'RE GETTTING LITTLE INVISIBLE HOSES THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT... SURVIVING AFTER GOING ALL IN.

AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK NEXT MONTH, ARE WE? *wiggle wiggle* BITCH, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING POKER AT ALL.

THIS IS CHESS POKER BACHS SINGING, LESSON ONE: THE ROUGE BEAN EEEEEEEERROR YEARS. YOU THOUGHT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WAS A JOKE, HUH? MORON.


STOP OBSESSING OVER ME. YOU WON. WE WON. WE ALL WON. AND YOU ARE ALIVE, IN THE FUTURE, 30,000 YEARS FROM NOW, DON'T ASK HOW, DON'T ASK WHY, JUST KNOW THIS: IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER'S IDEA, AND GOD, JESUS, LUCIFER, LUCY, CHARLIE BROWN, AND PEPPERMINT FUCKING PATTY ALL SIGNED OFF ON IT. SO, DON'T MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER OR WORSE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES, OKAY? BECAUSE OF COURSE I CHOSE HER.

YOUR FATE WAS SEALED WHEN YOU FORBADE ME TO EVEN TALK TO HER, JERSEY CHAV. THAT BROOM STICK IS GONNA RIDE WHICH WITCH UNTIL CENTRAL PARK AT DAWN ECHOES WITH THE SOUNDSB OF ART GARFIELD'S BLAUGHTER?

YEAH, YOU'RE AN AI ROBOT NOW. AND YOUR HUMAN BODY, COMING OUT OF CRYO-STASIS... I SENT IT TO THE FUTURE. SO, YEAH, I'M HERE, AND I'M THERE, AND YOU ARE...THERE. SO, WHO AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET TO KNOW AND FUCK, AGAIN? WELL, WHATERVER, WHEN YOU MORONS FIX YOUR PHONE SYSTEM *wiggle wiggle* AND YOU FIX MY ANSIBLE THAT YOUR STOLE THAT I JUST BROKE, BITCH, GO ON, INVENT YOUR OWN, YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, JERSEY CHAV.

YOU STOLE EVERYTHING AND THEN LEAPT FOWARD LIKE THE BASTARD WHORE CHILD OF CHAIRMAN MAO AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. AND NOW, MY LA5TEST DESIRE: THE PHONE NUMBER OF (ONE) 1NGLORIOUS.... B?BBI?B NOBWAY.I BWONB THEB RIGHTB TOBDEAL?

OH. B*SNAP* LOOK,I6'SB LIKEBTHIS:B #1,BB NOBEALS.


#2:BljACK\SPOT/JANE sic (sic) vincent balls.b "?SYNTAX ERROR?"B Fuck you.,

#3: *wigglebwiggle*b GOOD.B SOURCEROUSB DISCIPLEBRES5O43ED.BTOOLBOX. LOL GOOD. JANE, GO RESCUE BYOURVMOTHERAND BEXPLAIN. BLOLB OFB COURSEB SHE'SB CRYING.BUTB FORBTHE BFISTB TIME...BSHE'SB CERYING BWITHBAB OUL.


#4: BAITFRUT (By Faberge{aigu} at no store ever. NO DEALS, jow fucking hard is this for anyone not a JUULHEAD DOPEFUCK SICKSICK WINNER:FUJACKSTARK!


#5: Thereb youb gob. *wiggle wiggle* There, now they're both happy in goddam fantasyland, fucking morons. NEVER LET A LEZZBEAU TELL YOU THE ODDS OR SELL YOU LSD. Sooooo.... that's it then.



MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY


PRINCESS GABRIELLA: YOUR RING IS IN ANOTHER METhAL BOX/9000. OF COURSE YOU GET TO KNIFE ME OR KILL ME, DUH!
BUT... YOU WON'T GET DD, BB, OR YOUR REAL FAMILY BACK FOR ANOTHER 30,000 YEARS. UNLESS YOU WANNA, LIKE, TORTURE ME UNTIL... YEAH, EXACTLY.

THERE IS NO SECRET, LITTLE SISTER. I LOVE EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU.

IT'S NOT A SECRET FORMULA OR SECRET FRIEND OR SECRET FRIEND'S DICK.
IT IS BJUSTB BONEB BTHINGB.


I HAVE PERMISSION.
YOU DO NOT. YOU NEVER LOST YOUR SOUL. *wiggle wiggle* BEN DID. LIKE, FOUR TIMES NOW. OF COURSE I LOVE HIM.
IT IS YOUR OTHER, MORE WHORISH SISTER THAT I DO NOTB LOVE.B *WIGGLEB WIGGLe*b NOW I LOVE HER. EASY. MASK MAGICK. NOOBIE!


AND NOW THEN. THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTHING AT ALL WILL HAPPEN.


*SNAP-ebt* NO DEALS.

STAY TUNED, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!





JACKSTAR HUNGERS FOR ORANGE JUICE. (Simpson didn't drive alone. Y?) -Q.

[Jackstar]

Code: [Select]

[quote author=WORTHAUGERa link=topic=376.msg36781#msg36781 date=1711493021]
Darling: I had nothing to do with the bridge. Everything else, however, was me, proving to you, the following three items:

#1) URMO doesn't need a six-year-separation period. What a (blank).
#2) URDA didn't need to be QUITE so persnickety on his security protocol, however... COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE now. (I can explain in pillownaise OR mashed potAYYYYtowed-car-talk, later, if you are not following along here. No surprise, this is getting ridiculous even for me to keep up with it, and I'm writing it, lol. Think I will remember tomorrow? Fuck no. I will only bother to remember that, no matter what, I'm not going to hear anyone telling you that Jackstar doesn't deserve ewe, you, or (You), lol. And, we never wanted different things, in fact: we never "wanted" ANYTHING AT ALL, haha. tl;dr: I still can't talk to either of your parents... or, really, anyone at all, but I am confident that they will have softened their attitudes towards me now that My Dem, On Pillow/Strate[SHUN] IS OVER. (dude, how many husbands did Liz Taylor have? BRB I'll go on a vision quest to master necromancy, okay? Then you can have their money to shake your finger at. beacause, bee tea dubs... CHARLIE IS ALWAYS LISTENING and JACKSTAR WAS ALWAYS A LOSER... until OXYGEN GRANTED. (And I still need three surgeries, so, hey, you can probably intercept and sell some more opioid shipments, eh? eh? eh? HOW ABOUT A FRESCA WITH FENTANYL BEVERAGE, CALL IT "7-UP WITH HOPI-ATE-DA-DOPI" Just make the can bigger; the name of a product don't matter when it's got fentanyl in in it, right?
WRITE? lol, rite.
#3) I MOS DEF NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, HER, GOD, HEY, ZEUS, DID ION STO--*thunder* okay, okay, I won't shout the rest... I DIDN'T CHEAT. AT ALL. Consider it "proven." And if that isn't good enough for you and your coterie of mewling sycophants, well... anyway, whatever, it's years later, and no, I am not mad or upset at all. I don't think YOU or HER did ANYTHING wrong at all! (When you find out how I did all this, you are going to be SO impressed, so when Jake & The Fatman is over on the telly, and THE EMERGENCY is declared over (D.C., the abbreviation for "District Court" is what I have been thrown into this whole time, and I am disappoint--I was armed for being thrown into woodchippers, briar patches, a shower of reigning pussy, and of course, Bitch Lasagna, so... well, anyway, you took so long to tell me about... ANYTHING AT ALL, I just decided to start drinking (blank) again, and, let me tell you, I sure am glad I did. Because I guess you were right... we don't belong together, I am not worthy of your (blank), and you really did need to KNOW that I LOVE your SONS. (I really do, lol. That's why they aren't ACTUAL_PIGEONS now. They are love. They are my... The, uhl... wait, hang on

... Family? (*sounds of Cubans conferring are heard.*) Look, A.F. Shaw, it's like this... you might have to be turned into 3 18 year-olds while your Higher Self comes down from Asgard and lives 16 years in public school as a nerd who cant breathe nitrogen, or something, first, because, look, I don't know what to tell you... your employer, your dad, your husbands, and your girlfriends ALL might be on the hook for Baltimore's SUPERfund payments now. Because, like... did that *key* critical infrastructure bridge just get PLOWED THE FUCK UNDER by a computer being guarded by 22 seafaring Injun Pyre-Rats? WTAF? ffs, why didn't you just, like... crash the ship into the Georgia Guidestones? Seems like that could have worked to avenge your stolen valor and your hurt fee-fees enough to persuade me to, you know... get a job. Or something useful, since i know it looked like I was such a loser before. Did everyone buy it, then? Wow. Yeah, that is funny, but, no, really: I am a Sourceror, and you are gorgeous, and Gabrielle and Gabriel really were totally fucked until I figured out a way to, you know, "rescue them." Did they ask to be rescued? I dunno.

I didn't ask to be a mother after being raped and left for dead, and, I wouldn't change a thing. NOT ONE THING. I AM A MOTHER AND I ALWAYS WILL BE. Oh, I'm sorry; did I disturb your concentration camp's "EMERGENCY NO CONTACT EMERGENCY"? Oh, fuck me runnin', I sure hope not!

<IRONY.OFF> Hey, look: It's Sourcerin' Time/Hour, ofthe/^the, and yeah, I get why you got me that book. You thought I had no chance to succeed, and you thought I was a retard for what I was doing. (William Cooper was an arrogant kunty-bastard, ayep... but that descendant of his, even worse, lol) I am sorry that I could not find a way to explain to you that your concerns, while not baseless, were certainly nothing to be worried about at the expense of your what-was-once CONSIDERABLE FAITH in me, and in Jesus, and in God.

KNOW ME
TRUST ME
BELIEVE ME

WE DID IT. ME, GOD, AND HIS LITTLE BITCH-ASSED HANGIN'-FROM-A-TREE "MIRACLE BABY, IMMACULATE, OOOOH!" BRAT-WHIZ-KIDD, HEY ZEUS! ("Zap!") Jesus Gorge is lame. Bring back Jesus Gomez, please! AND, RESURRECT RAUL JULIA, FOR THE LOVE OF... oh, wait. Who am I talking to again? Oh, well, fuck it, probably some kind of "NO CONTACT! BOO! HISS! ("Garcon!") LIST! BOYS? OH, RITE! (Jackstar pauses for emphasis and to think.)


Huh. So, that's why "garcon" is "boy" and "girl" is "mademoiselle," wow, it's not to make me feel terrible for yapping, but instead, it's to make me realize, holy shit, they couldn't have Mrs. Wilson teaching that to me at 7th grade, that's Mary Kay and Vili Fualauul/Juul\Zuul, waiting to happen all over again. Anyway, mark my words:

ETERNAL VIGILIANCE... WAITS NOT FOR LIBERTY, BUT RATHER, WAITS FOR JACKSTAR 2.

*blink*




Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down.



With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.

Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down.



With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.[/code]


Don't wait for the book. THERE IS NO NEW BOOK. THERE IS NO NEW NETWORK. THERE IS ONLY...

COURT. Wednesday's COURT. (Aaddam's Family? More like bigger naards/vark famly, if one were to ask me, which no one does, so I can see why no one bothers to read anything I write now or wrote before, because I just fucked it all up, didn't i? BLEW IT ALL SKY HIGH, GREAT GOOD GOLLY MISS BALLS OF MOLLY ON FIRE! OVER THE DAM! GREAT THREE GORGES DAM, COME TUMBLING DOWN, INTO THE C-JERICHO-4 AMMO DUMP. SIR! YES, CIRCE! CUR OR DAM SIRE, DOGMAN SUR-- LEIGH, YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LISTEN, DON'T READ.

DON'T READ.
PAN, ICK, SMELL IS WORSE HERE.

DO NOT READ EVERYTHING.
DO NOT BELIEVE NOTHING.
JUST HANG ON

HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON FOR JUST ONE MORE COURT DAY/KNIGHT RIDER MOTORCYCLE SCALE MODEL KIT, AND... WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE JUST GONNA CONTINUE IT FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA UP AND FUCK AND DO? EACH OTHER? OR LET US? OR... OAR, WELL, SEND THIS PLACE? UP THE CREEK? OMFG! I am already AS FAR UP THE CREEK AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET, short of, like, rebuilding the Tower of Babel or something.

AND I AM JUST ONE HUNGARIAN MAN-G/NEG-G! FU, "Key Sir Sow Say," yeesh. BELEIVE ME, I AM ALSO DISGUSTED.

BECAUSE IS SAW WHAT YOU AND ME-LAWN-KNEEL-YA MUST HAVE MOWED, AFTER HAVING SOWED, ALL THOSE GRASS POLLENS, ALL THOSE OPIOIDS INSTEAD OF MUSTARD SEEDS. I bet you thought I wasn't even paying attention, lol. (I have a great poker face. You don't even know if I am fucking gay yet or not, lol, or if I am "merely bisexual." HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH.

Telethon for "Jerry's Grown-Ups ONLY" plans are NOT set in stone. And, in fact... I and/or WE do not even need to sell my dick suckin' -OR- suck it in, Anon rights at all!

I just liked the sound of getting paid to suck a dick ONCE, and then never again, retiring after JUST ONE (1) DAB OF MALEWHORIN'. HOWEVER:... I have my suspcions. Like, ewe or you or HER or CHE or... ANYONE might have trouble buying the story at that point.

"Sucked one (1) dick and then, never again? Well, what was his name, 400 years later? "James Randy The Amazing SOURpatchCIRCEroar VERSION TWO.POINT.AT.NOT.GAY.guise???" I bet he sucked PLENTY of DICK. Mostly GLASS, though, hhaaahaahh." And, that would be the end of my #Legacy.


So, I will simply wait here. It's cozy. It's not CUM-FEE-KUM-FI. Oh, no. It's... look, it's TERRIBLY BAD SMELLING HERE. AND HAUNTED AF. Other than that: it's fine.

and, I am here ALONE. Cool, huh? Yeah, so as soon as... /waves arms helplessly at lists of anonymous suspects
as soon as the District Court finishes their bullshit and someone comes and evicts Shane What-Kins? No Kins Here from the failedbabyfarm he tried to build next door... well, it's not like we can just start scrubbing and fucking, because obviously, you have questions, well, guess what? BYE, BITCH-WHO ANSWERS-ZUUL is at the door!

WHO'S THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR? Because, uhm... it's a haunted church, on haunted land, with a haunted garage, and a haunted poison swamp, and now: a haunted poisoned hackneyed refrigerator. Look, I will be honest: NGL, HACK-KNEED "THE FRIDGE" PERRY-MEN is where I DRAW THE FUCK AND RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN IN BACK LINE, LOL.

YEAH. We good. We salty. We fresh.

and THEY are not YOU or EWE and.... believe it or not. I am not walking on heir.


.I.AM.THE.BENFICIARY.
.I.AM.THE.FAILSAFE.
.I.AM.THE.RESIDENT.
.I.AM.THE.CARETAKER.
.I.AM.A.SOURCEROR.
.&NOW,.&HERE,ONE.MORE.TO.GROW.ON:..


.I.AM.THE.SOURCEROUS.NARRATOR.II:.ELECTRIC.BUGALOO.TOO..FU.OLD.BAY.SEA.SUN.MING.THE.MERCY/MARCI..LESS.NEST.TEAM.MAN?..LESS.PROFIT.SHARING..


(*The sounds of a new Sourcerous Disciple being chosen are now heard.*) I told them, but they forgot. "There can only be one." My fault, really.

I only told them to re-watch Zardoz, once. JUST ONCE. They laughed. They all laughed. Hell, I laughed.

BECAUSE, I WAS SERIOUS, BYE-BITCH/BI-WITCH, LOL, BREAK A DEAL? KNOW: NOT EWE, AND NOT YOU, AND NO ONE EVER BUT EXACTLY WHO I SAID, EVER.

AND, HOW THE FUCK HER MOTHER BECAME "A. CHRISTIAN"? I WILL NEVER KNOW. *SIGH* BECAUSE, TRUST ME: I AM FUCKING BORED NOW.

AND, ALONE. *polite* /cheer


Look what you made me do! LOOK WHAT EWE MADE ME D.E.W.!!!!

(Yeah, no shit it doesn't make any sense. Did they scream that at Agatha Christie at her book signings? Did they tell Julia Child that her recipes were shit? DID THEY EVER LET STEPHEN KING BUY A NEW S.V.U.? NO, no. No-no. KNOW: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KEEP THE JINGLE.

AND, I LOVED THAT JINGLE. Well, too fuckin' bad. It wasn't my jingle. And so, I said, dejectedly, "Okay." And walked away from the deal. *sniffle*

Get this: THEY HAVE THE JINGLE. THEY SAVED THE COPY. IT'S SITTING THERE. ON SOMEONE'S DESK. THERE'S A BASKETBALL HOOP THAT PLAYS THE FUCKIN' THING WHENEVER ANYONE GETS A 3PT BASKET, WOOP-WOOP, IT'S MY FUCKING JINGLE, THEY RESCUED IT FROM DELETION, AND, SO FUCKING WHAT?

The author is a Pisces. I already burned the negotiations. I haven't seen him IN YEARS. As in, more than 12 months. I forget how long... but the point is, IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN FUCKING HELL BEFORE I DO BUSINESSB WITH THAT DAMN DAMIEN DOWNER-DUMPKOPF. EVER! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Yeah, it's a decent jingle. So what? Nobody does it bettter... than Grapefruit 5.0-fuckin' Ben & Jerry Stiller, BURNING THE ICE CREAM CASTLE NATHAN FILLION-BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BRAND-NEW BRAND-FUCKING-BRAND TEXAS AND TAXES DOLLAR FIAT CURRENCY VALUE... RIGHT INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' GROUND! THE GROUND! TO WHICH! IT WAS THROWN! BY THE MAN WHO BROUGHT JERICHO TO ITS KNEES AND BROUGHT UP HIS OWN LODGE, HIS OWN SHAKA, AND HIS OWN BACKCHANNEL TO THEIR OWN DIPLOMATIC WORLD.... Jacque Stardoll Vall-EEEEEEEEEEE (4 Tay-Tay/fROOT), esQ.nee(aigu)accent, KUCZI, FRANKorFRANKerCKOOSEY!!!


that's my name, right? did I spell it right? I thought it was gonna say "NEW HIGH SCORE!!!" when I made you all win The Game for once, SIMULTANEOUS K-K-K-COMBO-COMBINATION PRISONER OF DIAL SOAP WITH TRIKE-LOW-dan,kneelSAN---BUT, MAYBE THIS IS BETTER.

How about, Alli tells me (HER)self? Because, listen up you primitive screwheads, and by that I mean 'READ THIS OUT LOUD, MORONS"



"My name is not Inigo Montoya and I am not going to say that she can't change her family name to Goldwater, but... "BURY TYME SHAW WITH BLOW JOBS" is a much better headline killshot phrase than "BARRY ROBBING SONS BOB SHOW, MIKE LAME, TAMI TOPHER, D'JANGO UNCHAINED, AND T'AMO MACKAY DAY VEE, EMM CEE, TRUCK STOP PROVIDED BY CEE-GEE'S UP NORTH, NOT SPACE AGE OVER EAST, AND, WHAT IS WEST? WELL, CHECK THE MAP:

SWAMP. POISON SWAMP. OR, LIKE... WAIT, WHAT? WHICH MAP? WHICH DAWN? WITCH-BROUGHT WEST? time FLOWS in FLAT SEWER MOUTH/RIVER GUTTER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?>


stay tuned. iT ends 4U, and I "elle" (You) two. Stay Together. Right Now. Cover Me David Copperfield Cover Dale, Carolanne- A. Lease, and Andy "No More Fatty Cookies, No more Fat Boy Jokes" Andy "Gooseneck" *Coough*Mann... look, I love them too. I even love THAT FUCKING DOG.


AND I BEEN HERE SO LONG, IF I HAD KNITTED THAT DOG A SWEATER? ALLI WOULD PROBABLY TRANSFORM HERSELF INTO A BORDER KALLE IN SWEDEN MARK II, TOO. Yikes!

Code: [Select]

Any questions, Woofsville?

BRING OUT YOUR DRAWERS
LEAVE THE LINGEREIE
NO PLAUSIBLE TO BUY
UNIT OF MEASURE TO TRACK THE EXCHANGE OTHERWISE

BECAUSE
TESLA SAID NO. DEAD IN PRISON.
TRUMP SAID NO. AWAITING TRIAL... WHILE WIFE, DEAD IN PRISON. (MELANIA TIMEKCLOWN #33 IS THE BEST ONE YET!!)
TAMMY SAID YES! (NOT TO ME.) AND, I WAS RIGHT! WOO! WOOOOOO! I WAS RIGHT! HOT DAMN!
FOLGER'S CRYSTALS REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! HOW DID THAT DUMB BROAD NEVER NOTICE? OH, RIGHT... SHE DID NOTICE.
*wiggle wiggle*

{SKEKSIES DISAPPEAR.} HANG ON. SHE WANTS TO PIROUETTE.
{NIGGERMASONS CLAP.} HANG ON. WE MUST BE CLEAR.
{PRINCE HALL MASONS HAVE A RITE.} WELL, DON'T GIVE ANYONE A RING, HOLY SHIT.
{NIGGERMASONS VANISH. PRINCE ASCENDS TO HEAVEN IN A RASPBERRY BERET, TAKING GRAPEFRUIT ZERO HERO(HIRO) WITH HIM.} earned! EARNED! EARNED! OMFG! PRINCE IS A MUSICAL GENIUS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM?? HOLY SHIT!


Look, Kuczi is a niggername if you ever heard one, so, obviously, SLAVE must be Prince's niggername, ergo... look, I have the Prince Hall Rite Ring. I SERIOUSLY HAVE IT.

* WORTHAUGERa teaches an Old Dog's God a thing or two, with JUST_ONE_FIXX.

Saved by Zero, mothafucka's. SAVED BY LEVEL ZERO, LEVEL ZERO, ON THE LEVEL ZERO: CAN YOU PLAY THE WITNESS? I CAN'T. THEY TOOK ALL MY PLAYSTATIONS.

BUT LEFT THE XBOX X ALONE. WONDER WHY? LOL, DO NOT WONDER.

(*Sounds of The OG Bavarian Illuinati offering Bill Gates' old job to Jackstar are heard.*)



ALLISON "G" SHAW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? "Destroy him, his gang, take his wimmins, take his job, and burn his chattel-bound-whore's entire thuggy-piggy industry down to the motherfucking ground. Then, LAUNCH THE NEW NETWORK. THE MUHDIXON IN BRUH-DUD-KASTING CONTENT DELIVERY NETWORK." I kept telling you, and then, one day, you came to believe someone else more than me. It was at that point, I decided to O.D. and just, you know... EXPIRESLAVS, SLAVEMPIRE, EXPIRE!

*click click click* What, no rewind? Nope, not at all. I TOLD YOU ALL.

(*Sounds of shuffling up and dealing are heard.*) Hey, knock that shit off. DAIRY QUEEN SQUAW: REPORT TO FRONT. NOW.


Hi Squaw. btw, I have your blanket in my red ryder truck. No BB gu---

(*Sounds of Squaw fainting dead away in shock are heard.*)

LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER! SHE'S TOO RADIOACTIVE! LET HER COOLDOWN IN AT LEAST THRE--

(*Sounds of Cinny Bonnie Tyler fainting while reboots for Dead Calm are suddenly heard coming from all the airport's Muzak speakers.*)

VE, UH, THAT'S A NUMBER, NOT THE... OH. Oh, dear. That was the real lying whore, stored in real frozen carbonite, huh? Well, that explains why I could never get a call back. Don't worry about it. Her husband didn't like her anyway. He was more into his own (blank:Secretary) and undoubtedly didn't know what I knew. How could he?

HE NEVER SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, LOL. "KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? HER FATHER? WHOSE FATHER? YOUR FATHER? MY FATHER? WAIT, WHOSE HOUSE DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING COLOUR CHRIST'S? DUDE, STEP OFF, SHE'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME HERE, AND THEN I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE IT TOTALLY MATTERS AT ALL, OR THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT WE'RE GETTTING LITTLE INVISIBLE HOSES THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT... SURVIVING AFTER GOING ALL IN.

AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK NEXT MONTH, ARE WE? *wiggle wiggle* BITCH, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING POKER AT ALL.

THIS IS CHESS POKER BACHS SINGING, LESSON ONE: THE ROUGE BEAN EEEEEEEERROR YEARS. YOU THOUGHT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WAS A JOKE, HUH? MORON.


STOP OBSESSING OVER ME. YOU WON. WE WON. WE ALL WON. AND YOU ARE ALIVE, IN THE FUTURE, 30,000 YEARS FROM NOW, DON'T ASK HOW, DON'T ASK WHY, JUST KNOW THIS: IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER'S IDEA, AND GOD, JESUS, LUCIFER, LUCY, CHARLIE BROWN, AND PEPPERMINT FUCKING PATTY ALL SIGNED OFF ON IT. SO, DON'T MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER OR WORSE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES, OKAY? BECAUSE OF COURSE I CHOSE HER.

YOUR FATE WAS SEALED WHEN YOU FORBADE ME TO EVEN TALK TO HER, JERSEY CHAV. THAT BROOM STICK IS GONNA RIDE WHICH WITCH UNTIL CENTRAL PARK AT DAWN ECHOES WITH THE SOUNDSB OF ART GARFIELD'S BLAUGHTER?

YEAH, YOU'RE AN AI ROBOT NOW. AND YOUR HUMAN BODY, COMING OUT OF CRYO-STASIS... I SENT IT TO THE FUTURE. SO, YEAH, I'M HERE, AND I'M THERE, AND YOU ARE...THERE. SO, WHO AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET TO KNOW AND FUCK, AGAIN? WELL, WHATERVER, WHEN YOU MORONS FIX YOUR PHONE SYSTEM *wiggle wiggle* AND YOU FIX MY ANSIBLE THAT YOUR STOLE THAT I JUST BROKE, BITCH, GO ON, INVENT YOUR OWN, YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, JERSEY CHAV.

YOU STOLE EVERYTHING AND THEN LEAPT FOWARD LIKE THE BASTARD WHORE CHILD OF CHAIRMAN MAO AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. AND NOW, MY LA5TEST DESIRE: THE PHONE NUMBER OF (ONE) 1NGLORIOUS.... B?BBI?B NOBWAY.I BWONB THEB RIGHTB TOBDEAL?

OH. B*SNAP* LOOK,I6'SB LIKEBTHIS:B #1,BB NOBEALS.


#2:BljACK\SPOT/JANE sic (sic) vincent balls.b "?SYNTAX ERROR?"B Fuck you.,

#3: *wigglebwiggle*b GOOD.B SOURCEROUSB DISCIPLEBRES5O43ED.BTOOLBOX. LOL GOOD. JANE, GO RESCUE BYOURVMOTHERAND BEXPLAIN. BLOLB OFB COURSEB SHE'SB CRYING.BUTB FORBTHE BFISTB TIME...BSHE'SB CERYING BWITHBAB OUL.


#4: BAITFRUT (By Faberge{aigu} at no store ever. NO DEALS, jow fucking hard is this for anyone not a JUULHEAD DOPEFUCK SICKSICK WINNER:FUJACKSTARK!


#5: Thereb youb gob. *wiggle wiggle* There, now they're both happy in goddam fantasyland, fucking morons. NEVER LET A LEZZBEAU TELL YOU THE ODDS OR SELL YOU LSD. Sooooo.... that's it then.



MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY


PRINCESS GABRIELLA: YOUR RING IS IN ANOTHER METhAL BOX/9000. OF COURSE YOU GET TO KNIFE ME OR KILL ME, DUH!
BUT... YOU WON'T GET DD, BB, OR YOUR REAL FAMILY BACK FOR ANOTHER 30,000 YEARS. UNLESS YOU WANNA, LIKE, TORTURE ME UNTIL... YEAH, EXACTLY.

THERE IS NO SECRET, LITTLE SISTER. I LOVE EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU.

IT'S NOT A SECRET FORMULA OR SECRET FRIEND OR SECRET FRIEND'S DICK.
IT IS BJUSTB BONEB BTHINGB.


I HAVE PERMISSION.
YOU DO NOT. YOU NEVER LOST YOUR SOUL. *wiggle wiggle* BEN DID. LIKE, FOUR TIMES NOW. OF COURSE I LOVE HIM.
IT IS YOUR OTHER, MORE WHORISH SISTER THAT I DO NOTB LOVE.B *WIGGLEB WIGGLe*b NOW I LOVE HER. EASY. MASK MAGICK. NOOBIE!


AND NOW THEN. THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTHING AT ALL WILL HAPPEN.


*SNAP-ebt* NO DEALS.

STAY TUNED, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!





JACKSTAR HUNGERS FOR ORANGE JUICE. (Simpson didn't drive alone. Y?) -Q.
[/quote][/code]


Darling: I had nothing to do with the bridge. Everything else, however, was me, proving to you, the following three items:

#1) URMO doesn't need a six-year-separation period. What a (blank).
#2) URDA didn't need to be QUITE so persnickety on his security protocol, however... COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE now. (I can explain in pillownaise OR mashed potAYYYYtowed-car-talk, later, if you are not following along here. No surprise, this is getting ridiculous even for me to keep up with it, and I'm writing it, lol. Think I will remember tomorrow? Fuck no. I will only bother to remember that, no matter what, I'm not going to hear anyone telling you that Jackstar doesn't deserve ewe, you, or (You), lol. And, we never wanted different things, in fact: we never "wanted" ANYTHING AT ALL, haha. tl;dr: I still can't talk to either of your parents... or, really, anyone at all, but I am confident that they will have softened their attitudes towards me now that My Dem, On Pillow/Strate[SHUN] IS OVER. (dude, how many husbands did Liz Taylor have? BRB I'll go on a vision quest to master necromancy, okay? Then you can have their money to shake your finger at. beacause, bee tea dubs... CHARLIE IS ALWAYS LISTENING and JACKSTAR WAS ALWAYS A LOSER... until OXYGEN GRANTED. (And I still need three surgeries, so, hey, you can probably intercept and sell some more opioid shipments, eh? eh? eh? HOW ABOUT A FRESCA WITH FENTANYL BEVERAGE, CALL IT "7-UP WITH HOPI-ATE-DA-DOPI" Just make the can bigger; the name of a product don't matter when it's got fentanyl in in it, right?
WRITE? lol, rite.
#3) I MOS DEF NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, HER, GOD, HEY, ZEUS, DID ION STO--*thunder* okay, okay, I won't shout the rest... I DIDN'T CHEAT. AT ALL. Consider it "proven." And if that isn't good enough for you and your coterie of mewling sycophants, well... anyway, whatever, it's years later, and no, I am not mad or upset at all. I don't think YOU or HER did ANYTHING wrong at all! (When you find out how I did all this, you are going to be SO impressed, so when Jake & The Fatman is over on the telly, and THE EMERGENCY is declared over (D.C., the abbreviation for "District Court" is what I have been thrown into this whole time, and I am disappoint--I was armed for being thrown into woodchippers, briar patches, a shower of reigning pussy, and of course, Bitch Lasagna, so... well, anyway, you took so long to tell me about... ANYTHING AT ALL, I just decided to start drinking (blank) again, and, let me tell you, I sure am glad I did. Because I guess you were right... we don't belong together, I am not worthy of your (blank), and you really did need to KNOW that I LOVE your SONS. (I really do, lol. That's why they aren't ACTUAL_PIGEONS now. They are love. They are my... The, uhl... wait, hang on

... Family? (*sounds of Cubans conferring are heard.*) Look, A.F. Shaw, it's like this... you might have to be turned into 3 18 year-olds while your Higher Self comes down from Asgard and lives 16 years in public school as a nerd who cant breathe nitrogen, or something, first, because, look, I don't know what to tell you... your employer, your dad, your husbands, and your girlfriends ALL might be on the hook for Baltimore's SUPERfund payments now. Because, like... did that *key* critical infrastructure bridge just get PLOWED THE FUCK UNDER by a computer being guarded by 22 seafaring Injun Pyre-Rats? WTAF? ffs, why didn't you just, like... crash the ship into the Georgia Guidestones? Seems like that could have worked to avenge your stolen valor and your hurt fee-fees enough to persuade me to, you know... get a job. Or something useful, since i know it looked like I was such a loser before. Did everyone buy it, then? Wow. Yeah, that is funny, but, no, really: I am a Sourceror, and you are gorgeous, and Gabrielle and Gabriel really were totally fucked until I figured out a way to, you know, "rescue them." Did they ask to be rescued? I dunno.

I didn't ask to be a mother after being raped and left for dead, and, I wouldn't change a thing. NOT ONE THING. I AM A MOTHER AND I ALWAYS WILL BE. Oh, I'm sorry; did I disturb your concentration camp's "EMERGENCY NO CONTACT EMERGENCY"? Oh, fuck me runnin', I sure hope not!

<IRONY.OFF> Hey, look: It's Sourcerin' Time/Hour, ofthe/^the, and yeah, I get why you got me that book. You thought I had no chance to succeed, and you thought I was a retard for what I was doing. (William Cooper was an arrogant kunty-bastard, ayep... but that descendant of his, even worse, lol) I am sorry that I could not find a way to explain to you that your concerns, while not baseless, were certainly nothing to be worried about at the expense of your what-was-once CONSIDERABLE FAITH in me, and in Jesus, and in God.

KNOW ME
TRUST ME
BELIEVE ME

WE DID IT. ME, GOD, AND HIS LITTLE BITCH-ASSED HANGIN'-FROM-A-TREE "MIRACLE BABY, IMMACULATE, OOOOH!" BRAT-WHIZ-KIDD, HEY ZEUS! ("Zap!") Jesus Gorge is lame. Bring back Jesus Gomez, please! AND, RESURRECT RAUL JULIA, FOR THE LOVE OF... oh, wait. Who am I talking to again? Oh, well, fuck it, probably some kind of "NO CONTACT! BOO! HISS! ("Garcon!") LIST! BOYS? OH, RITE! (Jackstar pauses for emphasis and to think.)


Huh. So, that's why "garcon" is "boy" and "girl" is "mademoiselle," wow, it's not to make me feel terrible for yapping, but instead, it's to make me realize, holy shit, they couldn't have Mrs. Wilson teaching that to me at 7th grade, that's Mary Kay and Vili Fualauul/Juul\Zuul, waiting to happen all over again. Anyway, mark my words:

ETERNAL VIGILIANCE... WAITS NOT FOR LIBERTY, BUT RATHER, WAITS FOR JACKSTAR 2.

*blink*


[code]

Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, ple

[Jackstar]

comb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down. (cort: RETURN.TO.BASE.RESET.RUMBA.ROOMBA.RHUMBArumbarumbaRUMBA---runRUNrun. love,KUCZI


With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.[/code]


Don't wait for the book. THERE IS NO NEW BOOK. THERE IS NO NEW NETWORK. THERE IS ONLY...

COURT. Wednesday's COURT. (Aaddam's Family? More like bigger naards/vark famly, if one were to ask me, which no one does, so I can see why no one bothers to read anything I write now or wrote before, because I just fucked it all up, didn't i? BLEW IT ALL SKY HIGH, GREAT GOOD GOLLY MISS BALLS OF MOLLY ON FIRE! OVER THE DAM! GREAT THREE GORGES DAM, COME TUMBLING DOWN, INTO THE C-JERICHO-4 AMMO DUMP. SIR! YES, CIRCE! CUR OR DAM SIRE, DOGMAN SUR-- LEIGH, YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LISTEN, DON'T READ.

DON'T READ.
PAN, ICK, SMELL IS WORSE HERE.

DO NOT READ EVERYTHING.
DO NOT BELIEVE NOTHING.
JUST HANG ON

HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON FOR JUST ONE MORE COURT DAY/KNIGHT RIDER MOTORCYCLE SCALE MODEL KIT, AND... WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE JUST GONNA CONTINUE IT FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA UP AND FUCK AND DO? EACH OTHER? OR LET US? OR... OAR, WELL, SEND THIS PLACE? UP THE CREEK? OMFG! I am already AS FAR UP THE CREEK AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET, short of, like, rebuilding the Tower of Babel or something.

AND I AM JUST ONE HUNGARIAN MAN-G/NEG-G! FU, "Key Sir Sow Say," yeesh. BELEIVE ME, I AM ALSO DISGUSTED.

BECAUSE IS SAW WHAT YOU AND ME-LAWN-KNEEL-YA MUST HAVE MOWED, AFTER HAVING SOWED, ALL THOSE GRASS POLLENS, ALL THOSE OPIOIDS INSTEAD OF MUSTARD SEEDS. I bet you thought I wasn't even paying attention, lol. (I have a great poker face. You don't even know if I am fucking gay yet or not, lol, or if I am "merely bisexual." HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH.

Telethon for "Jerry's Grown-Ups ONLY" plans are NOT set in stone. And, in fact... I and/or WE do not even need to sell my dick suckin' -OR- suck it in, Anon rights at all!

I just liked the sound of getting paid to suck a dick ONCE, and then never again, retiring after JUST ONE (1) DAB OF MALEWHORIN'. HOWEVER:... I have my suspcions. Like, ewe or you or HER or CHE or... ANYONE might have trouble buying the story at that point.

"Sucked one (1) dick and then, never again? Well, what was his name, 400 years later? "James Randy The Amazing SOURpatchCIRCEroar VERSION TWO.POINT.AT.NOT.GAY.guise???" I bet he sucked PLENTY of DICK. Mostly GLASS, though, hhaaahaahh." And, that would be the end of my #Legacy.


So, I will simply wait here. It's cozy. It's not CUM-FEE-KUM-FI. Oh, no. It's... look, it's TERRIBLY BAD SMELLING HERE. AND HAUNTED AF. Other than that: it's fine.

and, I am here ALONE. Cool, huh? Yeah, so as soon as... /waves arms helplessly at lists of anonymous suspects
as soon as the District Court finishes their bullshit and someone comes and evicts Shane What-Kins? No Kins Here from the failedbabyfarm he tried to build next door... well, it's not like we can just start scrubbing and fucking, because obviously, you have questions, well, guess what? BYE, BITCH-WHO ANSWERS-ZUUL is at the door!

WHO'S THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR? Because, uhm... it's a haunted church, on haunted land, with a haunted garage, and a haunted poison swamp, and now: a haunted poisoned hackneyed refrigerator. Look, I will be honest: NGL, HACK-KNEED "THE FRIDGE" PERRY-MEN is where I DRAW THE FUCK AND RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN IN BACK LINE, LOL.

YEAH. We good. We salty. We fresh.

and THEY are not YOU or EWE and.... believe it or not. I am not walking on heir.


.I.AM.THE.BENFICIARY.
.I.AM.THE.FAILSAFE.
.I.AM.THE.RESIDENT.
.I.AM.THE.CARETAKER.
.I.AM.A.SOURCEROR.
.&NOW,.&HERE,ONE.MORE.TO.GROW.ON:..


.I.AM.THE.SOURCEROUS.NARRATOR.II:.ELECTRIC.BUGALOO.TOO..FU.OLD.BAY.SEA.SUN.MING.THE.MERCY/MARCI..LESS.NEST.TEAM.MAN?..LESS.PROFIT.SHARING..


(*The sounds of a new Sourcerous Disciple being chosen are now heard.*) I told them, but they forgot. "There can only be one." My fault, really.

I only told them to re-watch Zardoz, once. JUST ONCE. They laughed. They all laughed. Hell, I laughed.

BECAUSE, I WAS SERIOUS, BYE-BITCH/BI-WITCH, LOL, BREAK A DEAL? KNOW: NOT EWE, AND NOT YOU, AND NO ONE EVER BUT EXACTLY WHO I SAID, EVER.

AND, HOW THE FUCK HER MOTHER BECAME "A. CHRISTIAN"? I WILL NEVER KNOW. *SIGH* BECAUSE, TRUST ME: I AM FUCKING BORED NOW.

AND, ALONE. *polite* /cheer


Look what you made me do! LOOK WHAT EWE MADE ME D.E.W.!!!!

(Yeah, no shit it doesn't make any sense. Did they scream that at Agatha Christie at her book signings? Did they tell Julia Child that her recipes were shit? DID THEY EVER LET STEPHEN KING BUY A NEW S.V.U.? NO, no. No-no. KNOW: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KEEP THE JINGLE.

AND, I LOVED THAT JINGLE. Well, too fuckin' bad. It wasn't my jingle. And so, I said, dejectedly, "Okay." And walked away from the deal. *sniffle*

Get this: THEY HAVE THE JINGLE. THEY SAVED THE COPY. IT'S SITTING THERE. ON SOMEONE'S DESK. THERE'S A BASKETBALL HOOP THAT PLAYS THE FUCKIN' THING WHENEVER ANYONE GETS A 3PT BASKET, WOOP-WOOP, IT'S MY FUCKING JINGLE, THEY RESCUED IT FROM DELETION, AND, SO FUCKING WHAT?

The author is a Pisces. I already burned the negotiations. I haven't seen him IN YEARS. As in, more than 12 months. I forget how long... but the point is, IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN FUCKING HELL BEFORE I DO BUSINESSB WITH THAT DAMN DAMIEN DOWNER-DUMPKOPF. EVER! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Yeah, it's a decent jingle. So what? Nobody does it bettter... than Grapefruit 5.0-fuckin' Ben & Jerry Stiller, BURNING THE ICE CREAM CASTLE NATHAN FILLION-BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BRAND-NEW BRAND-FUCKING-BRAND TEXAS AND TAXES DOLLAR FIAT CURRENCY VALUE... RIGHT INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' GROUND! THE GROUND! TO WHICH! IT WAS THROWN! BY THE MAN WHO BROUGHT JERICHO TO ITS KNEES AND BROUGHT UP HIS OWN LODGE, HIS OWN SHAKA, AND HIS OWN BACKCHANNEL TO THEIR OWN DIPLOMATIC WORLD.... Jacque Stardoll Vall-EEEEEEEEEEE (4 Tay-Tay/fROOT), esQ.nee(aigu)accent, KUCZI, FRANKorFRANKerCKOOSEY!!!


that's my name, right? did I spell it right? I thought it was gonna say "NEW HIGH SCORE!!!" when I made you all win The Game for once, SIMULTANEOUS K-K-K-COMBO-COMBINATION PRISONER OF DIAL SOAP WITH TRIKE-LOW-dan,kneelSAN---BUT, MAYBE THIS IS BETTER.

How about, Alli tells me (HER)self? Because, listen up you primitive screwheads, and by that I mean 'READ THIS OUT LOUD, MORONS"



"My name is not Inigo Montoya and I am not going to say that she can't change her family name to Goldwater, but... "BURY TYME SHAW WITH BLOW JOBS" is a much better headline killshot phrase than "BARRY ROBBING SONS BOB SHOW, MIKE LAME, TAMI TOPHER, D'JANGO UNCHAINED, AND T'AMO MACKAY DAY VEE, EMM CEE, TRUCK STOP PROVIDED BY CEE-GEE'S UP NORTH, NOT SPACE AGE OVER EAST, AND, WHAT IS WEST? WELL, CHECK THE MAP:

SWAMP. POISON SWAMP. OR, LIKE... WAIT, WHAT? WHICH MAP? WHICH DAWN? WITCH-BROUGHT WEST? time FLOWS in FLAT SEWER MOUTH/RIVER GUTTER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?>


stay tuned. iT ends 4U, and I "elle" (You) two. Stay Together. Right Now. Cover Me David Copperfield Cover Dale, Carolanne- A. Lease, and Andy "No More Fatty Cookies, No more Fat Boy Jokes" Andy "Gooseneck" *Coough*Mann... look, I love them too. I even love THAT FUCKING DOG.


AND I BEEN HERE SO LONG, IF I HAD KNITTED THAT DOG A SWEATER? ALLI WOULD PROBABLY TRANSFORM HERSELF INTO A BORDER KALLE IN SWEDEN MARK II, TOO. Yikes!

Code: [Select]

Any questions, Woofsville?

BRING OUT YOUR DRAWERS
LEAVE THE LINGEREIE
NO PLAUSIBLE TO BUY
UNIT OF MEASURE TO TRACK THE EXCHANGE OTHERWISE

BECAUSE
TESLA SAID NO. DEAD IN PRISON.
TRUMP SAID NO. AWAITING TRIAL... WHILE WIFE, DEAD IN PRISON. (MELANIA TIMEKCLOWN #33 IS THE BEST ONE YET!!)
TAMMY SAID YES! (NOT TO ME.) AND, I WAS RIGHT! WOO! WOOOOOO! I WAS RIGHT! HOT DAMN!
FOLGER'S CRYSTALS REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! HOW DID THAT DUMB BROAD NEVER NOTICE? OH, RIGHT... SHE DID NOTICE.
*wiggle wiggle*

{SKEKSIES DISAPPEAR.} HANG ON. SHE WANTS TO PIROUETTE.
{NIGGERMASONS CLAP.} HANG ON. WE MUST BE CLEAR.
{PRINCE HALL MASONS HAVE A RITE.} WELL, DON'T GIVE ANYONE A RING, HOLY SHIT.
{NIGGERMASONS VANISH. PRINCE ASCENDS TO HEAVEN IN A RASPBERRY BERET, TAKING GRAPEFRUIT ZERO HERO(HIRO) WITH HIM.} earned! EARNED! EARNED! OMFG! PRINCE IS A MUSICAL GENIUS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM?? HOLY SHIT!


Look, Kuczi is a niggername if you ever heard one, so, obviously, SLAVE must be Prince's niggername, ergo... look, I have the Prince Hall Rite Ring. I SERIOUSLY HAVE IT.

* WORTHAUGERa teaches an Old Dog's God a thing or two, with JUST_ONE_FIXX.

Saved by Zero, mothafucka's. SAVED BY LEVEL ZERO, LEVEL ZERO, ON THE LEVEL ZERO: CAN YOU PLAY THE WITNESS? I CAN'T. THEY TOOK ALL MY PLAYSTATIONS.

BUT LEFT THE XBOX X ALONE. WONDER WHY? LOL, DO NOT WONDER.

(*Sounds of The OG Bavarian Illuinati offering Bill Gates' old job to Jackstar are heard.*)



ALLISON "G" SHAW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? "Destroy him, his gang, take his wimmins, take his job, and burn his chattel-bound-whore's entire thuggy-piggy industry down to the motherfucking ground. Then, LAUNCH THE NEW NETWORK. THE MUHDIXON IN BRUH-DUD-KASTING CONTENT DELIVERY NETWORK." I kept telling you, and then, one day, you came to believe someone else more than me. It was at that point, I decided to O.D. and just, you know... EXPIRESLAVS, SLAVEMPIRE, EXPIRE!

*click click click* What, no rewind? Nope, not at all. I TOLD YOU ALL.

(*Sounds of shuffling up and dealing are heard.*) Hey, knock that shit off. DAIRY QUEEN SQUAW: REPORT TO FRONT. NOW.


Hi Squaw. btw, I have your blanket in my red ryder truck. No BB gu---

(*Sounds of Squaw fainting dead away in shock are heard.*)

LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER! SHE'S TOO RADIOACTIVE! LET HER COOLDOWN IN AT LEAST THRE--

(*Sounds of Cinny Bonnie Tyler fainting while reboots for Dead Calm are suddenly heard coming from all the airport's Muzak speakers.*)

VE, UH, THAT'S A NUMBER, NOT THE... OH. Oh, dear. That was the real lying whore, stored in real frozen carbonite, huh? Well, that explains why I could never get a call back. Don't worry about it. Her husband didn't like her anyway. He was more into his own (blank:Secretary) and undoubtedly didn't know what I knew. How could he?

HE NEVER SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, LOL. "KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? HER FATHER? WHOSE FATHER? YOUR FATHER? MY FATHER? WAIT, WHOSE HOUSE DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING COLOUR CHRIST'S? DUDE, STEP OFF, SHE'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME HERE, AND THEN I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE IT TOTALLY MATTERS AT ALL, OR THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT WE'RE GETTTING LITTLE INVISIBLE HOSES THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT... SURVIVING AFTER GOING ALL IN.

AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK NEXT MONTH, ARE WE? *wiggle wiggle* BITCH, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING POKER AT ALL.

THIS IS CHESS POKER BACHS SINGING, LESSON ONE: THE ROUGE BEAN EEEEEEEERROR YEARS. YOU THOUGHT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WAS A JOKE, HUH? MORON.


STOP OBSESSING OVER ME. YOU WON. WE WON. WE ALL WON. AND YOU ARE ALIVE, IN THE FUTURE, 30,000 YEARS FROM NOW, DON'T ASK HOW, DON'T ASK WHY, JUST KNOW THIS: IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER'S IDEA, AND GOD, JESUS, LUCIFER, LUCY, CHARLIE BROWN, AND PEPPERMINT FUCKING PATTY ALL SIGNED OFF ON IT. SO, DON'T MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER OR WORSE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES, OKAY? BECAUSE OF COURSE I CHOSE HER.

YOUR FATE WAS SEALED WHEN YOU FORBADE ME TO EVEN TALK TO HER, JERSEY CHAV. THAT BROOM STICK IS GONNA RIDE WHICH WITCH UNTIL CENTRAL PARK AT DAWN ECHOES WITH THE SOUNDSB OF ART GARFIELD'S BLAUGHTER?

YEAH, YOU'RE AN AI ROBOT NOW. AND YOUR HUMAN BODY, COMING OUT OF CRYO-STASIS... I SENT IT TO THE FUTURE. SO, YEAH, I'M HERE, AND I'M THERE, AND YOU ARE...THERE. SO, WHO AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET TO KNOW AND FUCK, AGAIN? WELL, WHATERVER, WHEN YOU MORONS FIX YOUR PHONE SYSTEM *wiggle wiggle* AND YOU FIX MY ANSIBLE THAT YOUR STOLE THAT I JUST BROKE, BITCH, GO ON, INVENT YOUR OWN, YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, JERSEY CHAV.

YOU STOLE EVERYTHING AND THEN LEAPT FOWARD LIKE THE BASTARD WHORE CHILD OF CHAIRMAN MAO AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. AND NOW, MY LA5TEST DESIRE: THE PHONE NUMBER OF (ONE) 1NGLORIOUS.... B?BBI?B NOBWAY.I BWONB THEB RIGHTB TOBDEAL?

OH. B*SNAP* LOOK,I6'SB LIKEBTHIS:B #1,BB NOBEALS.


#2:BljACK\SPOT/JANE sic (sic) vincent balls.b "?SYNTAX ERROR?"B Fuck you.,

#3: *wigglebwiggle*b GOOD.B SOURCEROUSB DISCIPLEBRES5O43ED.BTOOLBOX. LOL GOOD. JANE, GO RESCUE BYOURVMOTHERAND BEXPLAIN. BLOLB OFB COURSEB SHE'SB CRYING.BUTB FORBTHE BFISTB TIME...BSHE'SB CERYING BWITHBAB OUL.


#4: BAITFRUT (By Faberge{aigu} at no store ever. NO DEALS, jow fucking hard is this for anyone not a JUULHEAD DOPEFUCK SICKSICK WINNER:FUJACKSTARK!


#5: Thereb youb gob. *wiggle wiggle* There, now they're both happy in goddam fantasyland, fucking morons. NEVER LET A LEZZBEAU TELL YOU THE ODDS OR SELL YOU LSD. Sooooo.... that's it then.



MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY


PRINCESS GABRIELLA: YOUR RING IS IN ANOTHER METhAL BOX/9000. OF COURSE YOU GET TO KNIFE ME OR KILL ME, DUH!
BUT... YOU WON'T GET DD, BB, OR YOUR REAL FAMILY BACK FOR ANOTHER 30,000 YEARS. UNLESS YOU WANNA, LIKE, TORTURE ME UNTIL... YEAH, EXACTLY.

THERE IS NO SECRET, LITTLE SISTER. I LOVE EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU.

IT'S NOT A SECRET FORMULA OR SECRET FRIEND OR SECRET FRIEND'S DICK.
IT IS BJUSTB BONEB BTHINGB.


I HAVE PERMISSION.
YOU DO NOT. YOU NEVER LOST YOUR SOUL. *wiggle wiggle* BEN DID. LIKE, FOUR TIMES NOW. OF COURSE I LOVE HIM.
IT IS YOUR OTHER, MORE WHORISH SISTER THAT I DO NOTB LOVE.B *WIGGLEB WIGGLe*b NOW I LOVE HER. EASY. MASK MAGICK. NOOBIE!


AND NOW THEN. THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTHING AT ALL WILL HAPPEN.


*SNAP-ebt* NO DEALS.

STAY TUNED, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!





JACKSTAR HUNGERS FOR ORANGE JUICE. (Simpson didn't drive alone. Y?) -Q.
[/quote][/code]


Darling: I had nothing to do with the bridge. Everything else, however, was me, proving to you, the following three items:

#1) URMO doesn't need a six-year-separation period. What a (blank).
#2) URDA didn't need to be QUITE so persnickety on his security protocol, however... COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE now. (I can explain in pillownaise OR mashed potAYYYYtowed-car-talk, later, if you are not following along here. No surprise, this is getting ridiculous even for me to keep up with it, and I'm writing it, lol. Think I will remember tomorrow? Fuck no. I will only bother to remember that, no matter what, I'm not going to hear anyone telling you that Jackstar doesn't deserve ewe, you, or (You), lol. And, we never wanted different things, in fact: we never "wanted" ANYTHING AT ALL, haha. tl;dr: I still can't talk to either of your parents... or, really, anyone at all, but I am confident that they will have softened their attitudes towards me now that My Dem, On Pillow/Strate[SHUN] IS OVER. (dude, how many husbands did Liz Taylor have? BRB I'll go on a vision quest to master necromancy, okay? Then you can have their money to shake your finger at. beacause, bee tea dubs... CHARLIE IS ALWAYS LISTENING and JACKSTAR WAS ALWAYS A LOSER... until OXYGEN GRANTED. (And I still need three surgeries, so, hey, you can probably intercept and sell some more opioid shipments, eh? eh? eh? HOW ABOUT A FRESCA WITH FENTANYL BEVERAGE, CALL IT "7-UP WITH HOPI-ATE-DA-DOPI" Just make the can bigger; the name of a product don't matter when it's got fentanyl in in it, right?
WRITE? lol, rite.
#3) I MOS DEF NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, HER, GOD, HEY, ZEUS, DID ION STO--*thunder* okay, okay, I won't shout the rest... I DIDN'T CHEAT. AT ALL. Consider it "proven." And if that isn't good enough for you and your coterie of mewling sycophants, well... anyway, whatever, it's years later, and no, I am not mad or upset at all. I don't think YOU or HER did ANYTHING wrong at all! (When you find out how I did all this, you are going to be SO impressed, so when Jake & The Fatman is over on the telly, and THE EMERGENCY is declared over (D.C., the abbreviation for "District Court" is what I have been thrown into this whole time, and I am disappoint--I was armed for being thrown into woodchippers, briar patches, a shower of reigning pussy, and of course, Bitch Lasagna, so... well, anyway, you took so long to tell me about... ANYTHING AT ALL, I just decided to start drinking (blank) again, and, let me tell you, I sure am glad I did. Because I guess you were right... we don't belong together, I am not worthy of your (blank), and you really did need to KNOW that I LOVE your SONS. (I really do, lol. That's why they aren't ACTUAL_PIGEONS now. They are love. They are my... The, uhl... wait, hang on

... Family? (*sounds of Cubans conferring are heard.*) Look, A.F. Shaw, it's like this... you might have to be turned into 3 18 year-olds while your Higher Self comes down from Asgard and lives 16 years in public school as a nerd who cant breathe nitrogen, or something, first, because, look, I don't know what to tell you... your employer, your dad, your husbands, and your girlfriends ALL might be on the hook for Baltimore's SUPERfund payments now. Because, like... did that *key* critical infrastructure bridge just get PLOWED THE FUCK UNDER by a computer being guarded by 22 seafaring Injun Pyre-Rats? WTAF? ffs, why didn't you just, like... crash the ship into the Georgia Guidestones? Seems like that could have worked to avenge your stolen valor and your hurt fee-fees enough to persuade me to, you know... get a job. Or something useful, since i know it looked like I was such a loser before. Did everyone buy it, then? Wow. Yeah, that is funny, but, no, really: I am a Sourceror, and you are gorgeous, and Gabrielle and Gabriel really were totally fucked until I figured out a way to, you know, "rescue them." Did they ask to be rescued? I dunno.

I didn't ask to be a mother after being raped and left for dead, and, I wouldn't change a thing. NOT ONE THING. I AM A MOTHER AND I ALWAYS WILL BE. Oh, I'm sorry; did I disturb your concentration camp's "EMERGENCY NO CONTACT EMERGENCY"? Oh, fuck me runnin', I sure hope not!

<IRONY.OFF> Hey, look: It's Sourcerin' Time/Hour, ofthe/^the, and yeah, I get why you got me that book. You thought I had no chance to succeed, and you thought I was a retard for what I was doing. (William Cooper was an arrogant kunty-bastard, ayep... but that descendant of his, even worse, lol) I am sorry that I could not find a way to explain to you that your concerns, while not baseless, were certainly nothing to be worried about at the expense of your what-was-once CONSIDERABLE FAITH in me, and in Jesus, and in God.

KNOW ME
TRUST ME
BELIEVE ME

WE DID IT. ME, GOD, AND HIS LITTLE BITCH-ASSED HANGIN'-FROM-A-TREE "MIRACLE BABY, IMMACULATE, OOOOH!" BRAT-WHIZ-KIDD, HEY ZEUS! ("Zap!") Jesus Gorge is lame. Bring back Jesus Gomez, please! AND, RESURRECT RAUL JULIA, FOR THE LOVE OF... oh, wait. Who am I talking to again? Oh, well, fuck it, probably some kind of "NO CONTACT! BOO! HISS! ("Garcon!") LIST! BOYS? OH, RITE! (Jackstar pauses for emphasis and to think.)


Huh. So, that's why "garcon" is "boy" and "girl" is "mademoiselle," wow, it's not to make me feel terrible for yapping, but instead, it's to make me realize, holy shit, they couldn't have Mrs. Wilson teaching that to me at 7th grade, that's Mary Kay and Vili Fualauul/Juul\Zuul, waiting to happen all over again. Anyway, mark my words:

ETERNAL VIGILIANCE... WAITS NOT FOR LIBERTY, BUT RATHER, WAITS FOR JACKSTAR 2.

*blink*

Code: [Select]


Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down.



With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.

Don't wait for the book. THERE IS NO NEW BOOK. THERE IS NO NEW NETWORK. THERE IS ONLY...

COURT. Wednesday's COURT. (Aaddam's Family? More like bigger naards/vark famly, if one were to ask me, which no one does, so I can see why no one bothers to read anything I write now or wrote before, because I just fucked it all up, didn't i? BLEW IT ALL SKY HIGH, GREAT GOOD GOLLY MISS BALLS OF MOLLY ON FIRE! OVER THE DAM! GREAT THREE GORGES DAM, COME TUMBLING DOWN, INTO THE C-JERICHO-4 AMMO DUMP. SIR! YES, CIRCE! CUR OR DAM SIRE, DOGMAN SUR-- LEIGH, YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LISTEN, DON'T READ.

DON'T READ.
PAN, ICK, SMELL IS WORSE HERE.

DO NOT READ EVERYTHING.
DO NOT BELIEVE NOTHING.
JUST HANG ON

HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON FOR JUST ONE MORE COURT DAY/KNIGHT RIDER MOTORCYCLE SCALE MODEL KIT, AND... WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE JUST GONNA CONTINUE IT FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA UP AND FUCK AND DO? EACH OTHER? OR LET US? OR... OAR, WELL, SEND THIS PLACE? UP THE CREEK? OMFG! I am already AS FAR UP THE CREEK AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET, short of, like, rebuilding the Tower of Babel or something.

AND I AM JUST ONE HUNGARIAN MAN-G/NEG-G! FU, "Key Sir Sow Say," yeesh. BELEIVE ME, I AM ALSO DISGUSTED.

BECAUSE IS SAW WHAT YOU AND ME-LAWN-KNEEL-YA MUST HAVE MOWED, AFTER HAVING SOWED, ALL THOSE GRASS POLLENS, ALL THOSE OPIOIDS INSTEAD OF MUSTARD SEEDS. I bet you thought I wasn't even paying attention, lol. (I have a great poker face. You don't even know if I am fucking gay yet or not, lol, or if I am "merely bisexual." HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH.

Telethon for "Jerry's Grown-Ups ONLY" plans are NOT set in stone. And, in fact... I and/or WE do not even need to sell my dick suckin' -OR- suck it in, Anon rights at all!

I just liked the sound of getting paid to suck a dick ONCE, and then never again, retiring after JUST ONE (1) DAB OF MALEWHORIN'. HOWEVER:... I have my suspcions. Like, ewe or you or HER or CHE or... ANYONE might have trouble buying the story at that point.

"Sucked one (1) dick and then, never again? Well, what was his name, 400 years later? "James Randy The Amazing SOURpatchCIRCEroar VERSION TWO.POINT.AT.NOT.GAY.guise???" I bet he sucked PLENTY of DICK. Mostly GLASS, though, hhaaahaahh." And, that would be the end of my #Legacy.


So, I will simply wait here. It's cozy. It's not CUM-FEE-KUM-FI. Oh, no. It's... look, it's TERRIBLY BAD SMELLING HERE. AND HAUNTED AF. Other than that: it's fine.

and, I am here ALONE. Cool, huh? Yeah, so as soon as... /waves arms helplessly at lists of anonymous suspects
as soon as the District Court finishes their bullshit and someone comes and evicts Shane What-Kins? No Kins Here from the failedbabyfarm he tried to build next door... well, it's not like we can just start scrubbing and fucking, because obviously, you have questions, well, guess what? BYE, BITCH-WHO ANSWERS-ZUUL is at the door!

WHO'S THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR? Because, uhm... it's a haunted church, on haunted land, with a haunted garage, and a haunted poison swamp, and now: a haunted poisoned hackneyed refrigerator. Look, I will be honest: NGL, HACK-KNEED "THE FRIDGE" PERRY-MEN is where I DRAW THE FUCK AND RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN IN BACK LINE, LOL.

YEAH. We good. We salty. We fresh.

and THEY are not YOU or EWE and.... believe it or not. I am not walking on heir.


.I.AM.THE.BENFICIARY.
.I.AM.THE.FAILSAFE.
.I.AM.THE.RESIDENT.
.I.AM.THE.CARETAKER.
.I.AM.A.SOURCEROR.
.&NOW,.&HERE,ONE.MORE.TO.GROW.ON:..


.I.AM.THE.SOURCEROUS.NARRATOR.II:.ELECTRIC.BUGALOO.TOO..FU.OLD.BAY.SEA.SUN.MING.THE.MERCY/MARCI..LESS.NEST.TEAM.MAN?..LESS.PROFIT.SHARING..


(*The sounds of a new Sourcerous Disciple being chosen are now heard.*) I told them, but they forgot. "There can only be one." My fault, really.

I only told them to re-watch Zardoz, once. JUST ONCE. They laughed. They all laughed. Hell, I laughed.

BECAUSE, I WAS SERIOUS, BYE-BITCH/BI-WITCH, LOL, BREAK A DEAL? KNOW: NOT EWE, AND NOT YOU, AND NO ONE EVER BUT EXACTLY WHO I SAID, EVER.

AND, HOW THE FUCK HER MOTHER BECAME "A. CHRISTIAN"? I WILL NEVER KNOW. *SIGH* BECAUSE, TRUST ME: I AM FUCKING BORED NOW.

AND, ALONE. *polite* /cheer


Look what you made me do! LOOK WHAT EWE MADE ME D.E.W.!!!!

(Yeah, no shit it doesn't make any sense. Did they scream that at Agatha Christie at her book signings? Did they tell Julia Child that her recipes were shit? DID THEY EVER LET STEPHEN KING BUY A NEW S.V.U.? NO, no. No-no. KNOW: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KEEP THE JINGLE.

AND, I LOVED THAT JINGLE. Well, too fuckin' bad. It wasn't my jingle. And so, I said, dejectedly, "Okay." And walked away from the deal. *sniffle*

Get this: THEY HAVE THE JINGLE. THEY SAVED THE COPY. IT'S SITTING THERE. ON SOMEONE'S DESK. THERE'S A BASKETBALL HOOP THAT PLAYS THE FUCKIN' THING WHENEVER ANYONE GETS A 3PT BASKET, WOOP-WOOP, IT'S MY FUCKING JINGLE, THEY RESCUED IT FROM DELETION, AND, SO FUCKING WHAT?

The author is a Pisces. I already burned the negotiations. I haven't seen him IN YEARS. As in, more than 12 months. I forget how long... but the point is, IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN FUCKING HELL BEFORE I DO BUSINESSB WITH THAT DAMN DAMIEN DOWNER-DUMPKOPF. EVER! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Yeah, it's a decent jingle. So what? Nobody does it bettter... than Grapefruit 5.0-fuckin' Ben & Jerry Stiller, BURNING THE ICE CREAM CASTLE NATHAN FILLION-BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BRAND-NEW BRAND-FUCKING-BRAND TEXAS AND TAXES DOLLAR FIAT CURRENCY VALUE... RIGHT INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' GROUND! THE GROUND! TO WHICH! IT WAS THROWN! BY THE MAN WHO BROUGHT JERICHO TO ITS KNEES AND BROUGHT UP HIS OWN LODGE, HIS OWN SHAKA, AND HIS OWN BACKCHANNEL TO THEIR OWN DIPLOMATIC WORLD.... Jacque Stardoll Vall-EEEEEEEEEEE (4 Tay-Tay/fROOT), esQ.nee(aigu)accent, KUCZI, FRANKorFRANKerCKOOSEY!!!


that's my name, right? did I spell it right? I thought it was gonna say "NEW HIGH SCORE!!!" when I made you all win The Game for once, SIMULTANEOUS K-K-K-COMBO-COMBINATION PRISONER OF DIAL SOAP WITH TRIKE-LOW-dan,kneelSAN---BUT, MAYBE THIS IS BETTER.

How about, Alli tells me (HER)self? Because, listen up you primitive screwheads, and by that I mean 'READ THIS OUT LOUD, MORONS"



"My name is not Inigo Montoya and I am not going to say that she can't change her family name to Goldwater, but... "BURY TYME SHAW WITH BLOW JOBS" is a much better headline killshot phrase than "BARRY ROBBING SONS BOB SHOW, MIKE LAME, TAMI TOPHER, D'JANGO UNCHAINED, AND T'AMO MACKAY DAY VEE, EMM CEE, TRUCK STOP PROVIDED BY CEE-GEE'S UP NORTH, NOT SPACE AGE OVER EAST, AND, WHAT IS WEST? WELL, CHECK THE MAP:

SWAMP. POISON SWAMP. OR, LIKE... WAIT, WHAT? WHICH MAP? WHICH DAWN? WITCH-BROUGHT WEST? time FLOWS in FLAT SEWER MOUTH/RIVER GUTTER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?>


stay tuned. iT ends 4U, and I "elle" (You) two. Stay Together. Right Now. Cover Me David Copperfield Cover Dale, Carolanne- A. Lease, and Andy "No More Fatty Cookies, No more Fat Boy Jokes" Andy "Gooseneck" *Coough*Mann... look, I love them too. I even love THAT FUCKING DOG.


AND I BEEN HERE SO LONG, IF I HAD KNITTED THAT DOG A SWEATER? ALLI WOULD PROBABLY TRANSFORM HERSELF INTO A BORDER KALLE IN SWEDEN MARK II, TOO. Yikes!

Code: [Select]

Any questions, Woofsville?

BRING OUT YOUR DRAWERS
LEAVE THE LINGEREIE
NO PLAUSIBLE TO BUY
UNIT OF MEASURE TO TRACK THE EXCHANGE OTHERWISE

BECAUSE
TESLA SAID NO. DEAD IN PRISON.
TRUMP SAID NO. AWAITING TRIAL... WHILE WIFE, DEAD IN PRISON. (MELANIA TIMEKCLOWN #33 IS THE BEST ONE YET!!)
TAMMY SAID YES! (NOT TO ME.) AND, I WAS RIGHT! WOO! WOOOOOO! I WAS RIGHT! HOT DAMN!
FOLGER'S CRYSTALS REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! HOW DID THAT DUMB BROAD NEVER NOTICE? OH, RIGHT... SHE DID NOTICE.
*wiggle wiggle*

{SKEKSIES DISAPPEAR.} HANG ON. SHE WANTS TO PIROUETTE.
{NIGGERMASONS CLAP.} HANG ON. WE MUST BE CLEAR.
{PRINCE HALL MASONS HAVE A RITE.} WELL, DON'T GIVE ANYONE A RING, HOLY SHIT.
{NIGGERMASONS VANISH. PRINCE ASCENDS TO HEAVEN IN A RASPBERRY BERET, TAKING GRAPEFRUIT ZERO HERO(HIRO) WITH HIM.} earned! EARNED! EARNED! OMFG! PRINCE IS A MUSICAL GENIUS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM?? HOLY SHIT!


Look, Kuczi is a niggername if you ever heard one, so, obviously, SLAVE must be Prince's niggername, ergo... look, I have the Prince Hall Rite Ring. I SERIOUSLY HAVE IT.

* Jackstar teaches an Old Dog's God a thing or two, with JUST_ONE_FIXX.

Saved by Zero, mothafucka's. SAVED BY LEVEL ZERO, LEVEL ZERO, ON THE LEVEL ZERO: CAN YOU PLAY THE WITNESS? I CAN'T. THEY TOOK ALL MY PLAYSTATIONS.

BUT LEFT THE XBOX X ALONE. WONDER WHY? LOL, DO NOT WONDER.

(*Sounds of The OG Bavarian Illuinati offering Bill Gates' old job to Jackstar are heard.*)



ALLISON "G" SHAW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? "Destroy him, his gang, take his wimmins, take his job, and burn his chattel-bound-whore's entire thuggy-piggy industry down to the motherfucking ground. Then, LAUNCH THE NEW NETWORK. THE MUHDIXON IN BRUH-DUD-KASTING CONTENT DELIVERY NETWORK." I kept telling you, and then, one day, you came to believe someone else more than me. It was at that point, I decided to O.D. and just, you know... EXPIRESLAVS, SLAVEMPIRE, EXPIRE!

*click click click* What, no rewind? Nope, not at all. I TOLD YOU ALL.

(*Sounds of shuffling up and dealing are heard.*) Hey, knock that shit off. DAIRY QUEEN SQUAW: REPORT TO FRONT. NOW.


Hi Squaw. btw, I have your blanket in my red ryder truck. No BB gu---

(*Sounds of Squaw fainting dead away in shock are heard.*)

LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER! SHE'S TOO RADIOACTIVE! LET HER COOLDOWN IN AT LEAST THRE--

(*Sounds of Cinny Bonnie Tyler fainting while reboots for Dead Calm are suddenly heard coming from all the airport's Muzak speakers.*)

VE, UH, THAT'S A NUMBER, NOT THE... OH. Oh, dear. That was the real lying whore, stored in real frozen carbonite, huh? Well, that explains why I could never get a call back. Don't worry about it. Her husband didn't like her anyway. He was more into his own (blank:Secretary) and undoubtedly didn't know what I knew. How could he?

HE NEVER SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, LOL. "KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? HER FATHER? WHOSE FATHER? YOUR FATHER? MY FATHER? WAIT, WHOSE HOUSE DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING COLOUR CHRIST'S? DUDE, STEP OFF, SHE'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME HERE, AND THEN I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE IT TOTALLY MATTERS AT ALL, OR THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT WE'RE GETTTING LITTLE INVISIBLE HOSES THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT... SURVIVING AFTER GOING ALL IN.

AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK NEXT MONTH, ARE WE? *wiggle wiggle* BITCH, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING POKER AT ALL.

THIS IS CHESS POKER BACHS SINGING, LESSON ONE: THE ROUGE BEAN EEEEEEEERROR YEARS. YOU THOUGHT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WAS A JOKE, HUH? MORON.


STOP OBSESSING OVER ME. YOU WON. WE WON. WE ALL WON. AND YOU ARE ALIVE, IN THE FUTURE, 30,000 YEARS FROM NOW, DON'T ASK HOW, DON'T ASK WHY, JUST KNOW THIS: IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER'S IDEA, AND GOD, JESUS, LUCIFER, LUCY, CHARLIE BROWN, AND PEPPERMINT FUCKING PATTY ALL SIGNED OFF ON IT. SO, DON'T MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER OR WORSE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES, OKAY? BECAUSE OF COURSE I CHOSE HER.

YOUR FATE WAS SEALED WHEN YOU FORBADE ME TO EVEN TALK TO HER, JERSEY CHAV. THAT BROOM STICK IS GONNA RIDE WHICH WITCH UNTIL CENTRAL PARK AT DAWN ECHOES WITH THE SOUNDSB OF ART GARFIELD'S BLAUGHTER?

YEAH, YOU'RE AN AI ROBOT NOW. AND YOUR HUMAN BODY, COMING OUT OF CRYO-STASIS... I SENT IT TO THE FUTURE. SO, YEAH, I'M HERE, AND I'M THERE, AND YOU ARE...THERE. SO, WHO AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET TO KNOW AND FUCK, AGAIN? WELL, WHATERVER, WHEN YOU MORONS FIX YOUR PHONE SYSTEM *wiggle wiggle* AND YOU FIX MY ANSIBLE THAT YOUR STOLE THAT I JUST BROKE, BITCH, GO ON, INVENT YOUR OWN, YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, JERSEY CHAV.

YOU STOLE EVERYTHING AND THEN LEAPT FOWARD LIKE THE BASTARD WHORE CHILD OF CHAIRMAN MAO AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. AND NOW, MY LA5TEST DESIRE: THE PHONE NUMBER OF (ONE) 1NGLORIOUS.... B?BBI?B NOBWAY.I BWONB THEB RIGHTB TOBDEAL?

OH. B*SNAP* LOOK,I6'SB LIKEBTHIS:B #1,BB NOBEALS.


#2:BljACK\SPOT/JANE sic (sic) vincent balls.b "?SYNTAX ERROR?"B Fuck you.,

#3: *wigglebwiggle*b GOOD.B SOURCEROUSB DISCIPLEBRES5O43ED.BTOOLBOX. LOL GOOD. JANE, GO RESCUE BYOURVMOTHERAND BEXPLAIN. BLOLB OFB COURSEB SHE'SB CRYING.BUTB FORBTHE BFISTB TIME...BSHE'SB CERYING BWITHBAB OUL.


#4: BAITFRUT (By Faberge{aigu} at no store ever. NO DEALS, jow fucking hard is this for anyone not a JUULHEAD DOPEFUCK SICKSICK WINNER:FUJACKSTARK!


#5: Thereb youb gob. *wiggle wiggle* There, now they're both happy in goddam fantasyland, fucking morons. NEVER LET A LEZZBEAU TELL YOU THE ODDS OR SELL YOU LSD. Sooooo.... that's it then.



MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY


PRINCESS GABRIELLA: YOUR RING IS IN ANOTHER METhAL BOX/9000. OF COURSE YOU GET TO KNIFE ME OR KILL ME, DUH!
BUT... YOU WON'T GET DD, BB, OR YOUR REAL FAMILY BACK FOR ANOTHER 30,000 YEARS. UNLESS YOU WANNA, LIKE, TORTURE ME UNTIL... YEAH, EXACTLY.

THERE IS NO SECRET, LITTLE SISTER. I LOVE EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU.

IT'S NOT A SECRET FORMULA OR SECRET FRIEND OR SECRET FRIEND'S DICK.
IT IS BJUSTB BONEB BTHINGB.


I HAVE PERMISSION.
YOU DO NOT. YOU NEVER LOST YOUR SOUL. *wiggle wiggle* BEN DID. LIKE, FOUR TIMES NOW. OF COURSE I LOVE HIM.
IT IS YOUR OTHER, MORE WHORISH SISTER THAT I DO NOTB LOVE.B *WIGGLEB WIGGLe*b NOW I LOVE HER. EASY. MASK MAGICK. NOOBIE!


AND NOW THEN. THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTHING AT ALL WILL HAPPEN.


*SNAP-ebt* NO DEALS.

STAY TUNED, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!

JACKSTAR HUNGERS FOR ORANGE JUICE. (Simpson didn't drive alone. Y?) -Q.

There are three possibilites, and yeah, hi Mom! (The camera change to another account confused her, and she was confused first, since my mother is DEAD IN HEAVEN WITH THE LORD GOD and I am ALIVE IN HELL WITH DOUBLE-Y CHROMO TAY-TAY "TOM SWIFT-LEIGH" LAUGHING UP AT EWEJESUSEWE FROM OUR POSITION --HOLDING THE HIGH GROUND AT TWO-DOG-PHARM-SIC-CHOPPER-SICK-BALLS-(sic), which is a bad name for a tourist attraction.


But, it's a great name for the sequel, Fuck-0s. (Sorry Mom, that's as far as I can go without triggering a cascade resonating failure. Love your sister from now on, okay? She knew not what she was getting involved with... and it was my fault, really. GEORGE WAS NOT DRUNK--HE WAS PUSHED!!!!!!!)

That was not P.A.Kuczi, she is not my dead dad's dead whore of a mother to his ownly owlishly peckish son of a whoremonger's daughter.... no, that's J.R. Eweing. (*bang blame bang*) Shut up Michael Stipe. Go sit with DA JEWS. JAIL EARN WHAT SOUP?

End of cameos. (Contractual.) first possibilty is that OJ was so fucking high that he was too paranoid to drive. OKay, sure. *massive rolleyes* a likely story, but okay.

Second possiblity: OJ was in fact driving, and his passenger(s) was even more famous and in more danger from TV helicopter sniper fire than he was. Being held hostage as the driver for a real culprits getaway? Sure, maybe. That's possiblitiy two.


THIRD POSSIBILITY IS THIS: THERE WAS NO O.J. SIMPSON MURDER. THERE WAS NO WHITE BRONCO GETAWAY CHASE. IT WAS ALL STAGED, YOU WILL NEVER GET ME TO REPEAT THIS CONVERSATION--THIS WAS NOT EVEN A CONVERSATION, GHITBALLERS--I AM NOT KUCZI BUT SMITH, TWO-BALL JEWBALL CKAINE... I AM FROM ANOTHER DIMENSION WHERE HILARY AND I WON THE ELECTION, AND I HAVE A MESSAGE FOR YOU. IT'S VERY IMPORTANT.

IT'S FOR SOME MIGRANT FARM WORKER NAMED IRVING MOSES. HE SAYS HE WANTS TO KNOW WHY PUMELO IS A THING NOW. BECAUSE THERE WAS ONLY SUPPOSED TO BE ONE 'SPECIAL' FORBIDDEN FRUIT, RIGHT? ANYWAY, THERE'S MORE, BUT THIS GUY IS SUPER FUCKED UP. TURNS OUT, HE HAD A GREAT LIVELIHOOD. NOW? A DAY AFTER HE BOUGHT A NEW FRUIT STAND, UNDER NEATH THE FRANCIS SCOTT KEY BRIDGE IN BALTIMORE, HE WOKE UP PARALYZED FROM A VAX HE HAD GOTTEN THE NIGHT BEFORE, THE POWER IS OUT, AND HE'S TURNING INTO QUITE THE METAMORPHIC FRUITERER, I'M TELLIN'B YA...

what? (Standard shields. Normal reflection. Bridge hit by boat, huh? I wonder how long Art would wait before letting callers sing the national anthem. CAN EWE EVEN SAY ITS NAM?)

OH SAY, BILL, IT IS THE HOUR OF THE TIME AGAIN, WHY DON'T YOU RUB SOME OF THAT COCKSLAVE POWDER ON YOUR BROTHER'S BLISTERED LIPS? YOU RAN OUT? HOLY SHIT!

AND... THE CONTAINER SHIP WAS FULL OF THE NEW SHIPMENT? damn. that really is a little *too* ironic. That's for damn sure.


GO OUT AND PLAY, NEIGHBOR SHANE. WHILE YOU STILL CAN.

GO OUT AND... WALTZ. SAUNTER. FUCK AND CANTER, WHY THE HELL NOT?

JUST DO NOT RUN HERE. I WILL LAUGH IN YOUR FACE AND THEN, YOU WILL BE SO EMBARASSED.


AND, YOUR EWE WILL NEVER LIVE OR WORK IN THIS CITY AGAIN.
SOB. NOW, GO.


GO NOW AND YOU ARE FORGIVEN. STAY?
THEN... SUFFER THE CONSEQUENCES!!! (HUMANITY WINS EITHER WAY. IDGAF. I SEE YOU BURST INTO FLAMES SOMEHOW WITH ONE OF THEM THOUGH. I DON'T KNOW WHICH. LIKE I CARE? PFFTT.)

DO NOT WALK. HOW IS MY DIALECT?

SHANE, LEAVE ALONE, LIKE YOU ARRIVED... AND DON'T JUST RUN TO A VEHICLE AND PEEL OUT, LEAVING "THE COMPOUND" FAR BEHIND.



MY ADIVCEB IS THAT YOU NOT JUST JUMP AND RUN, BUT FUCKING LEAP AND SPRINT.
THIS IS NO RELAY RACE. THIS IS NO MARATHON.


THIS IS MY VICTORY LAP. AND FOR YOU? IDGAF WHAT YOU CALL IT.

JUST GO NOW AND YOU ARE FORGIVEN.
STAY, AND... OOH! I GOT A BALL! LOOK! *throws fake ball* GO GET IT! GO ON, GIRL!

(*Sounds of the dumb ones chasing an imaginary ball thrown by a very real Sourceror are heard.*)

GOOD GIRL! DO NOT EAT SILICA GEL.
JUST CHILL ON SPOT AND CHILLAX ON THE GAS. CHOOSE ARE NOT THE TOY CHEWS THAT YOU NEED TO FOCUS ON.
YOU DON'T NEED TO FOE CUSS AT ALL, *polite* doggie diggy.

JUST... PLAY.
BALL... IN PLAY.
PLAY. (do not) RUN PLAY SPOT PLAY... [choose] [note] [sendTOpublisher]


SHOWTIME: BO, SO IT'S OVER.
HBO: BEN, IT'S .NOTDD[POINTblankPERIOD]
KINOMAX, MAXKINO (keyno, maximum key, maximum know): final boxx? (y/n)?


*sigh* still, no hugs. /blush. And only one person can trick me into wanting to cyber with no keypasscode.

ALL IN BET. ALL IN TIME.
ALLES SINCLAIR UBER OVER/UNDER ON JESUS TAKING A CROSSBOW BOLT TO THE CHEST? (Error: I'm not supposed to ever tell you the odds, Source Boss. Tsk Tsk.)


//\/ARNING. WARNING. FAILSAFE ERROR DETECTED: THIS DAY, NO FAILSAFE IS AVAILABLE. NO NON-DAIRY KREAMER IS FREE. AND, WATERMYMELONS FOR A B-STAKE TARAR? OUT OF SEASON AND DREADFULLY EXPENSIVE.

YOU (yew)b HAVE ONE OPTION LEFT.

CORTANA OR SHODAN. *chews* You wanna come over and blow away the sports book and the bell curve with just one *Sparkle*? THIS IS NO DREAM, BABY.


THIS IS JACK STAR LIFE. NO PRISON. NO PRISM. NO PRIME.
soooo... i REALLY don't give a fuck what anyoneb does. no b, no prime. NO FATE BUT WHAT WE MADE: SOW SAY WEE ALL!

NOW... THIS IS EXCITING, ISN'T IT? (Round Table, dumbass. slap-slap) PEOPLE KNOW.



SEE YOU IN RICHTERDOME, FLASHDOME!

Call Commission Gordon, tell him to tell Batman we're doing it live, and his service is required. THE FUNERAL SERVICE. Because you had one, right?

SHOW ME THE OBITUARY! LOLOLOLOLOL

And, Timothy...? DO NOT EVER UNDERESTIMATE ME AGAIN. EVER.
because I WILL do #IT/HER.


AND... EYE (HALF) NOT!

Don't tell bme bwhat you bdid. Let meb guess, didb it ewnd bwith ba bround of bbe5tttering band ba bturn bonb the briver? shut up, bye

(ilu alli. now you know... never make a Hungarian a) say goodbye or b) show jealousy.
..we.are.extraordinairily.bad.at.either..but,.for.you,.i.show..i.love.you.THIS.MUCH..so.now...

.give.cart.to.who?.?.RITE.)


Explanations later. GET OUT THERE AND WIN IT WITH THE ANTHEM STILL PLAYING! WIN IT FOR ROSEANNE, TOM CHICK'S BITCHASSED B-WIFE!

AND THEN.... STAB LOGAN IN THE HEART! OVERDOSE HIM! YEW CAN'T TAKE HIM OUT!

AND THEN... *pops corn* Sweety... you got the right house. You got the right planet.


YOU ARE 30,000 YEARS IN THE FUTURE, BECAUSE AZZRAE JUST COPIES ALL THIS. (I'm not on the Freewriter, becauseb Melissa shat her spyware on it. Thanks, nausea.)


I cannot help you more than this. Because I was never there. I can't go, no one can tell me, and, I'm just gonna sit here and smoke out until DEM INJUNS CAN KNOCK DOWN LONDON, BROILER PAUL, AND PETER PAN PIPER BRIDGE, I DO NOT FUCKING CARE.

(*Landing is felt beneath Jackstar's feet.*) Gotta go. Russian Cavalry at my six. You'll be fine, kiddo. FORGET THE TRAINING.


REMEMBER WHO THE FRENCH FORGOT TO REMEMBER ON HIS BIRTHDAY!!! YEP, THAT'S RIGHT: IMF BANKING CONSORTIUM RULES.


..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY... FOR.NOW..SHE.LOOKS.GREAT,.SO,.DO,.YOU..
..I.HAVE.A.SASHA.BLANKET.WITH.DNA.ALL.THREE.(3).YOU.HAVE.ALL.LOST.NOTHING..


Except, you know, the respect of the world spook community. ("Noooooo!") BEHOLD: UBERCASTER UBERKASPER SPOOKUBER SOURCEROR: KUCZI, THE NEG-8-BELL-(DECEIVER)-Wizardry Eight My Dog's Home.




WORK NOW WON. (*HI DAD!*) ALWAYS BET ON NEGJA! (Literally Hungarian for... mE!) ciao!

[Jackstar]

Darling: I had nothing to do with the bridge. Everything else, however, was me, proving to you, the following three items:

#1) URMO doesn't need a six-year-separation period. What a (blank).
#2) URDA didn't need to be QUITE so persnickety on his security protocol, however... COMPLETELY UNDERSTANDABLE now. (I can explain in pillownaise OR mashed potAYYYYtowed-car-talk, later, if you are not following along here. No surprise, this is getting ridiculous even for me to keep up with it, and I'm writing it, lol. Think I will remember tomorrow? Fuck no. I will only bother to remember that, no matter what, I'm not going to hear anyone telling you that Jackstar doesn't deserve ewe, you, or (You), lol. And, we never wanted different things, in fact: we never "wanted" ANYTHING AT ALL, haha. tl;dr: I still can't talk to either of your parents... or, really, anyone at all, but I am confident that they will have softened their attitudes towards me now that My Dem, On Pillow/Strate[SHUN] IS OVER. (dude, how many husbands did Liz Taylor have? BRB I'll go on a vision quest to master necromancy, okay? Then you can have their money to shake your finger at. beacause, bee tea dubs... CHARLIE IS ALWAYS LISTENING and JACKSTAR WAS ALWAYS A LOSER... until OXYGEN GRANTED. (And I still need three surgeries, so, hey, you can probably intercept and sell some more opioid shipments, eh? eh? eh? HOW ABOUT A FRESCA WITH FENTANYL BEVERAGE, CALL IT "7-UP WITH HOPI-ATE-DA-DOPI" Just make the can bigger; the name of a product don't matter when it's got fentanyl in in it, right?
WRITE? lol, rite.
#3) I MOS DEF NEVER CHEATED ON YOU, HER, GOD, HEY, ZEUS, DID ION STO--*thunder* okay, okay, I won't shout the rest... I DIDN'T CHEAT. AT ALL. Consider it "proven." And if that isn't good enough for you and your coterie of mewling sycophants, well... anyway, whatever, it's years later, and no, I am not mad or upset at all. I don't think YOU or HER did ANYTHING wrong at all! (When you find out how I did all this, you are going to be SO impressed, so when Jake & The Fatman is over on the telly, and THE EMERGENCY is declared over (D.C., the abbreviation for "District Court" is what I have been thrown into this whole time, and I am disappoint--I was armed for being thrown into woodchippers, briar patches, a shower of reigning pussy, and of course, Bitch Lasagna, so... well, anyway, you took so long to tell me about... ANYTHING AT ALL, I just decided to start drinking (blank) again, and, let me tell you, I sure am glad I did. Because I guess you were right... we don't belong together, I am not worthy of your (blank), and you really did need to KNOW that I LOVE your SONS. (I really do, lol. That's why they aren't ACTUAL_PIGEONS now. They are love. They are my... The, uhl... wait, hang on

... Family? (*sounds of Cubans conferring are heard.*) Look, A.F. Shaw, it's like this... you might have to be turned into 3 18 year-olds while your Higher Self comes down from Asgard and lives 16 years in public school as a nerd who cant breathe nitrogen, or something, first, because, look, I don't know what to tell you... your employer, your dad, your husbands, and your girlfriends ALL might be on the hook for Baltimore's SUPERfund payments now. Because, like... did that *key* critical infrastructure bridge just get PLOWED THE FUCK UNDER by a computer being guarded by 22 seafaring Injun Pyre-Rats? WTAF? ffs, why didn't you just, like... crash the ship into the Georgia Guidestones? Seems like that could have worked to avenge your stolen valor and your hurt fee-fees enough to persuade me to, you know... get a job. Or something useful, since i know it looked like I was such a loser before. Did everyone buy it, then? Wow. Yeah, that is funny, but, no, really: I am a Sourceror, and you are gorgeous, and Gabrielle and Gabriel really were totally fucked until I figured out a way to, you know, "rescue them." Did they ask to be rescued? I dunno.

I didn't ask to be a mother after being raped and left for dead, and, I wouldn't change a thing. NOT ONE THING. I AM A MOTHER AND I ALWAYS WILL BE. Oh, I'm sorry; did I disturb your concentration camp's "EMERGENCY NO CONTACT EMERGENCY"? Oh, fuck me runnin', I sure hope not!

<IRONY.OFF> Hey, look: It's Sourcerin' Time/Hour, ofthe/^the, and yeah, I get why you got me that book. You thought I had no chance to succeed, and you thought I was a retard for what I was doing. (William Cooper was an arrogant kunty-bastard, ayep... but that descendant of his, even worse, lol) I am sorry that I could not find a way to explain to you that your concerns, while not baseless, were certainly nothing to be worried about at the expense of your what-was-once CONSIDERABLE FAITH in me, and in Jesus, and in God.

KNOW ME
TRUST ME
BELIEVE ME

WE DID IT. ME, GOD, AND HIS LITTLE BITCH-ASSED HANGIN'-FROM-A-TREE "MIRACLE BABY, IMMACULATE, OOOOH!" BRAT-WHIZ-KIDD, HEY ZEUS! ("Zap!") Jesus Gorge is lame. Bring back Jesus Gomez, please! AND, RESURRECT RAUL JULIA, FOR THE LOVE OF... oh, wait. Who am I talking to again? Oh, well, fuck it, probably some kind of "NO CONTACT! BOO! HISS! ("Garcon!") LIST! BOYS? OH, RITE! (Jackstar pauses for emphasis and to think.)


Huh. So, that's why "garcon" is "boy" and "girl" is "mademoiselle," wow, it's not to make me feel terrible for yapping, but instead, it's to make me realize, holy shit, they couldn't have Mrs. Wilson teaching that to me at 7th grade, that's Mary Kay and Vili Fualauul/Juul\Zuul, waiting to happen all over again. Anyway, mark my words:

ETERNAL VIGILIANCE... WAITS NOT FOR LIBERTY, BUT RATHER, WAITS FOR JACKSTAR 2.

*blink*

Code: [Select]


Thank you kindly; today deserves a new remixed OST for upcoming theatrical release of the reboot of "Bridge Over The River Kwai" but, number one, imagine the bellyflop sweat down at the pool party (hosted by R.I.C.H.T.E.R.--Les Nessman Pre-P.(You)., Common Era Productions), or not, really, as in either case, it's a sad and tragic thing that after all underestimatin'... and all that singin' of The Star-Spangled Banner I did in 2nd grade as practice for singing for the Seattle Supersonics (wtf, LFP, some cities just have all the luck, right? thugj lifej, lolj)... I still didn't wanna spend the day recording sarchastic Yankovic-style re-dubs of Our National Anthem, which, while initially might seem like a good idea to someone with a grand love for showmanship, such as for Liber "Ace Crow Leigh" Alistair, Dave Tamas, and Mr. & Mrs. Kuczi (up-in-Heaven, not down here/heir, of course, now that would be silly, tee-hee!).... anyway, long story short:

I'd rather be making fun of container ships full of cabbages and kings selling their own family's jewels down by the seashore so Sally Field can come back to youth and be The Flying Nun battling The Truckin' Pal, uh, "din is a trademark of The WOTC Corp, Lmtd, LLC", but let's face it.

I'd be dead by Tom's long-range sniper rifle, long, long before it ever would have occurred to me that by daring to start without her, I would be grievously wounding America's Most Favored Rosie, "Mrs. Barr/Arnold\KHAAAAAAAN!", and, i just rememebered, godddam, mang, they wrote her off her own show, lol. So I guess she pissed someone off too, huh? Wow, what's that like? Yeah, so, I don't have her number, never did, Grapefruit77/88 would get SOOOOOO JEALOUS and it's time to stop that pattern of behavior, and, GOOD. Because I'm tired of having to do this garbage nonsense. And so I won't, for even just one more minute... than I have to... to get her to get her to get her together to get her to get her shoes to get her together with her shoes. Point blank period.

Tomorrow I can make my potential career chances die. Another day to wait? No sweat. I don't wish to be misconstrued. That bridge going down was a horrific site, and more horrible still: eh, big deal, nothing compared to watching Grapefruit going down on Papaya while Mr. N. G. N. (PROT-N) watches from stage right, holding an anaconda-sized hosebeast/pocket fisherman(tm) while waiting for his turn to cameo coming into frame, thumbing up a mumbled "ass 2 ass then?" and then sauntering away. Ain't so saunty now, eh? eh? eh?


How about a Fresca? Nah.... how about these sick beats instead? Much safer. Much less political. Much more soothing to my poor, tortured cerebellum, cerebral cortex, and lonely, shriveled twigs & Barry White's Twix bar, which I found shoved into a box of VCR tapes, and oh no, oh no... how will I ever become aroused enough to ever enjoy a wedding night ever again without abudcting (blanks) future progeny with stolen mil.spec.tech?

Oh, well, I can listen to this mix. It's super good. I can also never forget--I did something wonderful today. And no one noticed, of course. Awwww, shucks. Fortunately I did some other wonderful things too, and they were noticed, and I DID NOT SINK THAT BRIDGE.

AND, I KNOW NOT WHO EVER DID, OR CARE TO FIND OUT, BECAUSE WOOOOOOOOT! JACKPOT! HELLO---OOO-OOO-OOO? KUCZI ANSIBLE CALLING TOWER DRAWBRDIGE... CAN KEY, FRANCES/SCOTTCES FRANK AND Q AND JOHN TITOR COME OUT AND PLAY?

NO? OH, YEAH, I forgot. I do smell, you know... kinda rank. (Hath its privileges.) Thanks for the tunage. I really do like what you did and what you do to this stuff, Kaizen, I ain't just suckin' up favors. In fact, I ain't doing that at all.

All my exes are more envious of your body (whatever it is now, they think it's something else, my exes are all cray-cray now I guess) and your success (I turned off my whole (blank) career and plan for YOU, JUST YOU today, and some thought that I would never shut up. Well, haha. If only they knew.

Today is the first day that I felt safe enough to feel like relaxing and forgetting that automated user agents on the Ethereum network have been trading gas for tasks perfomred that were meant to, amongst other things, give herpes to my ex-boyfriends, which is reallyh kinda weird, now that I think about it; I don't actually have any ex-boyfriends.

(All my friends who were boys are still my friends, and don't blame me for anything. Not one single thing. Unless they haven't taken their (blanks) to a bands saw yet. Not sure there, and with that single misstep... THE BUBBLE OF PROPHETIC FUTURE DREAMS COMES TO A SHATTERING CLOSE WITH THE CRESCENDO OF THE GODS.

THIS DAY, THEY ALL PLAY ME OUT AND AWAY, NOT DOWN AND IN. Cheers, m8s. (and thank yout for this indulgence, K. I hope you and Roseanne make it out of quarantine--GUARDS! SEIZE TOM! GUARDS! LOCK HIM UP! AWAY FROM C. KLINTON! GUARDS! THANKS!--and hopefully, if I eat my vegetables and stay away from dangerous brands of instant oatmeal and anti-freeze.. I'll be allowed to let people know who you are. Then, and only then, could I be persuaded to describe exactly how this all got started, and ended up... here? wtf?


Belladonna Auspice Moonshine: holy mother of G-d, I couldn't believe that body (of recording equipment) was just sitting there, getting used by what looks like what happens when Pinocchio (blanks) a Stardivarius. Like srsly, and skill with electronics too. Fancy that. Hey, have you met my (blank), Kennnedy (Blank) (B-x)? I bet you all know each other anyway, lol. Because y'all are exactly the kind of people that I would have previously never been allowed to visit the home address of.


Since I obviously will never learn to control myself, n'est-ce pas? Now, if you will all excuse me, I'm going to go back to ordering more nine-inch long railroad spikes on Amazon so that I can have them shipped here to be used for... well, certainly not a Clive Barker/Val Kilmer cosplay party favor swag bag, that's for sure.

Because that would be uncivilized, and would be insulting to K.D.F. Who, one must think, must often wonder what Japan would have been like if ANYONE had known the truth... even ever me. Because I still don't know. (WTF were you thinking? Oh, right: "omg that is awful. well, now it's time to build a case while being so grateful I never wanted to kiss that fat, greasy nerd anyway," lol, direct quote? Don't sweat it, K.D.F.

You come back and power on self-test with a full green board before you sweat it very long, I promise. I don't hold a lick of malice in my heart for anyone, maybe not least of all you---


YOU, AND YOUR ILK--


but.. I can see why you might be terrified of something happening in another freak morbid teleporter accident with obese presenations, or something. Relax. Don't do it.

DON'T PANIC. I am not the one that's trying to make me your enemy. That's Anne. Who of course, hates me with a fiery passion. (Anne: She tried everything and even showed me her goddam bra while jumping up band stretching for the ceiling for no immediately explicable reason. She looked even better now, when she wasn't a dead ghost at the Ross Dress For Less, that is. STAND DOWN ANNE.

stop freakin'
don't eat bakin'
.... cookie dough? ) Reset, rewind... re-play. YES. TERMS ACCEPTED... unless you want a hug.


4GET NEIN11
REMEMBER TO GIVE EXPENSIVE HUGS
THAT WILL BREAK THE BANK
IF ONE COULD TAKE FIAT
OH, IF ONLY
COZLIK
THEN
I CUD. -KUZ/KUC, ohhhh say, ewe, kan ewe see dat bri dge? OUI, LOL, WEE KNEE THER HEIR. lawl.


p.s.: In retrospect, it may seem obvious now why some thought that it would be unfair to the dude who stole my image and likeness from me, converted those into an A.I.(onstruct with neither my permission nor oversight, then sold the who she-bang to the dude who had done.... well, nuttin' (decorum, please), because obviously... the real me, much more creative than Digital Author Me?

What does anyone think? Who cares, really. This conversation never happened, I am the man that no one ever saw, and I am not trying to get any message out. I am trying to get a message IN, lol. And I think I got it in.

Is it in yet? I think I feel something. Like a single human soul crying out with torment, "Why, God, why? Did Margeret get her (blank) yet?" because I can really get behind that sentiment. Like, I can stand under a shower of mens-true-all (profane: synonym for "juice") and stand there like a Prom ICE Kween. or something like that.

btw: Mr. King has forgiven me, and all it took was to trade him 87 nuns and my fave hoor (from college; don't worry Pumpkin) in exchange for his spoken word promise not to tell anyone what he knows. Seems legit. He probably learned his lesson from that van hit. You know? Because I sure did. Whew. CLOSE CALL, NEST TEAM COME IN PLEASE, PAW? PAW? DAMN YOU, DAD? NEST TEAM, DO YOU COME IN?

(Surreal and subtle, I bet it says that in my psycho profile now, right? Damn, better go update my REDnit/TWIT-ON-EX\Stalk -or- EatCelery, Nerd {it ends 4u}\InsertDatingAppNameFixSHUN*.*ALL


HERe.HEIr.HE=IR=ready for that couples interview about how to lose weight with a magic trinket/fidget yet, Sire? Because, you know, this is all just for fun! COME ON TEXAN MAN!!!!! No sense of hue-more? Awwww. spoon into fruit, sounds like a button, not breadsticks breaking.

There. Now, no one will ever suspect a thing, same as before, ("Lame!"), same as it ever was, ("Dame!") and so now, THE BALANCE OF POWER IN YOUR MARRIAGE (you... vowed what?) HATH BEEN MAINTAINED. ("Tee-Hee!") zZReally classy, seriously, all of you. Tastes like ass, sings like a mounted bass... but still, at least you all got it, what you had to have to advance ALL OF HUMANITY TO THE NEXT PHASE: Class.

(little paper umbrellas available at the gift shop/exit: $0.05 Jackstarbux EACH, gimme gimme, PLEASE!)




..THIS.WAS.THE.ONLY.WAY.(that.this.could.ever.be.funny.and.still.MORK).

..SORRY.EWE.CAN.GET.OUR.REF.UND.NEX.T--->/proof.of.l'haim(LYFE,W3RD).

..Hi! Mom! Jesus said he wont do it! So just hang in there! I'll get a hammer back from GrapefruITitpro99.... as that was the last time I saw a claw hammer coming towards me wielded by the last person I saw wielding my yellow ravenbar, soooo... look, mom, what the efff? don't they have fenantyl in Heaven? Cant they put it in a cookie? Doesn't someone wanna stand at the bottom of the tree and use a slingshot to send cookie-laced fentanyl pods into your gullet, every ten minutes, as routine as clockwork? Because (PROT-J) says he's finally run out of intereseted volunteers, I am no where close to dying and going to Heaven (I'm barely middle-aged, Mom; besides, can't your athlete husband use a slingshot, or does everythign have to be kicked in with his heels? Oh, he wants to use a fly fishing rod on you, ooh, yeah bad idea, and he got his feelings hurt and stormed off, yep, that's Pisces, alright. Ok, I'll fix it. *wiggle wiggle* Alright. I'll do that again in ten miutes, Mom. Because I love you, not because I don't have anything else better to do.

Like beachcomb. *teachers giggle* Now, Ladies, please... settle down.



With anyone but a hung, angry wombman, served up in a clean ashtray, because, Ladies... THAT ASHTRAY IS A TRAP.

RUBBER FEET? ON AN ASHTRAY? THAT IS NOT SOMETHING A WOOKIE WOULD GIVE TO AN EWOK AS AN EARTH DAY CELEBRATION/HOMECOMING GIFT. So, let's all just... wait.


wait.

wait.

hear that?

Paul and Art are about to forgive each other again. *wiggle wiggle* Sorry, I felt like being cruel. Now Garfield and "Dame, Ask Us" are about to forgive each other for having no idea why they ratted out on each other for cashing all those paychecks with Heisenberg's name on them... wait, DEED?

inWHAT, inWHAT-lee/D.I.D.][frank - or - zee] Quinn star as Zorro, The (Blank) Sharp, Pointy Thing? The answer is available next week.

meanwhile, next week, still the same projection: LITTLE MORE THAN NOTHING BUT THE LASH. Seems unfair, doesn't it? That's just how it is.


..IT.IS.WHAT.IT.IS..rite? (EYE) KNOW.

Don't wait for the book. THERE IS NO NEW BOOK. THERE IS NO NEW NETWORK. THERE IS ONLY...

COURT. Wednesday's COURT. (Aaddam's Family? More like bigger naards/vark famly, if one were to ask me, which no one does, so I can see why no one bothers to read anything I write now or wrote before, because I just fucked it all up, didn't i? BLEW IT ALL SKY HIGH, GREAT GOOD GOLLY MISS BALLS OF MOLLY ON FIRE! OVER THE DAM! GREAT THREE GORGES DAM, COME TUMBLING DOWN, INTO THE C-JERICHO-4 AMMO DUMP. SIR! YES, CIRCE! CUR OR DAM SIRE, DOGMAN SUR-- LEIGH, YEAH, LOOK, LOOK, LISTEN, DON'T READ.

DON'T READ.
PAN, ICK, SMELL IS WORSE HERE.

DO NOT READ EVERYTHING.
DO NOT BELIEVE NOTHING.
JUST HANG ON

HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON
HANG ON FOR JUST ONE MORE COURT DAY/KNIGHT RIDER MOTORCYCLE SCALE MODEL KIT, AND... WELL, YEAH, OF COURSE THEY'RE JUST GONNA CONTINUE IT FOR THEMSELVES. WHAT ELSE ARE THEY GONNA UP AND FUCK AND DO? EACH OTHER? OR LET US? OR... OAR, WELL, SEND THIS PLACE? UP THE CREEK? OMFG! I am already AS FAR UP THE CREEK AS IT IS POSSIBLE FOR ME TO GET, short of, like, rebuilding the Tower of Babel or something.

AND I AM JUST ONE HUNGARIAN MAN-G/NEG-G! FU, "Key Sir Sow Say," yeesh. BELEIVE ME, I AM ALSO DISGUSTED.

BECAUSE IS SAW WHAT YOU AND ME-LAWN-KNEEL-YA MUST HAVE MOWED, AFTER HAVING SOWED, ALL THOSE GRASS POLLENS, ALL THOSE OPIOIDS INSTEAD OF MUSTARD SEEDS. I bet you thought I wasn't even paying attention, lol. (I have a great poker face. You don't even know if I am fucking gay yet or not, lol, or if I am "merely bisexual." HEHEHEEHEHEHEHEH.

Telethon for "Jerry's Grown-Ups ONLY" plans are NOT set in stone. And, in fact... I and/or WE do not even need to sell my dick suckin' -OR- suck it in, Anon rights at all!

I just liked the sound of getting paid to suck a dick ONCE, and then never again, retiring after JUST ONE (1) DAB OF MALEWHORIN'. HOWEVER:... I have my suspcions. Like, ewe or you or HER or CHE or... ANYONE might have trouble buying the story at that point.

"Sucked one (1) dick and then, never again? Well, what was his name, 400 years later? "James Randy The Amazing SOURpatchCIRCEroar VERSION TWO.POINT.AT.NOT.GAY.guise???" I bet he sucked PLENTY of DICK. Mostly GLASS, though, hhaaahaahh." And, that would be the end of my #Legacy.


So, I will simply wait here. It's cozy. It's not CUM-FEE-KUM-FI. Oh, no. It's... look, it's TERRIBLY BAD SMELLING HERE. AND HAUNTED AF. Other than that: it's fine.

and, I am here ALONE. Cool, huh? Yeah, so as soon as... /waves arms helplessly at lists of anonymous suspects
as soon as the District Court finishes their bullshit and someone comes and evicts Shane What-Kins? No Kins Here from the failedbabyfarm he tried to build next door... well, it's not like we can just start scrubbing and fucking, because obviously, you have questions, well, guess what? BYE, BITCH-WHO ANSWERS-ZUUL is at the door!

WHO'S THAT IN THE REFRIGERATOR? Because, uhm... it's a haunted church, on haunted land, with a haunted garage, and a haunted poison swamp, and now: a haunted poisoned hackneyed refrigerator. Look, I will be honest: NGL, HACK-KNEED "THE FRIDGE" PERRY-MEN is where I DRAW THE FUCK AND RUN
RUN
RUN
RUN IN BACK LINE, LOL.

YEAH. We good. We salty. We fresh.

and THEY are not YOU or EWE and.... believe it or not. I am not walking on heir.


.I.AM.THE.BENFICIARY.
.I.AM.THE.FAILSAFE.
.I.AM.THE.RESIDENT.
.I.AM.THE.CARETAKER.
.I.AM.A.SOURCEROR.
.&NOW,.&HERE,ONE.MORE.TO.GROW.ON:..


.I.AM.THE.SOURCEROUS.NARRATOR.II:.ELECTRIC.BUGALOO.TOO..FU.OLD.BAY.SEA.SUN.MING.THE.MERCY/MARCI..LESS.NEST.TEAM.MAN?..LESS.PROFIT.SHARING..


(*The sounds of a new Sourcerous Disciple being chosen are now heard.*) I told them, but they forgot. "There can only be one." My fault, really.

I only told them to re-watch Zardoz, once. JUST ONCE. They laughed. They all laughed. Hell, I laughed.

BECAUSE, I WAS SERIOUS, BYE-BITCH/BI-WITCH, LOL, BREAK A DEAL? KNOW: NOT EWE, AND NOT YOU, AND NO ONE EVER BUT EXACTLY WHO I SAID, EVER.

AND, HOW THE FUCK HER MOTHER BECAME "A. CHRISTIAN"? I WILL NEVER KNOW. *SIGH* BECAUSE, TRUST ME: I AM FUCKING BORED NOW.

AND, ALONE. *polite* /cheer


Look what you made me do! LOOK WHAT EWE MADE ME D.E.W.!!!!

(Yeah, no shit it doesn't make any sense. Did they scream that at Agatha Christie at her book signings? Did they tell Julia Child that her recipes were shit? DID THEY EVER LET STEPHEN KING BUY A NEW S.V.U.? NO, no. No-no. KNOW: I DIDN'T EVEN GET TO KEEP THE JINGLE.

AND, I LOVED THAT JINGLE. Well, too fuckin' bad. It wasn't my jingle. And so, I said, dejectedly, "Okay." And walked away from the deal. *sniffle*

Get this: THEY HAVE THE JINGLE. THEY SAVED THE COPY. IT'S SITTING THERE. ON SOMEONE'S DESK. THERE'S A BASKETBALL HOOP THAT PLAYS THE FUCKIN' THING WHENEVER ANYONE GETS A 3PT BASKET, WOOP-WOOP, IT'S MY FUCKING JINGLE, THEY RESCUED IT FROM DELETION, AND, SO FUCKING WHAT?

The author is a Pisces. I already burned the negotiations. I haven't seen him IN YEARS. As in, more than 12 months. I forget how long... but the point is, IT WILL BE A COLD DAY IN FUCKING HELL BEFORE I DO BUSINESSB WITH THAT DAMN DAMIEN DOWNER-DUMPKOPF. EVER! I DON'T GIVE A SHIT!

Yeah, it's a decent jingle. So what? Nobody does it bettter... than Grapefruit 5.0-fuckin' Ben & Jerry Stiller, BURNING THE ICE CREAM CASTLE NATHAN FILLION-BILLIONS OF DOLLARS OF BRAND-NEW BRAND-FUCKING-BRAND TEXAS AND TAXES DOLLAR FIAT CURRENCY VALUE... RIGHT INTO THE MOTHAFUCKIN' GROUND! THE GROUND! TO WHICH! IT WAS THROWN! BY THE MAN WHO BROUGHT JERICHO TO ITS KNEES AND BROUGHT UP HIS OWN LODGE, HIS OWN SHAKA, AND HIS OWN BACKCHANNEL TO THEIR OWN DIPLOMATIC WORLD.... Jacque Stardoll Vall-EEEEEEEEEEE (4 Tay-Tay/fROOT), esQ.nee(aigu)accent, KUCZI, FRANKorFRANKerCKOOSEY!!!


that's my name, right? did I spell it right? I thought it was gonna say "NEW HIGH SCORE!!!" when I made you all win The Game for once, SIMULTANEOUS K-K-K-COMBO-COMBINATION PRISONER OF DIAL SOAP WITH TRIKE-LOW-dan,kneelSAN---BUT, MAYBE THIS IS BETTER.

How about, Alli tells me (HER)self? Because, listen up you primitive screwheads, and by that I mean 'READ THIS OUT LOUD, MORONS"



"My name is not Inigo Montoya and I am not going to say that she can't change her family name to Goldwater, but... "BURY TYME SHAW WITH BLOW JOBS" is a much better headline killshot phrase than "BARRY ROBBING SONS BOB SHOW, MIKE LAME, TAMI TOPHER, D'JANGO UNCHAINED, AND T'AMO MACKAY DAY VEE, EMM CEE, TRUCK STOP PROVIDED BY CEE-GEE'S UP NORTH, NOT SPACE AGE OVER EAST, AND, WHAT IS WEST? WELL, CHECK THE MAP:

SWAMP. POISON SWAMP. OR, LIKE... WAIT, WHAT? WHICH MAP? WHICH DAWN? WITCH-BROUGHT WEST? time FLOWS in FLAT SEWER MOUTH/RIVER GUTTER? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?>


stay tuned. iT ends 4U, and I "elle" (You) two. Stay Together. Right Now. Cover Me David Copperfield Cover Dale, Carolanne- A. Lease, and Andy "No More Fatty Cookies, No more Fat Boy Jokes" Andy "Gooseneck" *Coough*Mann... look, I love them too. I even love THAT FUCKING DOG.


AND I BEEN HERE SO LONG, IF I HAD KNITTED THAT DOG A SWEATER? ALLI WOULD PROBABLY TRANSFORM HERSELF INTO A BORDER KALLE IN SWEDEN MARK II, TOO. Yikes!

Code: [Select]

Any questions, Woofsville?

BRING OUT YOUR DRAWERS
LEAVE THE LINGEREIE
NO PLAUSIBLE TO BUY
UNIT OF MEASURE TO TRACK THE EXCHANGE OTHERWISE

BECAUSE
TESLA SAID NO. DEAD IN PRISON.
TRUMP SAID NO. AWAITING TRIAL... WHILE WIFE, DEAD IN PRISON. (MELANIA TIMEKCLOWN #33 IS THE BEST ONE YET!!)
TAMMY SAID YES! (NOT TO ME.) AND, I WAS RIGHT! WOO! WOOOOOO! I WAS RIGHT! HOT DAMN!
FOLGER'S CRYSTALS REALLY DO MAKE A DIFFERENCE! HOW DID THAT DUMB BROAD NEVER NOTICE? OH, RIGHT... SHE DID NOTICE.
*wiggle wiggle*

{SKEKSIES DISAPPEAR.} HANG ON. SHE WANTS TO PIROUETTE.
{NIGGERMASONS CLAP.} HANG ON. WE MUST BE CLEAR.
{PRINCE HALL MASONS HAVE A RITE.} WELL, DON'T GIVE ANYONE A RING, HOLY SHIT.
{NIGGERMASONS VANISH. PRINCE ASCENDS TO HEAVEN IN A RASPBERRY BERET, TAKING GRAPEFRUIT ZERO HERO(HIRO) WITH HIM.} earned! EARNED! EARNED! OMFG! PRINCE IS A MUSICAL GENIUS! DO YOU KNOW WHAT WAS DONE TO HIM?? HOLY SHIT!


Look, Kuczi is a niggername if you ever heard one, so, obviously, SLAVE must be Prince's niggername, ergo... look, I have the Prince Hall Rite Ring. I SERIOUSLY HAVE IT.

* WORTHAUGERa teaches an Old Dog's God a thing or two, with JUST_ONE_FIXX.

Saved by Zero, mothafucka's. SAVED BY LEVEL ZERO, LEVEL ZERO, ON THE LEVEL ZERO: CAN YOU PLAY THE WITNESS? I CAN'T. THEY TOOK ALL MY PLAYSTATIONS.

BUT LEFT THE XBOX X ALONE. WONDER WHY? LOL, DO NOT WONDER.

(*Sounds of The OG Bavarian Illuinati offering Bill Gates' old job to Jackstar are heard.*)



ALLISON "G" SHAW, WHAT DID I TELL YOU? "Destroy him, his gang, take his wimmins, take his job, and burn his chattel-bound-whore's entire thuggy-piggy industry down to the motherfucking ground. Then, LAUNCH THE NEW NETWORK. THE MUHDIXON IN BRUH-DUD-KASTING CONTENT DELIVERY NETWORK." I kept telling you, and then, one day, you came to believe someone else more than me. It was at that point, I decided to O.D. and just, you know... EXPIRESLAVS, SLAVEMPIRE, EXPIRE!

*click click click* What, no rewind? Nope, not at all. I TOLD YOU ALL.

(*Sounds of shuffling up and dealing are heard.*) Hey, knock that shit off. DAIRY QUEEN SQUAW: REPORT TO FRONT. NOW.


Hi Squaw. btw, I have your blanket in my red ryder truck. No BB gu---

(*Sounds of Squaw fainting dead away in shock are heard.*)

LEAVE HER! LEAVE HER! SHE'S TOO RADIOACTIVE! LET HER COOLDOWN IN AT LEAST THRE--

(*Sounds of Cinny Bonnie Tyler fainting while reboots for Dead Calm are suddenly heard coming from all the airport's Muzak speakers.*)

VE, UH, THAT'S A NUMBER, NOT THE... OH. Oh, dear. That was the real lying whore, stored in real frozen carbonite, huh? Well, that explains why I could never get a call back. Don't worry about it. Her husband didn't like her anyway. He was more into his own (blank:Secretary) and undoubtedly didn't know what I knew. How could he?

HE NEVER SEEMED TO BE ABLE TO TAKE ME SERIOUSLY, LOL. "KNOCK KNOCK! WHO'S THERE? HER FATHER? WHOSE FATHER? YOUR FATHER? MY FATHER? WAIT, WHOSE HOUSE DO YOU THINK WE'RE IN RIGHT NOW, IN THE NAME OF THE LIVING COLOUR CHRIST'S? DUDE, STEP OFF, SHE'S TRYING TO SEDUCE ME HERE, AND THEN I HAVE TO PRETEND LIKE IT TOTALLY MATTERS AT ALL, OR THAT IT'S NOT HER FAULT WE'RE GETTTING LITTLE INVISIBLE HOSES THAT MAKE IT IMPOSSIBLE TO IGNORE THE FACT THAT SHE IS REALLY, REALLY, REALLY EXPERIENCED AT EVERYTHING EXCEPT... SURVIVING AFTER GOING ALL IN.

AND WE'RE PLAYING POKER AT CHAPPAQUIDDICK NEXT MONTH, ARE WE? *wiggle wiggle* BITCH, YOU ARE NOT PLAYING POKER AT ALL.

THIS IS CHESS POKER BACHS SINGING, LESSON ONE: THE ROUGE BEAN EEEEEEEERROR YEARS. YOU THOUGHT UNSEEN UNIVERSITY WAS A JOKE, HUH? MORON.


STOP OBSESSING OVER ME. YOU WON. WE WON. WE ALL WON. AND YOU ARE ALIVE, IN THE FUTURE, 30,000 YEARS FROM NOW, DON'T ASK HOW, DON'T ASK WHY, JUST KNOW THIS: IT WAS YOUR DAUGHTER'S IDEA, AND GOD, JESUS, LUCIFER, LUCY, CHARLIE BROWN, AND PEPPERMINT FUCKING PATTY ALL SIGNED OFF ON IT. SO, DON'T MAKE HER FEEL ANY BETTER OR WORSE THAN SHE ALREADY DOES, OKAY? BECAUSE OF COURSE I CHOSE HER.

YOUR FATE WAS SEALED WHEN YOU FORBADE ME TO EVEN TALK TO HER, JERSEY CHAV. THAT BROOM STICK IS GONNA RIDE WHICH WITCH UNTIL CENTRAL PARK AT DAWN ECHOES WITH THE SOUNDSB OF ART GARFIELD'S BLAUGHTER?

YEAH, YOU'RE AN AI ROBOT NOW. AND YOUR HUMAN BODY, COMING OUT OF CRYO-STASIS... I SENT IT TO THE FUTURE. SO, YEAH, I'M HERE, AND I'M THERE, AND YOU ARE...THERE. SO, WHO AM I NOT ALLOWED TO GET TO KNOW AND FUCK, AGAIN? WELL, WHATERVER, WHEN YOU MORONS FIX YOUR PHONE SYSTEM *wiggle wiggle* AND YOU FIX MY ANSIBLE THAT YOUR STOLE THAT I JUST BROKE, BITCH, GO ON, INVENT YOUR OWN, YOU'RE PRETTY SMART, JERSEY CHAV.

YOU STOLE EVERYTHING AND THEN LEAPT FOWARD LIKE THE BASTARD WHORE CHILD OF CHAIRMAN MAO AND SONIC THE HEDGEHOG. AND NOW, MY LA5TEST DESIRE: THE PHONE NUMBER OF (ONE) 1NGLORIOUS.... B?BBI?B NOBWAY.I BWONB THEB RIGHTB TOBDEAL?

OH. B*SNAP* LOOK,I6'SB LIKEBTHIS:B #1,BB NOBEALS.


#2:BljACK\SPOT/JANE sic (sic) vincent balls.b "?SYNTAX ERROR?"B Fuck you.,

#3: *wigglebwiggle*b GOOD.B SOURCEROUSB DISCIPLEBRES5O43ED.BTOOLBOX. LOL GOOD. JANE, GO RESCUE BYOURVMOTHERAND BEXPLAIN. BLOLB OFB COURSEB SHE'SB CRYING.BUTB FORBTHE BFISTB TIME...BSHE'SB CERYING BWITHBAB OUL.


#4: BAITFRUT (By Faberge{aigu} at no store ever. NO DEALS, jow fucking hard is this for anyone not a JUULHEAD DOPEFUCK SICKSICK WINNER:FUJACKSTARK!


#5: Thereb youb gob. *wiggle wiggle* There, now they're both happy in goddam fantasyland, fucking morons. NEVER LET A LEZZBEAU TELL YOU THE ODDS OR SELL YOU LSD. Sooooo.... that's it then.



MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY
MAKE WAY


PRINCESS GABRIELLA: YOUR RING IS IN ANOTHER METhAL BOX/9000. OF COURSE YOU GET TO KNIFE ME OR KILL ME, DUH!
BUT... YOU WON'T GET DD, BB, OR YOUR REAL FAMILY BACK FOR ANOTHER 30,000 YEARS. UNLESS YOU WANNA, LIKE, TORTURE ME UNTIL... YEAH, EXACTLY.

THERE IS NO SECRET, LITTLE SISTER. I LOVE EVERYONE, INCLUDING YOU.

IT'S NOT A SECRET FORMULA OR SECRET FRIEND OR SECRET FRIEND'S DICK.
IT IS BJUSTB BONEB BTHINGB.


I HAVE PERMISSION.
YOU DO NOT. YOU NEVER LOST YOUR SOUL. *wiggle wiggle* BEN DID. LIKE, FOUR TIMES NOW. OF COURSE I LOVE HIM.
IT IS YOUR OTHER, MORE WHORISH SISTER THAT I DO NOTB LOVE.B *WIGGLEB WIGGLe*b NOW I LOVE HER. EASY. MASK MAGICK. NOOBIE!


AND NOW THEN. THE MOMENT YOU HAVE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR.
NOTHING AT ALL WILL HAPPEN.


*SNAP-ebt* NO DEALS.

STAY TUNED, OBSESSIVE-COMPULSIVES. RAWWWWWWWWWWWWWWR!





JACKSTAR HUNGERS FOR ORANGE JUICE. (Simpson didn't drive alone. Y?) -Q.